How old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Soubriquet]

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

Well, life perhaps has that rosy, nostalgic glow for some of us. Bully for you.

This is the reality of my life, and for me it wasn't so rosy. I will decide how I respond to this reality. I had that experience imposed on me: I don't now need 'instructing' by strangers how to think or feel about or articulate that experience in a further form of imposition.

I wrote about my experiences above out of a desire to help others, or empathise with others who may have gone through similar experiences.

Well, as they say, no good deed goes unpunished. I sorely regret making that post. And patronising me with twee little 'x's doesn't diminish the sheer offensiveness of your responses, especially when it's already been indicated once that they were not welcome.

Really, how fucking dare you.

22 to exdh
Dds 19 and 18

I was 17, with my first long term BF. He was a few years older and I think lost his at 15. That was early 80s.

DH - not sure. 17/18 ish? - he was very green until he left school and went to work with a bunch of older blokes who taught him about wine, women and song......

Both my younger sisters lost theirs at 14. But I lived in a rural backwater and went to an all girls boarding school so there was no temptation or pressure (or opportunities). One DSis went to a mixed day school, the other to a girls day school but in a city where there was a lot of socialising.......

My DCs are nearly 16. Luckily DD thinks the whole idea of exchanging bodily fluids is totally gross, and is not into boys (or girls) at all. Long may that last.....

DS would love a GF but has autism and ADHD and all the girls at school think he's a bit weird. Breaks my heart - but hopefully that will change in a year or two, meanwhile I don't have to worry about teenage pregnancy on either front.

13??? Wtf

So sorry to hear that.

was 17 when I popped the cherry and 43 when my only dc was born.

I was 15. Ds1 was 18 (he’s still with her at 21). Ds2 is 17 and hasn’t. I actually think the average age is increasing? And there’s certainly more awareness now about consent / grooming which is a good thing.

20, to long term boyfriend at college.
Had a couple of really short term relationships after we split, then met DH at 24, and never looked at anyone else after that.
DH and I were together for 49 years, he died 6 years ago next week.

That's not what I was saying at all. x Sorry to upset you. x

I've experienced multiple rapes and stuff so I do understand.

My first time wasn't rosy- just a bit 'meh.' Consensual but not with the bloke I was actually in love with; on the rebound to numb the pain.

I was 19. DS I think 17 although may have been 16. DD is 18 and hasn’t had sex.

18 .DIdn't want to do it at all. Know better now.

Appalling post. How dare you tell someone how to process their rape?

37 - it is as a cause great upset for me on my late 20’s and 30s . But the wait is as definitely worth it- I would have made a terrible choice of a bloke earlier!

That's not what I meant by it. I think it's important to see non-consensual sex as not 'losing your virginity,' for the sake of all the CSA victims that go round thinking they're no longer virgins.

I mean, people can look at things in a depressing way all they want but ideally reframing it might be more helpful. IDK whether that works or not.

EMDR is the best therapy for all sorts of trauma.

@SerafinasGoose thank you
@porridgeisbae there is no ‘nicer’ about it.

33, on honeymoon.
DD20 was 15, non consensual and man went to prison for that and other offences.
DS19 had just started seeing first girlfriend in last couple of weeks
DD17 had not had a boyfriend yet.
We have encouraged them to not see it as just a recreational activity, but something meaningful to be shared with someone they really care about.
We have also been clear, especially with DS that sex can lead to pregnancy and if a girl chooses to keep the baby, we would expect him to support it for life.

I decided when, where and to whom. There was nothing passive about it.

17, I didn't even really want to lose it but everyone else had and it seemed old

I think it’s important to understand that you don’t have the right to comment on what would be “nicer” in terms of other people’s trauma.

15, but did other stuff earlier. No harm done, it’s human nature.

I'd like to thank you for these posts openly, not simply by ticking a button at the bottom of your screen.

20. But I'd been experimenting in private with various sex toys for many years before that. I was just too shy and self conscious to have actual sex.

I am sorry that you experienced those awful things and I am in awe of your bravery and eloquence in speaking up. Reciprocal .

This is a weird old thread, isn’t it?