How much alcohol do you and/or your partner drink?

[Dancinggirl84]

Genuinely interested to know what is considered 'normal' in terms of alcohol consumption. How much do you drink each day? Do you drink every day? Do you think you drink a normal amount/more than others/less than others? I don't think I drink a lot; I have maybe one or two glasses of nice red wine with a meal once a week, so max of four units per week. DP will have a beer as soon as he gets in from work, large glass of wine with evening meal, another beer or two, then often a whiskey etc later in the evening. More at weekends. I'm aware I drink a lot less than most of our friends. I'm just worried that hubby is drinking far more then the recommended weekly guidelines (14 units), and also that he drinks every day. His drinking increased over covid. I've tried talking to him about it but he just brushes me off and says it's normal. One week I noted down everything that he drank and worked out the alcohol units, it was 84. I showed him and he was very angry that I had been watching what he drank but he did agree that it was too much and cut down for a while. But it just crept back up again. The last couple of years he has done dry January and he seems so much healthier and happier when he isn't drinking. It also saves us a lot of money! This year he said he wasn't doing dry January but he wouldn't drink every day of the week (part of recommended guidelines) which seemed a good idea but he hasn't managed to have an alcohol free day at all. There's always a reason why he needs a drink: bad day at work, children are being annoying etc. We've just been away for a weekend, he drank all the beer and wine we'd brought with us in the first two nights, we were staying out in the sticks and he insisted on driving forty minutes to the nearest shop to buy another bottle of wine. I'm worried that he can't go without alcohol, and may be veering into 'functional alcoholic' territory. He thinks I'm overreacting and most people drink like he does. What do you think?

I don't drink anything at all.

Your husband is drinking way too much and sounds like he's in denial.

I'd say he's definitely on the road to alcoholism (over 300 units a month is more than my previous alcoholic partner was consuming).

Don't drink alcohol at all, neither does anyone in my close family. Alcohol killed my poor mum

Op one glass of wine is not one unit. A standard glass (175ml) is 2.1 units.

We drink once or twice a month, sometimes nothing. It depends if we go out.

I used to be quite a big drinker - 3-4 bottles of wine a week I would guess - but I just went off wine as I approached menopause for some reason. Now I just drink when I'm out. Maybe a glass of wine with a meal, or a few pints now and again in the pub. It's a good job I went off it really as wouldn't have cut down otherwise.

Your husband is probably already a functioning alcoholic. He really needs to have at least a couple of alcohol free days per week.

It's difficult to get accurate statistics on how much people drink, as for obvious reasons people tend not to be honest when asked.

Most of the replies on this thread have been people who hardly drink at all, but I whole not saying this reflects society very accurately.

My husband and I are now totally sober, but used to drink too much. We only drank in the evenings, but it was nearly every evening. Never too hung over for work or anything like that - but still too much, and it was having negative effects on both of our lives. But in some ways it's easier to see that now we are sober!

Loads of my friends I suspect either drink every night or most nights. And pretty much every Friday and Saturday they really binge and are hungover the next day. But they consider their drinking to be within the normal range.

I understand why your husband doesn't want to be labelled as having a problem - there is a lot of prejudice out there about it - the idea that everyone who has ever had issues with alcohol is a lifelong alcoholic, and thus a selfish liar who is not to be trusted, is one you hear on this site quite a lot, for example!

But it's actually a very old fashioned way of thinking. Lots of people now are realising that many of us (from all walks of life) struggle with alcohol (or other addictions) at one time or another, and are healthier and happier sober. We don't need to be stigmatised and "othered" into some species of monsters, just because we have drunk too much at one period in our lives! Alcoholic drinks are designed to make people want to keep drinking them - there is no great and secret shame in succumbing to that - SO many do - but you do of course need to try your best to sort it out when you realise you have a problem.

I hope you can encourage and support your husband towards sobriety, OP. He will, as you say, be so much happier and healthier if he makes that choice. I wish you the best of luck with it.

