Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

687 replies

Soubriquet · 21/02/2024 10:39

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

OP posts:
Pigglyplaystruant99 · 21/02/2024 23:03

14, my first love, married him in my forties after first marriage ended. It was too young, though.

Ninahaen · 21/02/2024 23:03

DimplesToadfoot · 21/02/2024 22:04

5 :-( I'm absolutely disgusted and ashamed of myself, it was consensual, "I asked for it and I was a slut just like my mother". I never knew my mother

This is the saddest thing I’ve read on here. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Clearly there is absolutely no way in the world a 5 year old could consent. I really hope you get justice

Morewineplease10 · 21/02/2024 23:03

15 - far too young. I thought I was ready but looking back I wasn't.
He was 23 and very good looking so what he was doing with a naive school girl feels pretty grim in retrospect.

I hope my kids are at least 17.

DimplesToadfoot · 21/02/2024 23:06

@thaegumathteth

You've presumably been around 5 year olds as an adult. Do you think there's anythingthey could do that would it make it ok to have sex with them?

Of course I don't. But they are innocent children, I'm not, never have been and never will be innocent.

thaegumathteth · 21/02/2024 23:06

DimplesToadfoot · 21/02/2024 23:06

@thaegumathteth

You've presumably been around 5 year olds as an adult. Do you think there's anythingthey could do that would it make it ok to have sex with them?

Of course I don't. But they are innocent children, I'm not, never have been and never will be innocent.

But you were , you were 5, just like them.

DaSilvaP · 21/02/2024 23:07

Around 14 or 15, with a much older woman. Then I had the same regular girlfriend of my age for 2-3 years before moving out of town.

Crispedia · 21/02/2024 23:12

@DimplesToadfoot , I am so sorry and they were v wrong to say you were not abused. It’s horrific that anyone would sleep with a five year old. You have done nothing wrong and should feel no shame. The people who did this should be in prison.

Sufac · 21/02/2024 23:13

I think I was 16/17, wasn’t really bothered about it and just wanted to get it out the way. Never saw them again and didn't want to at all - it was a one night stand. I had fun, don’t regret it in the slightest. Went on to have great relationships and a few fun one night stands in between. Happily married with children and am very happy with my lot.

Mindovermatter247 · 21/02/2024 23:19

I was 16, DP was 13
dd 11 gets grossed out by anything like that, even people kissing.. I always say I’ll remind her of that when she gets a bf or gf..

smearymirror · 21/02/2024 23:20

13 and yes as others have said, way too young. I now realise I was groomed as it was a man who was 21.

My DD is 16 and to the best of my knowledge is a virgin. TBH my hope for her is not about age it's about finding someone who respects her and that she enjoys it.

fatphalange · 21/02/2024 23:25

Todayzname · 21/02/2024 22:38

There has been some mention about sex education in schools. So..

I was a form tutor to Jack (14). All off timetable. I was not doing sex education but y10 and Jack were.

So breaktime comes and Jack bursts into my room in floods of tears. Beside himself with upset. ‘I don’t want to do that’. ‘Not ever’. i was quite puzzled and not sure what he never wanted to do. His sobs made it hard to comprehend his real upset.

Turned out he never wanted to have sex. He was the sort of lad who’d put his hand up to answer any question, sit at the front etc. He’d managed to give himself a bit of over exposure and then over thought things.

So we decided…. He didn’t ever need to have sex if he didn’t want to - but he could do with knowing just in case. To sit at the back and keep his hand down.

Went to see his teacher - told him to not ask Jack anything or respond to any hand up from him.

The day went without further incident or upset. He was ok at the end of the day. He’ll be 22/3 now. And in answer to anyones wondering - Not a clue.

Bit weird.

