How much alcohol do you and/or your partner drink?

[Dancinggirl84]

Genuinely interested to know what is considered 'normal' in terms of alcohol consumption. How much do you drink each day? Do you drink every day? Do you think you drink a normal amount/more than others/less than others? I don't think I drink a lot; I have maybe one or two glasses of nice red wine with a meal once a week, so max of four units per week. DP will have a beer as soon as he gets in from work, large glass of wine with evening meal, another beer or two, then often a whiskey etc later in the evening. More at weekends. I'm aware I drink a lot less than most of our friends. I'm just worried that hubby is drinking far more then the recommended weekly guidelines (14 units), and also that he drinks every day. His drinking increased over covid. I've tried talking to him about it but he just brushes me off and says it's normal. One week I noted down everything that he drank and worked out the alcohol units, it was 84. I showed him and he was very angry that I had been watching what he drank but he did agree that it was too much and cut down for a while. But it just crept back up again. The last couple of years he has done dry January and he seems so much healthier and happier when he isn't drinking. It also saves us a lot of money! This year he said he wasn't doing dry January but he wouldn't drink every day of the week (part of recommended guidelines) which seemed a good idea but he hasn't managed to have an alcohol free day at all. There's always a reason why he needs a drink: bad day at work, children are being annoying etc. We've just been away for a weekend, he drank all the beer and wine we'd brought with us in the first two nights, we were staying out in the sticks and he insisted on driving forty minutes to the nearest shop to buy another bottle of wine. I'm worried that he can't go without alcohol, and may be veering into 'functional alcoholic' territory. He thinks I'm overreacting and most people drink like he does. What do you think?

Since being diagnosed diabetic, my tolerance for alcohol is zero, it makes me feel absolutely horrendous. However, I grew up with an acoholic grandfather, and both of my uncles had massive heart attacks in their 40s due to their drinking - one survived, the other didn't. In all seriousness, talk to Al-Anon. They are there to support you and how you deal with your reaction to his addiction.

Just remember - you can't stop him. That can only come from him, and no amount of ultimatums/pleading/arguing is going to make him choose you all over a substance he's physically dependent on.

I used to drink much more in my 20’s but a serious health problem meant I stopped drinking full stop for round a decade. Now it’s when I socialise, and am not driving so that’s not often, as I often drive. I never get drunk these days, 2 glasses is plenty for me in one sitting.

i’ve got old school friends who still drink to excess, literally one can easily drink 3 bottles on wine in one sitting. I do worry about them as they are not doing their health any good and the one who drinks the most, both her children have been raised sitting in the pub on a Saturday afternoon kind of thing. Interestingly her daughter who has 3 kids of her own now doesn’t drink much and not round her children, but her sons only 14 so who knows what will happen. Your DH is drinking too much, he needs a couple of alcohol free days. If he’s obese too he needs to cut down, lose some weight and get fitter

I don’t drink as it gives me problems with my nervous system. After one sip of alcohol I get a cramp like feeling in my body and very flushed cheeks

DH has a few whisky and cokes of a night once every couple months- maybe a busy or fun weekend he has a treat. Takes ages for him to get through a bottle

I have 2 bottles of wine a month max, usually 1 though as I don't like cheap wine and really have to be in the mood or it goes to waste.

Exception to the above is a Prosecco bottle between us on Valentines and anniversary.

DH and I have one G&T whilst cooking dinner, maybe 2-3 times a week. Will then have squash with meal and a cuppa later on before bed.
On a Sunday we may have a couple glasses of wine with our Sunday meal, which we always sit down to as a family & I think it's OK for dc to see a sensible & responsible alcohol consumption.
I get really bad anxiety when I drink to the pint of being drunk, plus I'm into fitness & feel rubbish in my body the next day. I do really enjoy that one G&T or Sunday glass or 2.
Your DH drinking habits sounds v. Similar to my close family member's, I feel for you. It's worrying & frustrating when they tru and normalise the amount.

My DP has a G&T and I have a V&(d)C every evening while we watch the news and then a glass or two of wine (him white, me red) with dinner and while watching TV afterwards. He's nearly 70, I'm 60 and we are both very active and healthy.

Op I am sorry you are having to ask this . My exh started off much like this and when I left him (during lock down he was drinking 20-30 units a day as standard and sometimes more. He will need more and more alcohol to get the same hit. This will also be the reason he doesn't get hangovers.
My advice is go to or log into an online al anon meeting. They are for family and friends of alcoholics. You are allowed to set boundaries and stick to them.
Be aware that if you mention it too much he will become more secretive with his drinking. Addicts lie, mainly to themselves but to everyone else too.
Be kind to yourself. Don't stress about the future.
Hugs to you.

I used to drink every night, for years. Lots of binge drinking and heavy nights too.

Massively cut down 18 months ago. Now have less than 7 units per week.

I'm shocked about how little people drink on this thread!

