If you are a second wife, do you expect to inherit everything from your husband?

[rickyrickygrimes]

… or do you expect him to leave something to his children from a previous marriage?

This subject comes up often on here: man is widowed, inherits everything from his wife, remarries, then dies - leaving everything to his second wife and his children inherit nothing.

this happened quite recently to a friend of mine, which not only did not inherit but also lost his livelihood as he was employed in his fathers business, which his second wife chose to sell as she wasn’t interested in running it.

I’m in France where (as I understand it) children cannot be completely disinherited from a will i.e. part of the estate is always reserved for children and the spouse does not inherit everything. This leads to some very complicated situations but does mean that all children will inherit something from their parents, no matter what the relationship between the parents / children is like.

we often hear from the children on here but not often the pov of the second wife. So I’m interested to know what you think? Do you expect to inherit everything from your husband (which is pretty standard between married couples in the UK)? Or would you expect his children from previous relationships to be included / recognised in his will - especially if he has previously inherited from their mother?

Do the situations is reversed in our house. I am the one with two dc from my first marriage, they are adults who live independently. Our will specifies Dh gets everything if I die - except a specific life insurance policy which is to be divided into 3, one third to each of my kids from first marriage, and one third to my child with current Dh.

Oh yes, i intend whatever i have to go to my children. In the event of home, i would do that clause where he can live there until death.

I expect DH to do the same. It would feel immoral and so wrong for some kids to get something and not others. I can't see any logical scenario where that is right.

But i would still do 50/50 if one child was NC. I promised myself i would give them equality till the end irregardless of circumstance. I gave birth with the best intentions for them, i will go out the same.

I do think it’s different if the first wife/husband has died, rather than divorced.

Inheritance is quite personal and family dynamics can vary massively from person to person.

Speaking as a step child I will say that when my DF passes away - if it’s before SM - then I don’t expect to inherent anything directly at that point. I would however like her to leave me something when they have both gone (if there’s anything left to leave that is!), as I have step siblings and there is always the risk that all the estate goes to the “new” family children I guess.

Me and my partner have agreed that the house and a part of the cash goes to each other and our kids (2 from his previous relationship and ours together) will inherit the rest of the cash and any other assets split.

I’m not a second wife but I just wanted to comment on your expectations in England that the second wife will inherit everything because I agree.

My parents divorced 35 years ago and neither of them have ever lived with anyone else or ever re-married. They’ve had serious relationships with new people but they never made the commitment of moving in with them or marrying them because they have both said they would never want to risk their property/money going to a new spouse / cohabiting partner over me and my sister.

My MIL died approximately 10 years ago and after three years my FIL met someone else and they began seeing each other and it did get quite serious. However, after two years together the woman suggested they move in together and FIL said he would never do that as upon his death he wants everything he has to go to his sons. She said they could put Wills in place and see a solicitor to legally protect a portion of his assets for his children etc but FIL said it was too complicated, too risky and he’d prefer to know that everything would definitely go to his sons without anyone else having any kind of claim over any of it.

She didn’t like this and ultimately ended the relationship. That was about 5 years ago and FIL has never started up another relationship for his continued reasons.

I do think there is an expectation from new spouses or long term cohabiting partners that they should inherit the house, asserts, money, pensions etc and I can see why many people are against it.

Its a tough one.

My husband died, left me everything.

When I die 60% of my estate goes to my kids, with my late husband.

30% goes to his kids from his first marriage. They will in turn inherit from their own mother.

I feel that's fair. My kids inherit from 2 parents his kids inherit in theory from 4 parents.

not a 2nd wife but if I was I would not expect it. However I have French family so culturally that’s the expectation. I was quite shocked to learn here that everything can go to the step children, I think it’s pretty abhorrent tbh.

As a single parent I’d protect any inheritance for my kids alone.

It’s not on the cards but if I did have a new relationship it would be on the clear understanding that my assets would be ring fenced for my children and I’d make legal arrangements to achieve that. If he had an expectation of inheriting my share he’d be sorely mistaken.

Well given our only significant asset is a shared house, yes I would expect to get that. When I die then it would be shared between both our DC.

I cannot understand why anybody would not leave all of their assets to their children but perhaps with a clause that 2nd wife can stay in the home until death. I also agree with PP that no child should be left out of a will regardless of how your relationship has gone with them. They didn't ask to be brought into the world in the first place and your duty as a parent is to protect them by whatever means. Leaving an unfair will could cause immense emotional harm with remaining family.

Yes. We've been married for a long time and don't have the sort of assets that would stand up to being shared with the next generation without impacting the quality of life of the surviving spouse. The children can wait.

This is interesting because obviously the issue starts when the first spouse dies and leaves everything to his/her spouse.

So the first question is ‘if you died, does your will leave everything to your husband (assuming you have only been married once, and there are children of that marriage).

