Does every seem to have anxiety now?

[Bondibeechtree]

Is it just me but does everyone seem to have anxiety these days? I don't know if it's just my friends but I'm finding it pretty draining now and then I feel guilty for finding it draining. It's not their fault for having anxiety.

Examples:

1. Friend rang me at 3.45am crying and struggling to breathe with work anxiety. She needs to get signed off but won't as she's too anxious about letting people down. She barely sleeps and isn't coping.
2. Friend #2 messaged last week to say her dog had run away and she'd had to run after her. All fine and caught within a minute. She'd come home and was shaking and was actually sick. My own dog does stuff like this occasionally and I'd barely even see it as an event.

There's loads of other examples but it's got me thinking about whether anxiety is everywhere or whether it's my friends. How can I support them without it draining me and making me feel like things are only a 1 way street?

I’m diagnosed with GAD and Asperger’s. Some of us have more sensitive nervous systems. Twenty percent of the population are highly sensitive (although many people on here dispute this) although obviously everyone is on a spectrum for sensitivity. It’s pretty obvious that I’m wired differently because my startle reflex is embarrassing and I scream at the lightest thing, like someone tripping! I can’t stop it happening.

A lot of it is modern life and being bombarded with news and people’s opinions constantly. It’s all the noise, rushing, lack of family support, lack of social safety net, too much responsibility, lack of proper ambulance service, not knowing how long we’ve got before climate change really kicks in, threat of war etc.

Anxiety has always been around, but it was called 'struggling with nerves.' Most people hid it with drink, cigarettes and hiding away at home.

I do believe that 24 hour rolling news has increased stress levels and social media has destroyed our ability to relax and has generated a constant twitchy feeling. It doesn't help anyone, but especially those who are prone to anxiety anyway.

I also think that there have always been people with these issues - I remember my nan being described as 'suffering with her nerves'. She was on Valium for donkeys years. But MH was stigmatised and people feared the effect on their jobs or ss taking their kids, if they went to a doctor. So they didn't - they self medicated with alcohol instead (mother's little helper?)

But I don't think everyone has it and I do believe that we've forgotten that some situations in life are meant to feel stressful, that some anxious feelings are normal and we believe that any feelings of anxiety are abnormal and a sign of a MH issue.

And some people are just more resilient to normal stresses than other people.

Lot of wimps out there with a lot of first world problems to be honest.

Well you have smugly told us that you don't have anxiety so you've answered your own question.

I think anxiety has always been around. My mum used to say "she's bad with her nerves" about quite a few people back in the 80's which I guess was the old way of saying someone was suffering with anxiety.

I think I have always been an anxious character. I constantly biting my nails , always worrying and ruminating over one thing or another. Keep myself awake for stupid reasons ruminating on stuff.

I've been diagnosed with GAD and PTSD. I have good periods and dreadful ones. Suspect I'm my own worst enemy though because I struggle to stop so I pile more and more on until I can't cope anymore. I know my childhood is responsible just as it's responsible for my need for perfectionism but stopping the cycle has proved trickier.

Anxiety has always existed. People just share and talk more and accept it more. It used to be that you didn't talk about it, and just got on with it.

Yes, I agree. Anxiety is a given. What changes is how well (and what resources we have) for regulating and easing it.

I think in your position I'd fall back on giving my friends my pov and wider perspective. Panic attacks end and dogs home. Look into mindfulness.

I think because people are encouraged to talk more about mental health, hot topics like anxiety seem to be everywhere. Not necessarily a bad thing. Especially if you have ever suffered from it.

I would say if you have never suffered from it then count yourself lucky.

I've experienced it a couple of times in my life (job stress / family stress) and I remember having so many scary physical symptoms like heart palpitations and churning stomach/ tearfulness/ dread/ fear. It was really scary at the time. What I have come across is so many high functioning adults who seemingly have it all put together can behind the scenes actually be really suffering from anxiety and they mask it well.

In my circle of friends the ones constantly talking about having it day in and out...actually use it to describe life's ordinary every day drama. So I think anxiety means different things to different people and is massively misunderstood because it has become a buzz word.

I think modern life is very anxiety inducing for a lot of people, especially with the social media culture we live in.

You're right though it is very draining if someone you care about has it and won't seek help or support for it, you can become a coping mechanism for them whether you signed up for it or not and that is draining.

I think we think as a society and world we have become much more understanding / open / accepting of mental health but in reality I think there is still a long way to go but I do think the over use of terms nowadays isn't helping either.

imo @ssd the only people who don’t get anxious in new situations are psychopaths, but lots of people are better at hiding their feelings than others, doesn’t mean they’re not feeling it. I hate turning up in new places alone. I worry about practical stuff like parking etc but everyone who knows me would describe me as confident as I try to ignore those feelings because sensible me knows it’ll be fine.

