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Original poster

What's the latest you'd have a baby?

244 replies

worrywilma · 14/02/2024 18:45

I'm 37 and ideally I'd like to wait another year before trying for our first baby. But I'm fully aware that time is not on my side!

My career has only just started to take off......oh to be 28 again 🥴

I know millions of people have their first in their late thirties, but I also know a lot of those people wish they had started sooner.

I'm in a pickle.

OP posts:
IneedhandcreamandaNC · 14/02/2024 21:18

9pm. I don't like to stay up too late

Porfirio · 14/02/2024 21:19

I was 32 when I had my last and that was ideal for me. I would not have wanted to be a much older mum.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 14/02/2024 21:20

I had mine at 41 and would have gone to 45. No regrets. I'm a much kinder, more patient, confident, happy, time-rich, financially secure parent than I would have been at 31.

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MadeForThis · 14/02/2024 21:20

I had my first at 35 and second at 38. Very average among the kids primary school class parents. Several are still having kids at 40+.

I didn't meet DH until I was 29 so that changed things. If we had met younger we would definitely have had another one or even two.

Cancermummy · 14/02/2024 21:22

I wanted to have finished having my children by the time I was 30 and definitely before 35. My mum had children later and it's a shame I won't get as much time with her. She's closer in age to my husband's grandmother than his mother and I didn't want that for me. To each their own though.

TwistedCable · 14/02/2024 21:23

If you want a baby then try now. Time is not on your side.

i had dd at 38, sort of by chance, and would most certainly not have wanted to be older

SarahAndGoose · 14/02/2024 21:30

bottomsup12 · 14/02/2024 21:09

If you want them start now, everything else in life can wait but once your biological clock stops you could end up regretting it for another 40 odd years!!
Never know how long it will take you to fall pregnant and your fertility starts dropping off cliffs from around 32 .... (average obviously not all)

I've never seen anything that suggests fertility drops off a cliff at 32. Do you have a link? Everything l've seen suggests more like 39.

bradpittsbathwater · 14/02/2024 21:32

Awaywiththeferries123 · 14/02/2024 19:24

I started trying at 38 and it took 4 years and 7 miscarriages before I had my baby. Pregnancy was a doddle but we can’t try for a second

My friend started trying at 39 and nearly 3 years in hasn’t had so much as a sniff of a positive test and IVF has failed. At 37 I would not be waiting.

Edited

Yes I agree. I had my son at 35. Since having him I've had 2 miscarriages and now pregnant for the 4th time. Not sure if this one will work out. I'm 39 now. Getting pregnant is no issue but I have a lot of other issues. I'm not sure it's age related for me but I'm running out time really

bradpittsbathwater · 14/02/2024 21:33

I don't feel old and tired though at 39!

IfYouDontAsk · 14/02/2024 21:35

I wouldn’t rely on a fertility MOT; they’re not the be all and end all as CJ4713 has very sadly shown (I am so sorry for what you’ve been through).

If you really want a baby then I really wouldn’t waste time waiting around for the fertility MOT test results; fertility sadly doesn’t care about when we’ve reached the best time in our lives to have a baby in terms of housing, career, husband.

user146990847101 · 14/02/2024 21:37

For me, 30 as my parents died young and i wanted to do everything to avoid that happening to my children. Perimenopause started late 30’s and menopausal by early 40’s so probably just as well we got on with it!

Waitingfordoggo · 14/02/2024 21:37

I had mine at 28 and 30 and that was right for me but you’ll get a range of answers. 35 or thereabouts would have been my cut-off point I think (but if circumstances had meant that I hadn’t had one by 35, I daresay I’d have wanted to still try and make it happen.) I’ve come into perimenopause reasonably early and can’t imagine having younger children now. I’m just too knackered and grumpy 😂

I lost my parents fairly young (35) so was glad my parents got to meet my children. If I’d left it later that might not have happened.

Obviously everyone’s circumstances will be different but that’s how things worked out for me.

harenern · 14/02/2024 21:43

I had my 3rd at 42. In the past I'd put my limit at age 40, and we had stopped "trying" by that point, but continued not to use contraception but no other tracking or effort. We let nature decide and we were lucky to have dc3. We would not have considered using ivf or any other interventions. Now I do feel done and I have a coil fitted which will stay in until I'm past the menopause.

It's not an ideal age and I wish we'd been able to have had dcs younger, but the actual day to day parenting is fine and I seem to have it easier than most.

PointyMcguire · 14/02/2024 21:45

I had DD at 35, and am about to turn 37 and have just started to try for #2. With hindsight I wish I could afford to have more of a gap, but I’m conscious it might take a while to get pregnant, if it happens at all so don’t really feel comfortable delaying trying. In an ideal world I’d like to be done by 38, but we’ll see.

110APiccadilly · 14/02/2024 21:46

I don't have a cut off as such, but if I were over 35, hadn't had a child and knew I wanted one I'd not be waiting to start trying, if that makes sense?

Yes, lots of people have babies well into their 40s, but it's not a given.

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 14/02/2024 21:48

45

Baguetted · 14/02/2024 21:50

Had my 3rd at 32

having 3 teens/uni/alevels/GCSEs and peri menopause is quite tough

if I had 3 under 10 now I would be quite short tempered unfortunately

cadburyegg · 14/02/2024 21:56

I was 27 and 30 when I had mine, I'm 36 now and don't feel any more tired now than I did back then. I don't want anymore but if I did I would probably keep trying until was 40

Hibernatalie · 14/02/2024 21:57

I was 33 and 35 and that felt good for us.
However, had things been different I would have had them later. I'll be 41 this spring and am feeling at the end of the reasonable age to have a child.

Cheshiresun · 14/02/2024 21:57

39

That's the maximum age giving birth, not being pregnant.

That was my cut off age when I was undergoing treatment for years and knew we might have never become parents. As It happened I was several years younger, thankfully.

blondie877 · 14/02/2024 21:58

22 (2 months off 23) and 28. I felt the difference in energy levels! Always thought I'd be done by 30, but was widowed at 30. Now 37 and would consider a 3rd if I met someone

MaryActsLikeSheDontCare · 14/02/2024 21:59

I wouldn’t delay it at 37.

Hibernatalie · 14/02/2024 22:01

thiswaytosaturn · 14/02/2024 20:59

Women who reach age 30 without a child -only up to 50% will ever have a child

Please don't keep putting it off

What a load of bollocks. Sorry but literally all of my friends had their kids in their 30s.

Cheshiresun · 14/02/2024 22:03

I was always aware age of giving birth 35+ is classed as "geriatric pregnancy", "elderly primigravida", "advanced maternal age".

Not referred to now as much as it used to be, still see it referred to lots in work though.

Groovy48592747 · 14/02/2024 22:10

Age 34 max. I never wanted to be an Elderly Primigravida!

Age 35+ is mentioned for valid reasons.