DH and I share a bottle of red wine on Sundays with lunch, have 1 or 2 Friday night cocktails each and otherwise only drink if friends come over maybe once a month or 2 months at most. Then I might have 4-5 drinks, he's more likely to have 6-8 but these will be home made cocktails (not the sugary kind) or wine, never any beer.

We don't drink much. Only socially usually, like if we go out for a meal or have friends over for dinner. Occasionally the odd glass of wine if I've cooked something special.
I think your DH is drinking a dangerous amount to be honest. He could well be approaching alcoholism. My ex was an alcoholic. I lived through it for 9 years. It was hell and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make him stop. There's no reasoning with an alcoholic.

I don't really drink. Never know how to describe it!
About once a year I have a blow out and drink a lot on a night out. Maybe a cider once a week in summer
Haven't had any alcohol since Dec 2022

I ditched someone over drinking, he thought 1-2 bottles of wine every single night was ok

I ha e not had a drink since between Christmas and New year a d that was only one pint.
At home we have one coffee in the morning and then have pints of water during the day.

I drink a few times a year, I have 2 glasses of champagne. My husband is much the same.

I used to drink way too much in my 20s and early 30s, though I was never a daily drinker. I can still put away a lot on a special occasion, but I rarely drink more than about 4 units a week these days, and never on more than 2 days a week. Dh drinks quite a bit more than me. Probably more than is ideal healthwise, but not remotely dependent. He rarely drinks more than 2 days a week either.

My mum was abit of a snob and made me think drinking alcohol in front of your kids was for 'common' people. I've never seen either of my parents drunk, so I grew up thinking adults never get drunk in front of children, (though one glass at a time is ok). As a result I don't drink in front of the DC, I have a Baileys on a Saturday when they're in bed twice a month. I don't like wine. I had my first Dc at 37 so got all the wild nights out drinking out of the way first. DH is TT, never even tried alcohol.

If your husband already isn’t a functioning alcoholic, then I don’t know who is.

I know. I said I drink one or two glasses of wine, which would be max of 4.2 units. I rounded down to 4.

I don't drink at all and DH will have one drink on a Saturday every now and again!

I don't drink at all.

Dp had maybe 1 or 2 beers a week

We used to drink more before we had children. Now we will generally only drink if we're going out somewhere and I would maybe share a bottle of wine with a few friends and have a cocktail and my partner would probably drink a bit more. We did start getting a bottle of wine to have with dinner on a Friday or Saturday but it would end up with half a bottle being wasted so we don't really bother now. All of my friends who don't have kids definitely drink a lot more than I do.

If he can’t/won’t go without alcohol for a day, he has a problem.

Thank you. I completely agree that he is in denial.

I don’t drink at all for health reasons. My DH rarely drinks, but he used to. He definitely drank too much at points, but has now cut right back. Your OH is drinking way too much.

I did dry January and now tracking units on the app. Managed 0 units in January easily and actually enjoyed it. Didn’t want to give up though so back on it in Feb Definitely need a reset as I had what seemed to me to be a very restrained / quiet drinking week for me last week and it totaled 20 units over 4 nights.

Thank you for your comment. DP is never hungover in the morning either and functions perfectly well. Which in itself is worrying given the amount he consumes! I had a good few years of being a heavy drinker, uni and early 20s, which I think was fairly normal at the time so I completely agree with you about people going through phases of heavy drinking in their lives. I wish he would let me support him towards sobriety, or at least reducing his alcohol consumption but he doesn't agree that it's a problem.

Doesn't really help the OP with her questions!

I drink a bottle of wine over two nights probably once a fortnight. I'll have a night out with my friends every three or four months where I'll drink far more (but never to the point I'm hammered) but that's about it. My husband doesn't drink at all.

In a previous relationship my ex would drink a full bottle of red wine every single night (and was always drunk by the time he finished it) except on Fridays when he would go out and get absolutely legless with his friends and come home a mess, slurring, falling about the house and covered in takeaway food. I was absolutely miserable by the end and left him. That was over a decade ago and as far as I know he's exactly the same now.