Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

Beds that rival stone platforms.

No bathroom bin
Feathers in bedding (allergy sufferer, I can just about cope with 1 night but no more)
Not being offered breakfast until mid-morning (I'm the sort of person who needs to eat when they get up)
Freezing cold houses and very hot ones
People who only cater for their tiny appetite

Last time I stayed at someone’s house it was:

Crappy paper-towel-like curtains that did not keep the light out (we are in a big city, lots of light pollution).

Teddy bear sheets that smelled of feet. My friend is a clean person but I think those sheets promote perspiration and the smells can’t be completely washed out. I have a real thing about proper cotton sheets that are washed and aired.

@user1477391263 oh gosh yes, wafer thin curtains, i've had so many bad ones in holiday lets too!!

Not getting food in for visitors is weird - maybe they thought youd be going out for lunch?
The size of the bed 🤔 you'll have to suck that up as I wouldn't buy a new bed for infrequent visitors.
Just ask them for a drink - although might they think you might not want alcohol if you're breastfeeding?

Pretty much everything, I’ve concluded I just really don’t like staying in other people’s homes. It’s like being a child again.

Happy to host people at our house but generally I prefer hotels myself - though I have to make an exception for my in-laws for family politics reasons. I pack snacks and blankets and grit my teeth on our annual trip there, mother in law would be devastated if we stayed elsewhere.

The fact I can’t make coffee when I wake up stupidly early as usual.

In-laws swapped my husband's bed with no end for an iron bedstead with bars at the end. Husband is 6'5" and now can't sleep comfortably when we stay at their house. I feel so sorry for him.

In sharp contrast, my parents bought a new bed with no end to replace my iron bedstead when it became clear that husband was a permanent fixture in my life (maybe six months into our relationship) so that he could sleep well in their house.

I don’t like staying at other people’s houses (or having house guests) apart from my parents.

I think you’re being fussy about the bed though. Just because they have a big room - I didn’t even know super king existed! I’d be more than happy with a kingside/ queen. Doubles are a bit tight but I’d cope.

Lack of food and drink offering is tricky. But if they are PIL I think I’d just go and get myself a drink!

Surely if you’re a guest staying you can grab your own drink whenever you want. I’d find it weird to have to offer drink and breakfast unless I was cooking a fry up. I’d expect you to grab what you want whenever.

If I like you enough to let you sleep over you certainly know where the kitchen and kettle is 😂

You are coming across as a diva .Stay at home next time you are invited .

My MIL and my own parents all wake up very early every day. So if we stay with either of them DH and I are always awoken at around 6am by a parent appearing at the bedroom door with a cup of tea. We have 'suggested' they don't do this but they always claim to have forgotten. It's done with love, but means no weekend lie-in and always wearing very substantial pyjamas (which is an issue given that they also keep their homes incredibly hot.

My parents stayed at mine last night and the night before. So I have to sleep in the spare room, and they have my bed. I'm knackered by being woken by the bathroom trips in the night, and the 6.20 alarm. When they had no need to be up so early. My house is tiny, so we are all on top of each other.

It sounds very unwelcoming not to have shopped and cooked for guests and be offering you drinks or leaving a help yourself tray out. Sounds like they can’t be bothered and offering drinks to your DH but not you is plainly rude. I’d be tempted to arrive with your own favourites, open and maybe grudgingly share😂

PP who mentioned not liking waking without being able to make a drink, I love staying with friends who put kettle and teabags in room so you can wake up when you want and now always do this too.

If someone has a feather allergy surely it’s best to mention this and offer to take own bedding as most people wouldn’t know this?

No bin in the bathroom

no coffee

subsisting on air and expecting guests to do the same. Then getting upset when guests try to make arrangements to actually get to eat during the stay.

A double bed in a huge room is a bit annoying but I could live with that. The lack of food and drink is harder to bear. Depends on the reasons for it. Are they mean and inhospitable generally or are they just disorganised and unaware of how much food you need to feed a family?

You're faaaamily, not a guest!

My pet hate is not having a hook to hang a coat or bathrobe.

We have a super king as well and I find it so hard to sleep in a double. DH and I are both slim but I feel like we’ve got no space.
A relative who often likes us to stay has the worst shower I’ve ever experienced. The water comes out as a tiny trickle and it’s impossible to feel fully clean after being in it. We rarely stay there now unless we can help it.

I'd deal with it head on. Make a reservation for a nice lunch out, inviting them to join you, and say you need to be eating and drinking regularly as you're breastfeeding. I'd also take snacks and ask them if they'd like any tonshow them up for being the poor hosts they are.

I don't stay in anyone's house but my own. My best friend moved far away but luckily there's a nice guest house on her street.

What annoys me? Literally everything.

A hard bed, I really struggle to sleep and suffer with my hips if I have to sleep on one!
Also it being too hot!

Oh and brushed cotton or fleecy bedding, the feel of it goes through me!

Bedroom windows locked shut and the radiator on full blast, and you haven't realised until about 2.30am when you've woken up dripping with sweat.

One friend I do stay with regularly is really tall, as is her husband. I am reeeeally short. I can’t see in one bloody mirror in her house!