How much alcohol do you and/or your partner drink?

[Dancinggirl84]

Genuinely interested to know what is considered 'normal' in terms of alcohol consumption. How much do you drink each day? Do you drink every day? Do you think you drink a normal amount/more than others/less than others? I don't think I drink a lot; I have maybe one or two glasses of nice red wine with a meal once a week, so max of four units per week. DP will have a beer as soon as he gets in from work, large glass of wine with evening meal, another beer or two, then often a whiskey etc later in the evening. More at weekends. I'm aware I drink a lot less than most of our friends. I'm just worried that hubby is drinking far more then the recommended weekly guidelines (14 units), and also that he drinks every day. His drinking increased over covid. I've tried talking to him about it but he just brushes me off and says it's normal. One week I noted down everything that he drank and worked out the alcohol units, it was 84. I showed him and he was very angry that I had been watching what he drank but he did agree that it was too much and cut down for a while. But it just crept back up again. The last couple of years he has done dry January and he seems so much healthier and happier when he isn't drinking. It also saves us a lot of money! This year he said he wasn't doing dry January but he wouldn't drink every day of the week (part of recommended guidelines) which seemed a good idea but he hasn't managed to have an alcohol free day at all. There's always a reason why he needs a drink: bad day at work, children are being annoying etc. We've just been away for a weekend, he drank all the beer and wine we'd brought with us in the first two nights, we were staying out in the sticks and he insisted on driving forty minutes to the nearest shop to buy another bottle of wine. I'm worried that he can't go without alcohol, and may be veering into 'functional alcoholic' territory. He thinks I'm overreacting and most people drink like he does. What do you think?

I'm sorry you're in the same situation, I know you will be doing what is best for you and your children. I won't have any hesitation in doing the same if there is no change.

Thank you for this and well done on your sobriety. I think it's the fact the DP doesn't seem to be able to manage without alcohol, as well as the amount, that worries me. I hope he will change but as you say it has to be his decision.

That sounds good, thank you, I'll look them up.

2/3 beers or glasses of wine once or twice a fortnight. Then a proper night out every three months maybe?

We don't usually have alcohol at all Monday-Thursday unless a special event. Tend to have wine with meals on a weekend (1-2 bottles over the 3 days between 2 of us) unless we are out, in which case beers

I know what you're saying, I have worked with families who have experienced DA too. Genuinely DP is a good dad: he plays with them, does homework with them, reads them stories at bedtime, makes time for them and is affectionate and loving with them. He isn't angry or abusive, he doesn't behave 'drunk'. He isn't abusive with me either. I worry that his drinking will increase and cause health issues and/or change his behaviour. At the moment it isn't noticeable. One of their school friends has parents who have recently divorced and they've been talking about how 'x' has two houses and doesn't see his Daddy as much and they've been very vocal that they wouldn't want that and they like us all living together and having Daddy to tuck them into bed and to wake up to etc. Like I said previously, if I felt it was in their best interests to leave then I absolutely would. And I'm very mindful that time may come if he doesn't decrease or stop his drinking, but we're not there just yet.

Zero. I have an alcoholic mother and my partner is a Muslim.

Peri menopause has removed the upside of drinking for me, so I now don't drink at home at all. Only when out in evening which is c once a month. My DH used to drink like your OP. He's been teetotal for 6 months and is much much healthier and slimmer. I'd suggest you focus on the health worry not the alcohol. Ie for a man your age the heart and liver risk is huge if you continue like this...how can I support you to reduce this. He'll know its too much (my DH did) but he said he was finding it hard to care enough to take action.

We don’t drink at all. Gave up 4 years ago and never looked back.

Op if you are worried about his health, aren’t you concerned about him being morbidly obese? The alcohol needs to reduced for sure, but his weight seems to be quite a significant problem too.

I probably average 5 drinks a week. DH is similar. We don't drink mid-week but I'll normally have two G&Ts on a Friday night and then split a bottle of wine with DH over the weekend. Possibly a bit more in the summer e.g. having some beers in the garden.

My rules (for myself) are to not drink Mon-Thu and no more than 3 alcoholic drinks at home on any given day. I would say our intake is the higher side of normal when compared to friends and family.

The alcohol will be a contributing factor to the obesity.

Yes of course but the obesity is like the elephant in the room - it was mentioned and it’s a significant problem but alcohol is the focus, what about sugar, plastic fats, processed foods, lack of movement, mental health. Cutting back on booze is not the magic bullet - if health is the concern so much more needs to change.

Maybe the OP just wants to tackle so many things at a time. The alcohol is often very much linked to lack of movement too and poor food choices .

It’s a good place to start IMO when you’re drinking 84 units a week. In addition to all the excess calories that will be contributing, some research suggests alcohol can also impair your ability to burn fat.

Depends on what the issues are and we don't know - best for the OP to find out the source of the over-eating and the over-drinking. Plenty of obese tee-totallers who are eating their way to an early grave, the obesity is being overlooked here, mention alcohol on these boards and everyone starts foaming and this thread is no exception.

It’s just the way threads go - people would be making a lot of comments about his weight if OP was focusing on that too in the initial post. But she highlighted the alcohol so people responded accordingly.

And btw plenty of thin alcoholics drink their way to an early grave.

Yes, they should definitely look at the root of any and all addictive behaviours her husband has.

I’m just saying is I can see why Op is focusing on his alcohol consumption before addressing any issues she has with his diet - at least to start with.

But to start with it might be easier to convince him to move a bit more and moving his body will have a significant positive impact on his health. Movement is the best medicine.

Your husband has a problem and he's drinking way too much. The fact that he can't go without should really be a wake up call. A lot of people drink too much, doesn't make it normal. Your husband has a problem, the bigger problem will be getting him to acknowledge it. Maybe you could start by giving up first?

My husband doesn't drink at all - I might drink once or twice a year but not one bit bothered if I don't.

At this point in my life, it doesn't interest me and I hate hangovers.

Maybe easier ,maybe not. Depends on the individual. Could possibly be done in tandem with reducing alcohol intake as well, so I guess it’s not necessarily an either or.

I just hope for OPs sake her husband gets a grip of it because 80+ units of alcohol per week is far too much so I can see why she’s alarmed.

Thank you, really nice to hear that your DH managed to stop drinking. I've tried the health route. DP will acknowledge that he drinks too much but won't/can't change.

I drink most nights, when I usually drink a lot the next day I drink lots of water a 1liter, or maybe more,as it's the best thing to detox your liver, also mostly I eat before I have a couple of drinks. If you know you drink a lot, drink lots of water as it's good to clean your liver. People in this forum say like 3 or 4 bottles of wine a week it's too much, I know people who drink a bottle of wine every night and they are healthy people, they have done test on their liver and the doctors told them their liver is normal

I have a bottle of wine a month roughly. More if it’s friend’s birthdays but often I’m driving or on call for work so stick to 0% gin.

These threads do tend to go the same way. Lots of posters say they drink nothing or very little and I think that puts off regular drinkers from posting as they think it makes them look ‘bad’. So I don’t think it’s an accurate representation.

I have a glass or two of wine 4-5 nights a week with dinner. I do go above 14 units but am healthy. I think!