Would you leave your almost 18 year old for ten days to go on holiday?

[MissMillyMollyMandyy]

He's not remotely interested in coming and we do plenty with him anyway so we are thinking that this year we will go away for what will be ten days. Holiday on the Caribbean

First time I've ever left him for any length of time - there was a few days last year when we went to Portugal - I know, I know! But this isn't a deliberate thing, just how it's worked out

He's sensible on the whole. He will be 3 weeks off his 18th when we go away. However he is a very typical teen and will he take the opportunity to have a little skive off college and his part time job? Perhaps. Can't say for sure he won't. But overall, he's relatively sensible

I'd have my best friend popping in every day to ensure the cat has been fed properly and that he's not left every door unlocked and his 25 year sister is also local and will pop in and check he's ok regularly

Not quite sure why I feel anxious. It's not an all consuming anxiety and it's probably peri menopause driven tbh but I just want to feel relaxed about leaving him

So, would you trot off without a concern? Or would you be wanting to make sure all bases were covered so you could relax a bit?

@ClemFandangooo no Xbox in the Caribbean! He'd get on my nerves so much

You’re trusting him to stay on his own but not trusting him to feed your cat?!

@ramonaquimby he would feed the cat. Would he wash her bowl properly every day and feed her at 7am each day?

Unlikely tbh!

Will she starve? No

Will I be making sure she's properly fed by my friend and daughter checking each day? Yeah

My ExP’s son was about that age when he was left at home so his parents could go in holiday. They left him with food and money for pizzas to invite a couple of friends on a Saturday evening. One of the friends put it in social media, over 100 people showed up, they thrashed the house, stole laptops and other electronics, damaged furniture (proper intentional damage not just dancing on tables) and the poor guy couldn’t do anything to control the mob. A neighbour called the parents, the parents the police and they came back from the holiday the next day to find £10,000s worth of damage.

The guy might have been sensible and his GPs might have lived just a mile away but there was no way he, the neighbour or the grandparents could control such a mob.

@NotAgainWilson sounds awful! I don't have those concerns really! Cameras covering front, side and back of house and both my best friend and daughter are police officers so dunno of he would dare

And he doesn't use social media nor have those type of friends so it would be quite the surprise if he did that!

Yes I think he's got good supports there. I'd maybe arrange for him to visit your friend/ his sister/ for dinner a night or two while you're away just for the company and to make sure he's eating if you say he's not a great cook. I'd also run through scenarios with him so he knows what to do if xyz happens and how to keep himself safe but other than that if you feel he's generally sensible then yes I'd leave him.

He won't starve. You couldn't get me away quick enough, I wouldn't spend a second worrying about him while I was away. He's seventeen, not seven!

You said you want to feel completely comfortable - what do you need to be in place for you to feel completely comfortable?

No. We live somewhere horrible. Not close to the neigbours at all. Don't talk to next door or even see them for weeks on end.

Mine wouldn't have a party but he wouldn't like it in the middle of the night.

I was living on my own at 17, so yes, if they’re sensible and not likely to burn the house down.

An 18year old! Of course you can leave him,as long as you trust him to not have a party.

Is he going to uni in sept? If so you really need him to up his game!

Nope. I would have left my eldest at that age but not my DD who will be 18 in July. I wouldn’t leave at her 18 either… not all kids suddenly become mature and responsible overnight cos they’re suddenly 18 and an ‘adult’

Of course! I was living alone at university at 18.

The cat will manage being fed later, honestly. I'm a proper grown up now and mine never get fed at set times!

@FrenchandSaunders no he's not going to uni

@youngestisapsycho yep I know that hence why I just want to feel sure I'm comfortable with the plans I'm putting in place for him

@Jellycatspyjamas thanks, that's a really good question. And what I'm working through. I suppose knowing he can call on the support I've put in place (my best friend has known him from birth and is more like my sister) , making sure he's attending college and his little job and knowing he's ok in himself!

He will have access to as much money as he needs and a house full of food. He can order takeaways, whatever

I'm extremely house proud but I'm relaxed about coming back to things not being to my exacting standards 😀

@lifebeginsaftercoffee the cat will pester so much that he will
Have no choice but to remember to feed her 😀 plus I have my back ups for that! He wouldn't wash her bowl daily like I would for example but I'll ensure that's done of course

@Taylormiffed that's a shame. We are very lucky in some ways to live in a cul de sac of just 6 houses and we know our neighbours well so I can certainly ask them to keep an eye out too.

Why do you think he wouldn't?

I wouldn’t, she would hate it. I’d ask a family friend to stay or suck up the cost of cabs to and from sixth form from my nearest sibling and pack her off.

Nothing to do with trust, she would just fret and be unhappy.

@lifebeginsaftercoffee because he's lazy, in a nutshell. Whereas I'm there properly cleaning the bowl daily - he'd probably just pop her food in regardless of the cleanliness of the bowl.

@NoddyAndHisCar my friend would stay some of the nights if I asked her to. Not all as she has her own life and family but the odd one, absolutely. My daughter can't stay overnight really as works shifts and has animals at home

I'm lazy too but I still look after my animals properly.

Is he okay with all these people checking up on him like this?

Why can't he feed the cat?

Not my 17 and s half year old no.