What's the latest you'd have a baby?

[worrywilma]

I'm 37 and ideally I'd like to wait another year before trying for our first baby. But I'm fully aware that time is not on my side!

My career has only just started to take off......oh to be 28 again 🥴

I know millions of people have their first in their late thirties, but I also know a lot of those people wish they had started sooner.

I'm in a pickle.

I had mine at 21 and 23 and I knew I was very much done after dc2, but a friend of mine had her first at 40 and flew through her pregnancy and had no problems getting pregnant. That's not the case for all of course.

I work with a few women who are now in their 30s and are planning for their first in the next few years.

It's all down to you and if you're at a time in your life when you are ready for a baby

28/29 was my cut off point.

I had mine at 32,34 and 37. I wish I had them 5 years earlier. I’m now exhausted.

My cut off point to start trying was 30. My cut off point for stopping would be 42. I think that would be my limit. I'm 40 now and so tired these days.

Fwiw I had dc1 at just turned 31, so exactly as I'd planned it. My career is not great though! So swings and roundabouts. If I'd waited, I'd probably have had different opportunities careerwise, so I do see the argument for waiting.

Probably about 9pm as I'm knackered by then 😂

I’m pregnant with my first at 36. I’d ideally like 2-3 but the benefit of having waited is that both if our careers are doing well so we will be able to pay for more help, classes etc so for me I’m glad I waited. I think it’s a really personal decision in what’s right for you.

I had mine at 31 and 33 and deciding factor for me is if we want a 3rd I’d like to be pregnant before I’m 35 - DH is 3 years older than me and his cut off is baby born before he’s 40, so there’s a wiggle room of a couple of years there too.

That said I am the youngest of my close friends to have babies and almost all of them now will be having kids post 35, so there’s nothing hard and fast about it - it’s what works for you. My cut off is less about my age and more about when I want to be done after 4 years so far of changing nappies and night wakes! If I wanted kids and hadn’t had any, I think I’d be happy to go up to 40.

I had DD at 37 and I wish it had been younger. It's OK for now but it will be harder to be as involved a grandparent as my DM was. Ideally I'd have had her at 32-34.

In your shoes I wouldn't wait any longer.

I'm glad I had my first at 30 as I was done by 34. I work with someone who had her first at 38 and as she had a second she will be in her 60's before they finish university. I'm very glad we didn't wait any longer.

I had my first at 31. I'm glad I had him then as I do find it all a little exhausting at times. We were at a bouncy castle place for 4 hours recently and I said to DH I'm glad we weren't any older as I wouldn't have been able to keep up! DS is 2 now. Of course it isn't always possible as life can work out differently for everyone. I reckon no later than 40 for me. I'm hoping to have a 2nd when I'm 34.

You'll get a wide range of answers here OP - someone on a similar thread said before that women who had kids relatively young and say they can't imagine having a baby at an 'older' age say this because they are mentally/emotionally out of that stage themselves (as opposed to there being some objectively 'too old' age). I am late thirties and would hate to be having my first now but that's only because I already have my kids- if I didn't then I'm sure I'd feel up for it, as late 30s really isn't old. This is all a long- winded way of saying you do you OP and don't have any regrets! Good luck!

I'm 37 and have one. If I was you (and really really wanted a baby) I'd get on with it NOW!

It could happen immediately - it could take years. Another year won't feel worth it if you have problems.

My cut off is 39 - latest 40 to give birth.

I wouldn't let age put me off for as long as I was biologically able to have a baby, but I wouldn't plan to have a first baby after about 35, assuming I was in a place to have one earlier.

In fact I kind of wish I'd had my first at 25, because my life now in my 50s would be easier

But if conditions weren't right to have a first until over 40 say, I would still try for a baby at that age, but you have to accept that fertility is dropping for many women at 40, so you might not succeed

You'll get a wide range of answers here OP - someone on a similar thread said before that women who had kids relatively young and say they can't imagine having a baby at an 'older' age say this because they are mentally/emotionally out of that stage themselves (as opposed to there being some objectively 'too old' age).

This is so true - huge amount of confirmation bias on these threads!

I had my second at 37 but was unable to fall at 40 - I’d not wait

Also this. As someone who had them younger I couldn't imagine having a baby now (I'm almost 34)

I’m an ‘old’ 32. So I wouldn’t leave it much later, personally, maybe 37.

I had 4 kids by 29. I didn't want any past 30. I'd have probably had one up to about 40 if I'd had problems conceiving before calling it a day.

I would also suggest a fertility MOT if you haven’t had one - it doesn’t give you guarantees but helps to know your current fertility.

40....but only if it was my first baby

For me, 33 or 34. I don’t want school age children in my 50s.

I had my first at 36, second at 39. I feel like I did it 'just in time' as I definitely felt more tired with the second. I've been struggling a bit recently with peri symptoms (I'm 46) and I couldn't imagine feeling like this with small children to manage. Although my kids are still just 7 and 9, it's an easier age.

I had my last at 35. I wouldn’t leave it any longer if I were you depending on how much you want a baby. Second and onwards babies are easier to conceive in your late 30s, first babies seem to be harder to conceive later on.

I became a mum at the age I was ready and best placed to be a good parent. For me it was at 45 and again at 46. I worry that I might not be around for them as long as I would have if I’d become a mum in my 20s, but equally we are much more secure now, I don’t need to work full time and I have bags more patience. It’s swings and roundabouts. DH and I (now 52 with a six and seven year old) doing stand out in the playground. At least a third of the DC’s classmates have parents of a similar age to us.