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Original poster

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

687 replies

Soubriquet · 21/02/2024 10:39

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

OP posts:
Selenitetower · 22/02/2024 00:26

13, almost 14 and to an 18 year old… so gross looking back on it now, thought it was such a flex to have an 18 year old boyfriend at that age. Far too young. However after losing my virginity him and I broke up (no surprises there) and I didn’t have sex again for well over a year.

Feb123 · 22/02/2024 00:29

20
and im surprised to see im not alone in being a late starter.

Garlickit · 22/02/2024 00:57

First PIV at 20, much later than most of my friends. I was born in the 50s and loads of my generation were having sex in our mid-teens.

I agree with PPs that virginity isn't really a thing to be 'lost' - it's an absence of something, and we don't usually talk about losing absences. I'd like the concept, and its trappings of virtue/value, to get in the bin right now.

x2boys · 22/02/2024 00:57

2under4 · 21/02/2024 21:47

I was 15, my DP was also 15 (but not each others firsts).

I'm curious with people who didn't lose it until their 20s or later - is it because you were waiting for marriage? Or just didn't fancy it? Or some other reason?

Well I was 18 so not 20,s but I didn't really have a boyfriend before that
Well I was seeing someone for.a few months about six months before but i suspect he didn't have a lot of experience either so it was pretty much a non starter
The boyfriend I lost my virginty too was a few months older than me and had ,had a long term girlfriend before me so Appearently experienced ( but looking back he had no idea so he wasn't really ) he was 14" when he lost his virginity Appearently but he's 50+ now and an alcoholic living wit his parents having never moved out so I don't think it helped him in any way

thebestinterest · 22/02/2024 00:57

I find this post incredibly triggering
and a bit unnecessary, tbh.

For someone who was sexually assaulted at age 5, I’ve always been angered by this question.

Bringtheweatherwithyou · 22/02/2024 01:00

2under4 · 21/02/2024 21:47

I was 15, my DP was also 15 (but not each others firsts).

I'm curious with people who didn't lose it until their 20s or later - is it because you were waiting for marriage? Or just didn't fancy it? Or some other reason?

Gosh no. Definitely wasn’t waiting for marriage. Marrying young wasn’t a thing to do either.

There wasn’t any peer pressure. I don’t know anybody in secondary school who was having sex, and if they were, they weren’t telling anyone. It wasn’t expected.

Getting pregnant would probably have meant not continuing with education, being a single mum and possibly being on benefits - and all three of those would have horrified us as secondary school kids.

There was an expectation that sex should not be pressurised, we should wait until we knew the person and/or until it felt right for us personally. Sex Ed. drilled it into us that we should never feel pressurised into sex. It was a mixed school so both girls and boys were taught the same thing.

Looking back it all seems a bit twee really.

It was our background and social expectations of us and for us I guess.

Sleepysleep19 · 22/02/2024 01:02

About 15 . Think my eldest 2 about 16 and youngest about 17 …not sure and not my business TBH .

Palindrone · 22/02/2024 01:04

At age 15 I recall the girls in my class getting changed for PE, the two class loudmouths approaching us one by one, scrutinising our bodies and demanding to know whether we were virgins.

All of us answered yes, much to the surprise of the loudmouths who both claimed to have lost it age 12.

Garlickit · 22/02/2024 01:06

There was an expectation that sex should not be pressurised, we should wait until we knew the person and/or until it felt right for us personally. Sex Ed. drilled it into us that we should never feel pressurised into sex. Same for me, at a girls' school.

I think I'd over-egged the "feels right" thing in my teenaged mind, and just never took it all the way with my boyfriends. When I finally did the deed at 20, it was what we'd now call a date rape. I wasn't hurt or anything, just really pissed off at his attitude. About a year later I discovered having PIV for fun, and really went for it 😆

OOBetty · 22/02/2024 01:55

On my 21st birthday

I’ve never asked dh or my sons but I do know one of the twins has at 19 as I heard them three floors down as I parked up to pick him up from Uni.😳🤣

OOBetty · 22/02/2024 02:00

Feb123 · 22/02/2024 00:29

20
and im surprised to see im not alone in being a late starter.

Edited

I have a male friend whose late 50s and still a virgin.🫤

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/02/2024 02:13

16 with my long term BF. We were each others firsts. It was far from perfect, but it was done with love and affection. I dont regret it.

My sister lost hers at 16 on a ONS to a total pratt she was at college with and regrets it massively.

Virginity is one of those things that you dont value until you have lost it.

Wornoutlady · 22/02/2024 02:18

I have to say (and someone else probably has already) "lost your virginity" sounds really archaic, like it's an actual "virtue" as opposed to just a bodily function. When did you "first have sexual intercourse" is probably the modern versus Medieval version.

I was 16, a few weeks short of my 17th birthday. I don't know how old my DH was, and my kids are 17 and 16 and have not done this yet.

Why is this even a question though, it's quite a judgmental thing.

Josette77 · 22/02/2024 02:27
  1. I was raped.

I would have waited much longer.

freddiestash · 22/02/2024 02:29

16 and exceptionally drunk.

Threeboysadogandacat · 22/02/2024 02:42

28, with Dh.

MelCakey · 22/02/2024 03:04

I was in love and we'd been going out for almost six months and we planned it all properly and were safe. No pressure at all.

I was 14 n he was 16.

We stayed together til I was 21.

libbylane · 22/02/2024 03:39

I've read a few bits of research that says statistically the age of first sex is actually increasing/getting older compared to 20/25 years ago.

13 is horrifyingly young.

Goinggreymammy · 22/02/2024 03:41

I think I was scared of sex. I had a few short term boyfriends and we did other stuff but I just didnt want to take that step.

I would hope my children wouldn't be afraid to enjoy themselves.
Looking at my username, no wonder I'm going grey with young kids.... I've left everything very late!

RiderofRohan · 22/02/2024 03:41

29 and I married him.

Pretty happy that I waited tbh.

Ooopsi · 22/02/2024 04:11

14! Which was normal for the area & friends I had.

Most of the boys in our large friendship group lost their virginity at 12!

TheTecknician · 22/02/2024 04:23

@Vettrianofan Relax! I wasn't at all upset. In fact, you're probably right with what you said. It was your refreshing frankness that astonished me!

TeaGinandFags · 22/02/2024 05:32

21

Then I married the bastard a few months later. (Still 21.)

DreamTheMoors · 22/02/2024 05:42

I was 15, but it wasn’t voluntary.
He was 55+, the perv.

Yellowdaysaregood · 22/02/2024 06:29

Seems like 15 is pretty much the norm, I was 15, my husband was 18 which I think was rather old especially in a man 😂