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Would you leave your almost 18 year old for ten days to go on holiday?

207 replies

MissMillyMollyMandyy · 25/02/2024 17:18

He's not remotely interested in coming and we do plenty with him anyway so we are thinking that this year we will go away for what will be ten days. Holiday on the Caribbean

First time I've ever left him for any length of time - there was a few days last year when we went to Portugal - I know, I know! But this isn't a deliberate thing, just how it's worked out

He's sensible on the whole. He will be 3 weeks off his 18th when we go away. However he is a very typical teen and will he take the opportunity to have a little skive off college and his part time job? Perhaps. Can't say for sure he won't. But overall, he's relatively sensible

I'd have my best friend popping in every day to ensure the cat has been fed properly and that he's not left every door unlocked and his 25 year sister is also local and will pop in and check he's ok regularly

Not quite sure why I feel anxious. It's not an all consuming anxiety and it's probably peri menopause driven tbh but I just want to feel relaxed about leaving him

So, would you trot off without a concern? Or would you be wanting to make sure all bases were covered so you could relax a bit?

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 25/02/2024 19:06

I just realised you said 18 yo. In that case, yes.

Clearinguptheclutter · 25/02/2024 19:07

If he can’t be trusted to feed the cat then probably not tbh.

but I’d expect most kids that age to be ok to remember to feed the cat

youngestisapsycho · 25/02/2024 19:15

Abouttimeforanamechange · 25/02/2024 18:16

I would have left my eldest at that age but not my DD who will be 18 in July. I wouldn’t leave at her 18 either… not all kids suddenly become mature and responsible overnight cos they’re suddenly 18 and an ‘adult’

She could choose to move out at eighteen!

She could, but I know she wouldn’t.

Interested in this thread?

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youngestisapsycho · 25/02/2024 19:20

All 17 and 18 years olds are different… it’s not one size fits all. Some would be fine left, some wouldn’t. It’s like a competition on here sometimes!

Easipeelerie · 25/02/2024 19:21

I’m in the midst of this dilemma. Concerns: what if dd has a terrible fall out with boyfriend while we’re away. What if we’re burgled and she’s in the house alone when they come in? Would she lose her key? Would the cat litter be emptied regularly enough? Would taps and electrical devices be left on?
Yes, she’ll be just 18, but she’s not an adult in the same sense that I am.

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:24

I have teens same age. 10 days is too long. I would book a week first and see how it goes.

Scaraben · 25/02/2024 19:24

I would. At 17 and 9 months I was off to university, and my 2 DNs are planning to do the same at that age.

WeAreWarriorsWeAreWarriors · 25/02/2024 19:24

For the people that are saying they wouldn't leave their nearly 18 year old...

What would you do?

Not go on holiday? Get someone to babysit? Kick your son/daughter out of the house for the week?

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:25

WeAreWarriorsWeAreWarriors · 25/02/2024 19:24

For the people that are saying they wouldn't leave their nearly 18 year old...

What would you do?

Not go on holiday? Get someone to babysit? Kick your son/daughter out of the house for the week?

I guess they can stay with friends, go on school trips, join their parents.

Tillycx · 25/02/2024 19:27

To be honest I would probably wait until their 18th birthday if possible

youngestisapsycho · 25/02/2024 19:29

Scaraben · 25/02/2024 19:24

I would. At 17 and 9 months I was off to university, and my 2 DNs are planning to do the same at that age.

Everyone keeps saying this… Living in university is completely different to being alone in, and having the responsibility of the family home.

Hellocatshome · 25/02/2024 19:29

Tillycx · 25/02/2024 19:27

To be honest I would probably wait until their 18th birthday if possible

What will change in the 3 weeks between when OP wants to go away and the teens 18th birthday?

saraclara · 25/02/2024 19:31

You're getting a friend to check on on him every day? Seriously?

There are plenty of young people within a few months of his age who go away to uni. There are very many who have left home to live alone under other circumstances. Yet you feel the need to have someone check on him when you leave him for ten days?

Hellocatshome · 25/02/2024 19:31

youngestisapsycho · 25/02/2024 19:29

Everyone keeps saying this… Living in university is completely different to being alone in, and having the responsibility of the family home.

Is it? Not everyone lives in halls at Uni. Some dont even live in flats with other students but end up living in bedsits/flats alone in a strange city and navigating starting Uni. OPs DS will be in his own house with an adult popping in at least once a day.

40somethingme · 25/02/2024 19:32

Yes we left our dd 18 for 9 days last year

NecessaryNC24 · 25/02/2024 19:32

BCBird · 25/02/2024 17:32

No I would not

WHAT.

Tillycx · 25/02/2024 19:32

Hellocatshome · 25/02/2024 19:29

What will change in the 3 weeks between when OP wants to go away and the teens 18th birthday?

Obviously if you don’t think your DC is responsible enough then don’t leave them e.g. learning disability or out in appropriate measures and even if my 23 year old needed me I’d be there straight away but on a legal basis leaving an under 18 year old is completely different to an over 18 year old

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:37

I am not sure you can legally leave a minor, and he is a minor until he is 18 - good point. You need to check. 10 days is a long time.

Hellocatshome · 25/02/2024 19:46

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:37

I am not sure you can legally leave a minor, and he is a minor until he is 18 - good point. You need to check. 10 days is a long time.

There is no legal or illegal age for leaving a child home alone.

K0OLA1D · 25/02/2024 19:47

I was living alone after 18, with my own cat!

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:48

K0OLA1D · 25/02/2024 19:47

I was living alone after 18, with my own cat!

Times have changed. Good luck with doing that now.

K0OLA1D · 25/02/2024 19:50

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:48

Times have changed. Good luck with doing that now.

My point was, I am sure the ops 18yo would be fine on their own for a week. Not that they should move out

Newchapterbeckons · 25/02/2024 19:50

K0OLA1D · 25/02/2024 19:50

My point was, I am sure the ops 18yo would be fine on their own for a week. Not that they should move out

It’s 10 days

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