Does every seem to have anxiety now?

[Bondibeechtree]

Is it just me but does everyone seem to have anxiety these days? I don't know if it's just my friends but I'm finding it pretty draining now and then I feel guilty for finding it draining. It's not their fault for having anxiety.

Examples:

1. Friend rang me at 3.45am crying and struggling to breathe with work anxiety. She needs to get signed off but won't as she's too anxious about letting people down. She barely sleeps and isn't coping.
2. Friend #2 messaged last week to say her dog had run away and she'd had to run after her. All fine and caught within a minute. She'd come home and was shaking and was actually sick. My own dog does stuff like this occasionally and I'd barely even see it as an event.

There's loads of other examples but it's got me thinking about whether anxiety is everywhere or whether it's my friends. How can I support them without it draining me and making me feel like things are only a 1 way street?

It seems the vast majority of posters on Mumsnet have Anxiety, Depression, Autism or ADHD. At least from the OPs I click on.

It's kind of replaced OCD.

You used to hear a lot of people saying ''Oh i'm so OCD, me ...''

I think people get confused between anxiety and an anxiety disorder where the symptoms are much more debilitating and severe.

My DD has diagnosed General Anxiety Disorder. It has had a massive impact on her life, messing up her education, her social life, and her independence.

Separate to this she feels normal anxiety around exams etc.

She is/was less resilient than some of her peers due to ACEs and some SEN.

But in some ways she is the most resilient, as she is fighting this and slowly but slowly winning.

Wow. I never said that at all. Don't be so bloody awful.

Yes it certainly runs in our family. My Grandma had a very nervous disposition, anxiety etc but then didn't have a particularly happy home life either. My mum then also went on to have lifelong problems with depression, anxiety, could just never really cope with an adverse situation. I think there just wasn't the label put on it in the past, people didn't go to their GP's for it, it was just seen as more of a personality trait than an illness. I look back at how my mum was and wonder why there was never any financial help for her like there would be now as she could probably have never really held down a job, but people just didn't claim for mental health back then like now.

🙄

You sound like Eyore. No one has said anyone is better than anyone else except you!

I don't and nor do most people I know. One of my friends does but that's it.

Everyone experiences anxiety-inducing incidents during their lives. Your friend whose dog got lost experienced one such incident.

But, experiencing an anxiety-inducing incident like that isn’t the same as suffering from an actual anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are ongoing medical conditions that can be diagnosed and hopefully successfully treated.

I'm still getting over the fact that anyone thought it was ok to phone you at 3.45am because they were crying and panicking. You are saintly to have a) answered the phone and b) not told them to get a fucking grip!

I can't believe the selfishness of someone who won't get signed off because they are stressed - and I do get that, many of us have been there - but thinks it's ok to dump the burden of their anxiety onto others. You honestly can't support someone who carries on like this without them being a massive drain on your own wellbeing.

I missed that your friend called you at 3.45 am. I would NOT be happy with that unless for an actual emergency like assault, burglery, stranded somewhere unsafe etc.

None of my friends are that anxious. Some are anxious about certain things, like taking the Tube. So they take a cab. But they don't make it my problem.

In previous times you could get valium and sleeping pills on repeat from the GP.

I do think our natural resilience to everything is massively eroded over the last 100 - maybe even 50 - years.

We don't even get a little bit cold anymore with central heating & winter jackets, let alone go hungry or experience actual threat. Most of us are (on a global level) spoiled & pampered, so the smaller things become big things.

I suspect if you're busy worrying about getting your kids safe clean water, you have less time to panic about shopping at Lidl (not being snarky - Lidl makes me panic at rush hour) or losing the dog for 3 minutes.

OP, you're just more resilient. Many be you're more outward looking than inward? Maybe you have naturally repressed dopamine?
Who knows, it's all luck of the draw.

I said the other day nobody seems to be diagnosed with depression any more whereas at one time it was fairly common. It’s all anxiety now

Yes they bloody do . It's becoming ridiculous.
Why don't people function anymore .

Yes they are, what a ridiculous thing to say. (My DD has both).

We have just been through a pandemic. It is not surprising there are more people with MH issues than previously. Especially as NHS MH services are the poor relation.

I read something the other day about how to send texts to a person who is anxious. At least ten commandments starting from don't use abbreviations to don't say you need to talk to them or some such...

I have no time for all that personally.

Yes, very limited resilience in a lot of people these days to get on with things that are just part of the shitty side of life. Death, illness, money issues, job issues, my parents and grandparents had them all and worse but remained upbeat regardless.

The pandemic started 4 years ago.

I have GAD. It's debilitating at times and I have undergone a lot of CBT and medication for years.

I have never called my friends up in the middle of the night or told them about times when I've been crying and shaking because of my anxiety attacks. Partly because I'm so anxious about people finding out and thinking I'm lying/exaggerating and it affecting my friendships.

I think it's very easy to overlook anxiety because people overuse the term.

Oh dear. Are you really that judgemental and dismissive of others? You really don't sound very empathetic at all. It's as though you think that your friends are just being weak matured and overreacting.

They don’t need to. There’s an awful lot of safety nets out there and low expectations of adults.

I'm not dismissive at all. I spent an hour on the phone with the friend I mentioned as I didn't want to leave her until she had stopped crying. I have been incredibly supportive to my friends (not just the ones above) but there's only so much 1 person can shoulder when all the same pressures face me too e.g. I'm getting made redundant.

“Highly strung “ my granny used to call it

Ditto re ADHD. My son recently did his exams and he said tons of his class had extra time to complete. It seems to be the new 'thing' to have.