Does every seem to have anxiety now?

[Bondibeechtree]

Is it just me but does everyone seem to have anxiety these days? I don't know if it's just my friends but I'm finding it pretty draining now and then I feel guilty for finding it draining. It's not their fault for having anxiety.

Examples:

1. Friend rang me at 3.45am crying and struggling to breathe with work anxiety. She needs to get signed off but won't as she's too anxious about letting people down. She barely sleeps and isn't coping.
2. Friend #2 messaged last week to say her dog had run away and she'd had to run after her. All fine and caught within a minute. She'd come home and was shaking and was actually sick. My own dog does stuff like this occasionally and I'd barely even see it as an event.

There's loads of other examples but it's got me thinking about whether anxiety is everywhere or whether it's my friends. How can I support them without it draining me and making me feel like things are only a 1 way street?

No, not everyone does.

I really wonder whether it is a combination of post lockdown effect and also the 'always on, always stimulation overload' reality of modern life. Our minds need boredom and calm to relax.

Also, do they drink alcohol? I have had to almost stop as I realised that on an ongoing basis it was making me very jittery and anxious (I.e. not the next day but just in general)

I think the general state of the world contributes to anxiety. It's the knowledge that we are powerless to fix things. There are wars, climate change, political incompetence and a lot of poverty and violence in society.
Then the little things, that we would normally take in our stride, can sometimes be the last straw.

But I have those same pressures 🤔

They do drink but I don't get the feeling they drink a lot.

Anxiety must have always existed, but up until recently people didnt talk about having it. So probably a lot of people didn't seek a doctor's diagnosis, didn't know there was a name for what they were feeling and struggled in silence.

Now the taboo is broken and people are more willing to describe themselves as feeling anxiety. Probably not all of them will meet the threshold for a medical diagnosis, but even so there is a name to describe how they feel.

I definitely think that modern life contributes. Many people never really switch off. There are emails and teams messages pinging in 24/7 even when you're not supposed to be working. Kids now have holiday homework. Presenteeism is rife and people feel they have to be seen to work longer and longer hours. They feel they have to be up and out every weekend ferrying their kids to clubs and experiences to give them an edge against others. You have to look younger, be thinner, eat more healthy, exercise, have a spotless house, socialise etc. Straight A kids who also excel at music and sports. Websites and influencers everywhere telling you how wrong you're getting it. It's non stop. Previous generations worked hard but it seems life was (generally) much more compartmentalised, expectations far lower and rest was accepted as a need. If everyone was fed and clothed, the bills were paid, kids doing ok in school and the house was liveable you'd made it.

But we all have modern day pressures don't we.

Bring anxious about certain situations is normal and a defence mechanism we have built in but I think some of the time people read this as having Anxiety.

for instance they are anxious about a job interview but most people are and this is normal. This can then escalate and people just then get anxious about getting anxiety and spiral.

We need to practise more resilience in a lot of situations so we cope better ourselves and live a normal life. I really don’t like crowds and do have certain physiological responses to being in a crowded situation that I need to manage but I don’t have Anxiety.
To be clear I do believe that some people have proper uncontrollable Anxiety but a lot of people are fine, they just find certain situations stressful which is normal.

I've been anxious since I was a child. I probably just didn't recognise it as 'a thing'. As an adult I manage it better than I did as a teenager partly because I recognise it and I talk freely about it. Just because people talk more about it, it doesn't mean it wasn't there before.

No. I don't. I worry about stuff at 3 am the same as everyone but I am functional.

We do, but we don't all have the same mental capacity. Some people get anxious more easily than others.
A lot has to do with your innate character and your upbringing.

I think their is an element of modern life but I also think it's something that always existed.
I recall my Granny talking about someone struggling with their nerves, I'm sure that would now be called anxiety.

Back in the day people had an OK standard of living, decent housing, decent jobs, they weren't rolling in it 1 week UK holiday was the norm. One phone in the house was standard.

Life was simple. You'd never dream of calling someone in the middle of the night unless it was a serious life / death emergency.

There does appear to be a bit of an epidemic yes.

It seems to have started getting more prevalent when more parents had to go out to work and children spent more time in childcare. Not saying that's the cause, just saying they happened around the same time.

I'm struggling to find a way to say this without sounding unkind, but i think telling yourself you have anxiety (because it's ''ok'' now) isn't always very helpful.

I've noticed a massive rise in 'anxiety' 'depressed' 'ADHD' 'ASD' and 'ND', but only in some cultures like the UK

I prefer to tell myself that nearly everybody is anxious about big events like exams, job interviews, large parties, meeting strangers and so on. This doesn;t mean I have anxiety. It's normal.

I think many normal conditions are over pathologised these days.

Anxious. Overwhelmed. Broken.

These words crop up a lot in MN.

I don't doubt some people genuinely suffer however a lot, I think, just give into things, lack resilience and then throw a label on it without making an effort to just deal with everyday stresses and strains that affect everyone.

@Lentilweaver yes! exactly.

It's normal to have feelings. Good ones and bad ones. It doesn't mean you've 'got' something which makes you odd or weak or at some disadvantage to everyone else.

Well yes an awful lot of people are struggling with this. Part of my job is assisting people to claim disability benefits and the vast majority currently are for anxiety/ depression etc. It does very much seem to be on the rise. Out of our office of around 7 staff, at least 3 have anxiety that affects their daily life / causes them to be on medication/ take sick time off regularly etc.

I think somewhere along the line the positive change towards recognising feelings and making some allowances for them, (in school/the workplace ect) has morphed into 'Having the feelings means you're exempt from carrying on as normal and now officially have feelings which mean you can't'.

iykwim?

Yes every other person seems to think they have ADHD right now .

I think you are just better than your friends, well done.

All those things have *always8 existed in my lifetime. Its no worse now then it was.

Looking at the people I know with anxiety they don't actually have any big problems to contend with. They have safe loving homes, jobs, homes etc. Its more a reaction to nothing like their brain overacts.
I agree its probably being "on" all the time but without any real threats.

I'm not sure about alcohol. I drink loads but it doesn't make me anxious because I am not inclined to be anxious. I am a procrastinator and I use it as a tool to avoid actually having to do things.