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What's the latest you'd have a baby?

244 replies

worrywilma · 14/02/2024 18:45

I'm 37 and ideally I'd like to wait another year before trying for our first baby. But I'm fully aware that time is not on my side!

My career has only just started to take off......oh to be 28 again 🥴

I know millions of people have their first in their late thirties, but I also know a lot of those people wish they had started sooner.

I'm in a pickle.

OP posts:
CJ4713 · 14/02/2024 19:34

Asking randoms on MN is completely irrelevant OP to your own body.

I started TTC age 32, AMH above average for my age and no fertility issues found. We TTC 12yrs, lost 3 and had rounds of IVF. No living children.
IF you really are willing to wait even longer, get a fertility MOT including AMH and your partner a semen analysis- you will likely need to pay privately. It will give you a more measured idea of your egg count, and might highlight any other issues.

fightingthedogforadonut · 14/02/2024 19:35

Had mine at 39.

In an ideal world I'd have had him between 30-35 but life didn't work out like that.

DramaAlpaca · 14/02/2024 19:36

I had my three at 29, 30 and 33.

My personal cut off was 35.

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StrawberryEater · 14/02/2024 19:44

Just wanted to say I’m sorry, @CJ4713. That sounds so difficult. All the best.

PastorCarrBonarra · 14/02/2024 19:45

I had my DCs in my early thirties. My cut off was 35 or thereabouts, but if I’d had no children because I hadn’t met my kids’ dad, it would have been 45 or maybe a little older. I wouldn’t have given up hope of a baby until it was pretty much physically impossible, because I really wanted to be a parent.

You have a partner though. At 37 with a partner don’t be hanging about! Unless deep down … you don’t really want a baby. In which case, you and he need a conversation.

DriedFlowersLiveForever · 14/02/2024 20:00

26 but I had two and was done!
Probably 35 if I hadn't had my children when I did.

Chanhedforthis · 14/02/2024 20:11

35 for me

Jules912 · 14/02/2024 20:20

35 for me but I had my two at 30 and 34, I may have felt differently if I hadn't had any by then.

WoodsTreesWhere · 14/02/2024 20:25

I was you @worrywilma at 36. Wasn’t completely sure, thought I was ok for time.

Four years, two rounds of failed IVF, a termination due to a genetically abnormal baby, and I have just been lucky enough to get pregnant just before my 40th birthday.

If think you want it don’t wait. I thought it would be fine.

Redlarge · 14/02/2024 20:25

32

OooohAhhhh · 14/02/2024 20:27

I was 36 & 40.
I had lots of issues/losses when trying for my first, but none with my second.
I would definitely start trying now, as things don't always go according to plan.

Moveoverdarlin · 14/02/2024 20:30

I had mine at 35 and 38 but that was after years of trying, years of IVF. Personally I think you’re mad to wait. I started trying at 32. Took 3 years.

In an ideal world I would have had mine at 33 and 35.

abblesandbears · 14/02/2024 20:31

I was 29 and 32, I don't plan on anymore so I guess my cut off is 32!
However, if we had more help and money I'd have a third for sure, and I'd say I'd want to have given birth by the time I was 35

user1469770863 · 14/02/2024 20:31

WafflingDreamer · 14/02/2024 19:13

I had kids at 31, 32, 33 and 37. The last one was not planned at all and I must say I notice the difference, although to be fair I am probably about 4 stone heavier than when I conceived my first. We really thought a lot about having the last one but our first passed away and we didn't feel like we could do anything but keep them but that was probably my limit in terms of age

💐

HamHand · 14/02/2024 20:36

I had my last at 36, having had my first at 20. Mine achingly tired in a way I just wasn’t with the 3 I had in my 20s. I pretty much weaned her from the breast and went straight into peri menopause which I didn’t see coming at all. If I had my time again I’m not sure I’d have had her, and to my mind 36 was still young. Just 4 years on and I feel I’ve aged about 20 years!

guessmyage11 · 14/02/2024 20:36

35, as you are then classed as a geriatric mother by the NHS. I had my first at 28 and 2nd at 33 x

SarahAndGoose · 14/02/2024 20:37

JDJT · 14/02/2024 18:58

I had my first at 31. I'm glad I had him then as I do find it all a little exhausting at times. We were at a bouncy castle place for 4 hours recently and I said to DH I'm glad we weren't any older as I wouldn't have been able to keep up! DS is 2 now. Of course it isn't always possible as life can work out differently for everyone. I reckon no later than 40 for me. I'm hoping to have a 2nd when I'm 34.

Really? I'm late 30s now now and only feel fractionally less physically fit than in my early 20s and attribute that to the fact I have children now and less time to stay fit, not my age. I was recently at a trampoline park with a mum who'd had her daughter 10 years later than I'd had mine and she was just as able to bounce about as me. I'm not sure when you're 36 or 37 you'll feel any different to at 31.

YukoandHiro · 14/02/2024 20:38

I had mine at 35 and 38. I'm almost 42 now and utterly shattered. I wish I'd started earlier. Unless you're very wealthy it's going to trash your career whenever you do it

ThisIsOk · 14/02/2024 20:39

Me and DH said 35 would be the latest age we would have a baby.

Frogger17 · 14/02/2024 20:39

Not past 8pm.

Pineapplewaves · 14/02/2024 20:43

Only you can decide how long you want to wait - I had my first at 40 and second at 43. I'm 48 now and would try for another but DP says no and I agree with his reasons!

Dacadactyl · 14/02/2024 20:45

The latest I'd have actively tried for a baby would've been 30. Had one at 21 and one at 26.

If I got pregnant now at 38, or even at 50 or 51, I'd still be having a baby....just not one I'd planned for.

WithACatLikeTread · 14/02/2024 20:47

worrywilma · 14/02/2024 18:45

I'm 37 and ideally I'd like to wait another year before trying for our first baby. But I'm fully aware that time is not on my side!

My career has only just started to take off......oh to be 28 again 🥴

I know millions of people have their first in their late thirties, but I also know a lot of those people wish they had started sooner.

I'm in a pickle.

I would get on with trying for a baby. Started trying at 25 and took nearly five years. You might be luckier obviously.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/02/2024 20:48

My cut off for having my last was 30. I’m pregnant with DC3 and I will be 30 a few weeks after he is born.

However, my reasoning for this is that I was 19 when DD1 was born and 26 for DD2 and didn’t want to be having babies well into my 30s. I’d like some time child free with DH before we’re too old to enjoy it.

Openingmyeyes · 14/02/2024 20:50

I felt a huge difference mentally and physically between my first at 24 and last at 30.

Career wise, it did not hold me back. My oldest is 10 and I earn 6 times the amount I was earning before I had him