DDSS · 21/02/2024 23:26

18.. I was the last one out of all of my friends. We’d finished school and I used to avoid the topic of sex at all costs for fear of it being mentioned! Looking back now it was stupid but at the time it was such a big deal. I threw it away to someone on holiday but it was the ideal situation for me as I could tick a box, move on and say I’d done it 😂

LouLou789 · 21/02/2024 23:27

15
I have two DS who talk to me about everything and they were 17 and 18

PaperDoIIs · 21/02/2024 23:40

14 it really really sucked and didn't get the hype so I didn't have PIV (did other stuff) again until I was 18. I really,really enjoyed myself for a few years after that.Grin

GrandTheftWalrus · 21/02/2024 23:41

I was 15.

JoanThursday1972 · 21/02/2024 23:42

18, my boyfriend who nagged and nagged me into it. Wish I had waited. (to find someone else more suitable). But the first 'encounter' I was 15, he was 28. I had lied and told him I was a student at university and was 19. I had been crazy about him for a long time. We just kissed and he groped me but he was naked throughout and he wanked in front of me. It gave me the creeps and he shortly afterwards dumped me for being a baby. I thought I knew a lot but all my knowledge was from J17 and Sugar magazine and I knew jack.

JoanThursday1972 · 21/02/2024 23:43

PaperDoIIs · 21/02/2024 23:40

14 it really really sucked and didn't get the hype so I didn't have PIV (did other stuff) again until I was 18. I really,really enjoyed myself for a few years after that.Grin

Was that a Freudian Slip?!

LittleGlowingOblong · 21/02/2024 23:51

That was too old. It was an emotionally traumatic experience and really upturned my life.
But at 20/21 I was doing everything except PIV sex and in fact that was pretty great. No fear of pregnancy etc.
Bloody religion though. Wish I could turn back time.

LittleGlowingOblong · 21/02/2024 23:57

2under4 · 21/02/2024 21:47

I was 15, my DP was also 15 (but not each others firsts).

I'm curious with people who didn't lose it until their 20s or later - is it because you were waiting for marriage? Or just didn't fancy it? Or some other reason?

I thought it was because I was waiting for marriage but in hindsight my parents’ slightly dysfunctional and quite alcoholic relationship probably played a considerable part.

oakleaffy · 22/02/2024 00:01

20

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 00:09

From reading some of these I'm glad of the local culture where I grew up and went to school. There was no peer pressure. If you were in LTR and 17/18 it was presumed you were sleeping together, if not, it just didn't really happen. Not once in all my school years did someone ask me if I was a virgin. I have no idea when my friends or sisters lost their virginity. I'm noting the language of a lot of posters here talking about getting it over with or wanting to lose it. It's sad it's seen as some sort of status and not a normal aspect of a romantic relationship.

Bringtheweatherwithyou · 22/02/2024 00:10

I was 23. Definitely older than my peers who were 19+

I think 13/14/15/16 is incredibly young.

I hope my kids will be in uni.

grumpymummy72 · 22/02/2024 00:10

Just 14 and a one night stand with boy of same age while drunk. Wished I had waited for my first love who I met a few months later. DH was at uni. DS15 is now with his first proper girlfriend of same age so expect will be sooner rather than later.

Palindrone · 22/02/2024 00:23

2under4 · 21/02/2024 21:47

I was 15, my DP was also 15 (but not each others firsts).

I'm curious with people who didn't lose it until their 20s or later - is it because you were waiting for marriage? Or just didn't fancy it? Or some other reason?

My DH says the reason he didn't lose his virginity until he was in his 20s was that he looked very young for his age so he lacked confidence in approaching women.

I know of several couples who lost their virginity late because they were waiting for marriage. None of them are together anymore.

My dad was 25 when he lost his virginity to my mum, upon their engagement. Both of them had been in other relationships before this but the fear of unplanned pregnancy (back in the days when the pill wasn't readily available) had scared them out of taking it further.

BarbieDangerous · 22/02/2024 00:25

15, a few months before I turned 16.

My little sister is 16 next month and the thought of her having sex makes me so worried. I really hope she doesn’t feel pressured to do something so serious especially with just anyone:(