My will does. Partly because he will pay no IHT, whereas leaving some to my children would suffer IHT (yes, I know there is the nil rate band, and the possibility of a life interest trust, but at the moment I want to keep it simple). But partly as my children are still young. He will need my money to stay living in our house and bring them up. (We do have life insurance but it wouldn’t cover everything).

I should probably change this when they are adults but that is a while off.

The Will is where this is sorted out.

In my case, my half share of the family home goes on trust to second spouse. The trustees must allow them to live in the property for life. On my death it goes in equal shares to our children. This asset is ring-fenced for the children of the second marriage.

My business assets go into a second trust. These are assets that have their origins before second marriage. From whatever value is realised from the sale of these assets, firstly a fixed sum will go to the children from my first marriage. The fixed sum is designed to be equal to the value of my half-share of our home. The remainder will provide an income for second spouse and then on their death to all children equally.

A third trust will hold my, or my share of, other assets and will provide an income for second spouse and then on death to all children equally.

My pension fund is nominated to pay to second spouse on my death then to children of first marriage.

These arrangements have been designed around values, respective ages of second spouse and children and to avoid a new 'future spouse' from sharing in anything at all.

I’m a second wife and I will initially inherit everything- it would be a bit weird for me to lose all our savings and home and be homeless … when I die his kids will get 1/2 the estate.

My dad has told us there will be nothing if he goes first. Everything will go to his third wife. No children with the second or third wife, just me and my sibling from his first marriage. His third wife has no children. Suppose it’s his choice. Once my dads current wife dies the money will pass to her side of the family (her sister, nieces etc)

This is what will happen in my family. My father died and left everything to his second wife with whom he had 3 children. In her will she is leaving everything to those 3 children. Me and a sibling from my father's first marriage will inherit nothing. Yes it has definitely fractured an already dysfunctional family afaic. I have the bare minimum contact with my step mother now.

I'm a first wife. My DH will states that the house and his pension go to me. The company which was put into a trust a decade ago is split between the children.

The problem comes when the second spouse is a lot younger. So when the parent dies, the second spouse getting a lifetime interest in the house means they could easily survive the children of the first marriage. Or in my late uncle's case his 4th wife - lifetime interest in the house - is younger than his grandchildren!

That is a problem, where the only asset is the home. Other assets allow further flexibility. Life insurance in favour of 1st kids should also be considered for a premature death. Otherwise helping them is possible only out of current resources.

We are both divorced two children each. We both put into our property and both worked for our assets (not much have to say). We have mirror wills where everything goes to whoever survives initially and when the other goes will be divided equally to the children. Obviously all the children will get something small after the first death. Only way to go for us. We would avoid giving any future partner any rights to protect this arrangement

This is my worst nightmare. My husband is quite naive I think so I plan to change my will so my half goes on trust. It means a change of the home ownership from joint tenants to tenants in common. That's the only way I can safeguard my half of everything so they get it if he remarried after my death and then died. Don't want the new wife getting her hands on my half.

Thats very sad. So your parents have never lived with someone or remarried and your FIL is deliberately single , so you and your dh can inherit. That's just so sad and unnecessary. If i was you id be taking them to a solicitor to draw up new wills so your portions are in trust.
Id hate to see my folks or inlaws living like that so i could get inheritance when theres no need to.

This is one of those situations where it’s very difficult for legislation to deal with every eventuality, especially as most of us write wills with the expectation that we will be old when they’re triggered and don’t think about what will happen if current partners remarry ( easier if the second or third spouse exists while you’re still alive as then you’re dealing with reality). For example, say I die tomorrow ( our dc are teens) and DH remarries-

• he could remarry someone younger, have more kids ( unlikely but you never know) and die when their kids are still v young and the wife is a SAHM.
• he could remarry, have a stroke and be cared for/ financially supported by his new wife for 20 years before dying
• he could remarry an heiress who has zero need for his pitiful assets 🤣

All these scenarios have different considerations in terms of what is equitable. You also need to consider that for the vast majority of people, the only significant asset is the house. If in scenario 1 above DH had a clause that forbade his second wife from selling the house as she only had a lifetime interest before it passes to the kids, that sucks if she’s only 35 when he dies. It’s too restrictive. Similarly in scenario 2, new wife would have been married to Dh longer than me and my dc would have benefited from her caring for him for decades.

Ideally people need to will their dc something directly but that’s only possible if they have sole assets. A lot of people don’t.

DH and I have mirror wills where assets are held on trust to our two children together at 37.5% and his two children with his first wife at 12.5%.

This is effectively my half split 2 ways and his half split 4 ways.

Surviving spouse has a lifetime interest in the house.

It can be a problem even when there are assets beyond the house. See @Gensola 's post- it would be 'weird' to her that her husbands children receive anything, even from the savings account, when he dies.