Yes your husband is drinking too much OP but he needs to reach that conclusion on his own and want to change. Sadly it doesn't sound like he does.

My stepfather was an alcoholic, the only time I drank quite a bit was when I was a student. I have seen what it does. He died aged 49 and my Mother had a breakdown. He had a very responsible well paid job, no one really knew.

We are going out on Saturday with friends, DH will have a couple of pints with his curry, I’m designated driver so nothing for me. Last time I drank was Christmas and NYE. DH will have a couple of beers on a Saturday evening and very occasionally a glass of wine when I’m cooking with wine in the week, so not often at all. In the summer months I may have a G&T as does he in the garden before dinner at the weekend. We are very light drinkers.

I don't drink much at all. Probably at social occasions like a glass of wine every couple of months or so. Partner drinks less than that. Probably a few times a year with his mates.
We have a young child and a hangover with a 2 year old sounds miserable haha! But just not too fussed about drinking.

I am the same as you hun. X

Unfortunately dh gets cases of incredible vintage wines gifted to him by companies at Xmas. He doesn't drink so that leaves me.. I try to only have a glass when I've taken the trouble to prepare a really nice meal.. but that could be 3 times a week!

He may well not be within legal limits to drive if he's drinking so much, especially on heavy evenings. He may still have too much alcohol in his body if he drives the next morning eg. if he does the school run or drives to work. If you and the children are passengers he's putting you at risk. If he's driving over the limit, he's putting everyone at risk.
One of the reasons I quit alcohol completely several decades ago was that I was often the only driver in a vulnerable living situation and I knew that if there was an accident we would not be able to guarantee getting help from the emergency services quickly. Once I'd quit, I decided to stay stopped and have never, ever regretted it.
I think nowadays we are all becoming more vulnerable in terms of accessing emergency help - anyone watching programmes about ambulance services can see how stretched they are and if it's possible to drive someone into A&E then that might be the only option. In my opinion, staying under the drink-drive limit at all times makes sense.

I was a binge drinker from about age 17-30. Regularly drank way too much. Only when I was going out, I've never been keen on alcohol with food or just a couple at home.

I then met my husband when I was 30 and he isn't interested in drinking at all. It was a relief for me as I was tired of the binge drinking and hangovers.

These days I have the odd sip of fizz on a special occasion if other people are but I can only manage about half a glass. Probably less than 5 times a year. My husband is the same.

Zero. Neither of us. We enjoy alcohol free.

We don’t drink much. Not drinking at all at the moment & my husband drinks on average a beer every couple of months. Very rarely drinks at home.

Last time I had alcohol was in 2021. My boyfriend drinks once a week - a few pints.

You say he might be veering into being an alcoholic, I’d say he’s already there!

doesn’t want to stop/can’t stop. He’s angry when confronted.

cut your losses

I rarely drink, DH has a cider or a beer occasionally. We have alcohol in the house but quite frankly I can take it or leave it. I never feel the need to have alcohol.

I don’t drink at all and haven’t since 2019. DH has a couple of beers at the weekend with dinner. If he was drinking every day (and it wasn’t because we were on holiday or something), I’d definitely say it’s at least the beginnings of a problem.

Hi Op, i barely drink, maybe once a year. Im with you- hangovers and kids dont mix!

my DH is a big drinker too like your husband and ive just filed for divorce.

i started like you, noticing he drank too much, asking for opinions on here, realising he was drinking too much, making notes of how many units per week. When i spoke to him it was absolute denial. That sent him underground. He started sneaky drinking where i knew he was drinking, could see it in his face/he got grumpy yet I wouldn’t see a drink/cans. Ive just had enough now. Im half way through my life and not living like this anymore. You need to consider you and the kids here

Barely anything these days. Peri-menopause has wrecked my ability to drink. Had two glasses of wine on Sunday and that's the first drink I'd had since NYE.

DH might have a glass of red wine in the evening occasionally. And a Sunday pint in the pub.

We both liked to party a lot in our youth but alcohol doesn't seem important these days

I drink occasionally. So I'll have a glass of wine or 2 at a celebration. I'll buy a bottle of Disarrano or Bailey's for myself and my DP over Christmas. I usually have Bucks Fizz for breakfast on Mother's day. Occasionally we have a pub lunch and I might have a glass of wine. I also enjoy the odd cocktail before dinner when on holiday. So I can go months without. Last time I had a drink was New Year's Eve. My DP probably drinks similarly if not less than me. I also have a 16yo who I've not given alcohol to.

Me and DH don't drink at all Mon-Thurs on a normal working week. Fri and Sat we'll have a G&T and then work out way through a bottle/bottle + half of wine per night. I might have a single glass on a Sunday night with dinner if there's anything still open to use up but otherwise I won't.

Sorry to answer the rest of your question.

I think I drink less than the average person. I do think many Brits have issues with drinking too much. Although less so than it used to be. Your DH is drinking way too much! Up to 10 units per day!