No, it's not everywhere, and none of my friends has ever once claimed to have "anxiety" - not even the one who has a terminally ill child and a sick husband.

People have always been anxious however, that is a perfectly normal thing - but like so many other feelings these days it has been put on steroids and become anxiety.

I think the general state of the world contributes to anxiety. It's the knowledge that we are powerless to fix things. There are wars, climate change, political incompetence and a lot of poverty and violence in society.

The general state of the world hasn't changed much in my entire lifetime, the majority of people I know just carry on the way they always have done.

Whilst anxiety seems to be on the increase, resilience appears to be going the other way!

I've been anxious since I was a child. I probably just didn't recognise it as 'a thing'. As an adult I manage it better than I did as a teenager partly because I recognise it and I talk freely about it. Just because people talk more about it, it doesn't mean it wasn't there before.

I feel the same and have always struggled with anxiety which often makes me feel unwell. There are some things I avoid due to it but most things I just push on through. I don't feel like everyone has anxiety though. Those without it definitely outweigh those that do or at least most people are more resilient to it.

In my normal life I don't know anyone who can't function because they have let their thoughts rule them, it seems a lot on here but that seems to be forums I guess

What I won't put up with is anyone asking unreasonable things of me and I have change things because people can't cope with their own thinking, but thankfully I must only know rational people as it is yet to happen

I genuinely believe it's connected to smartphones

But not everyone has anxiety …..

The combination of those pressures, an individuals own brain-wiring plus the more common knowledge about mental health issues are going to see a surge in people being honest about how they feel and whether they can cope.

You’re not “better” than anyone else just because your brain is wired differently, meaning you’re water off a ducks back when someone else would be anxious or upset by it.

I’ve also pondered whether it’s smartphone withdrawal. I’m just as bad as anyone, I feel a bit on edge if I don’t have it and constantly check it without even realising. It’s quite scary

I do think people had some pretty significant issues in the past but people didn’t label them.

If you look at suicide rates it shows that people have been suffering from mental health issues for a long time. According to one study that I read, they were particularly high in the 1930’s for both men and women, and female suicide rates peaked in the 1960’s.

They also used a lot of opiates in the Victorian era. Which suggests people weren’t without their anxieties.

We all worry, its life. But now people like to label things, like a trend. A colleague of mine has body dysmorphia. Another new thing. Never in before 10am as mornings are stressful as she is worried about the way she looks. Leaves well before her 7:24 is worked but has an agreement with HR and our line manager and she works what she can. Makes a mockery of the system. Really CBA with all this farce.

we all have worries but people are taking the piss

I think in some people there is a genetic component. My Nan on my mums side was anxious, in later years refused to leave the house. My mum had depression. My brother has been signed off work for anxiety for the last few months. All ended up on anti depressants.

I have spells of being a bit depressed in more recent years but I remain functional and don’t need medication. My dad is generally pretty positive and rarely gets anxious or depressed even through his cancer treatment he was fairly calm.

I always look for the root cause and try to fix that and label it differently. For example I’m not anxious/depressed I’m grieving.

Or - I’m not feeling like that because I’m anxious but because I’m too busy and need to make a change.

A lot of anxious people feel powerless to change something in their lives and may not even know what to change so there is that element of feeling trapped too.

Anxiety can happen as a response to situations. Anxiety causes physical feelings like nausea, as used in ops example. Nowadays, we seem to think physical feelings are bad, and something to be avoided.

So in answer, yes , everyone experiences anxiety at some point, but some people deal with it better than others. If it causes temporary discomfort, people seem unable to cope with it .

In your examples op, the dog example the flight or fight would kick in so I find her experience understandable.

Did you tell the phonecall friend they could contact you anytime they needed?

Controversial but I feel like it is taught in school these days, they won't give children exams like we had because they'll get anxiety, it's almost like they are being told if you get a difficulty situation you should have anxiety. I think everyone does have anxiety over different things but it used to just be called emotions.

Sorry that sounded flippant, but my point is, some people do have serious case of anxiety, which is awful, but I think the use of the term has also changed. I also think women at various times of the month are able to cope less with situations, I feel completely out of control sometimes but I know deep down it's normal for me. I think we are better at talking about these things now but I do think that has resulted in more people using the term, rather than more people having it, if that makes sense.

Controversial but I feel like it is taught in school these days, they won't give children exams like we had because they'll get anxiety

What makes you think children don't do exams?!