Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

I'm "there's the drinks, kettle, fridge, cupboards, eat and drink what you want. If you wake up early feel free to make coffee/food/do what you want"

I don't really host so much as "here is my home, use what you want"

My friend walks in and puts the kettle on

No lamp next to the bed, so if you want to read you have to do it in really bright light, and you have to get out of bed to turn the light out 😡

Definitely the size of the bed, I'm spoiled and love my super king at home. Hate sleeping in a double with DH. On this topic, also, really rustle-y sheets that make a racket whenever you move.

And towels that don't absorb anything and just move the water around 😡

I’ve started it with the children and their friends.

Pantry is there full of snacks and crisps and cereals and pop and juice. Cups are kept there, fridge is there for milk and cold water. Ice cream and lollies are here. Fruit bowl is there. Don’t need to ask. If you want something hot grab me and I’ll cook/make it.

Once they are all older older they can do that bit themselves too 😂

I’m not a host if your here your here and be at home you are now the furniture. If you want a hostess experience it anit here.

Mil hates that I don’t offer her a drink as she steps in the door… one I didn’t invite you in, two kettles there love or the coffee maker if you want to use a coffee pod.

This. Also turning off WiFi when they go to bed.

There’s nothing I enjoy about staying in other people’s houses. Nothing.

So I don’t.

No lock on the bathroom door....hate it!

My Mum tells me something new that is 'wrong' with my guest room every time she comes to visit. Last time she took the mirror from the main bathroom to the guest room so she could blow dry her hair, so nobody else in the house had access to a bathroom mirror (the guest bedroom where she was staying does have a mirror in the en suite)!

Someone above complained about thin curtains in the bedroom, I've done that deliberately in the past in an east facing guest room to 'encourage' certain guests to get up. When you have DC and are used to getting up and out early guests who don't appear until after 11 am are annoying.

My MIL never has food in for guests, I think she has just forgotten how much food a family of five eat. When FIL was alive he got annoyed because DH and I went shopping the first day of our visit and bought what we needed for the time we were staying, and FIL was mithering that the fruit would go off. It didn't, we ate it all.

I don't like it when hosts don't give you towels and you have to ask for them. And the spare toilet rolls are nowhere to be seen in the loo. And there's no bin in the toilet. And there's no undersheet on the bed. And mealtimes don't happen at regular times so you're constantly hungry.

Basically I hate being a guest and I hate having guests, particularly those who complain (I don't complain, I just silently long for home).

That reminds me of another one, bathroom doors with windows in them.

@JaninaDuszejko

when you say no undersheet, do you mean there is no bottom sheet between you and the mattress/ mattress topper? 😱

I'm only comfortable staying at my parents.
No mirror in the bedroom. I like to see what I'm doing to my hair. Ridiculously uncomfortable bed and world's latest pillows. Stayed with SIL at Xmas time and they have a main bathroom which you can't use as they need a replacement shower hose, it's been like that for ages so you have to use the shower in the ensuite. Also, they switch the hot water on so you have to wait until you can shower. They've spent a fortune on other things in the house so it's perfect for day guests but not overnight guests! I'm staying at the Premier Inn next time.

Mine are very similar, OP!

1 Bed. MIL has a small double. It's too small to share with DH comfortably - and along with this (1b) Own room. 😁I appreciate that it's princess like - but actually DH is a hideous snorer and I'm an insomniac. We have separate rooms at home, and I accept that staying with in-laws means sharing a room, but at least give us a KS bed or I really can't cope. Or twin singles, even.

2 Bleach in bathroom. MIL doesn't keep bleach in the bathroom. Not sure whether it's just under kitchen sink, but if I've had a poo I want to be able to put bleach down as I flush. I don't want to leave the room like that. (Tiny bathroom, tiny bungalow).

3 Food. Like yours, MIL appears to exist on thin air. At New Year when we went up there was awful 'diet' margarine spread in the fridge, 2 pints of milk and some blueberries. No bread in cupboards, no jam/biscuits/cake. I'm not sure what she eats. We were offered All Bran for breakfast. I didn't even know you could still buy it.

4 Lack of privacy. Despite knowing that I have a chronic condition MIL won't leave me alone if I've gone to lie down. Will come into the bedroom to say 'Do you want anything?' etc. Even if I am actually asleep. Has woken me up to ask me a question before. I feel quite vulnerable in bed, and I don't want someone else in there with me (apart from DH). It feels really intrusive.

I really just hate staying in other people's houses at all.

This is the number one for me too!

I have a pair of singles in the spare room, made up as a King, each with their own duvet.
Bedside tables with lamps each side.
I have bathrobes for the en suite.
A bathroom bin.
My house is thermally efficient so no heating on, but a fan heater.
Travel kettle, tea bags, mugs and biscuits. Also water jugs and glasses.
A very brightly coloured multi functional charger cable with all sorts of plugs on it.

Trouble is, I’m perpetually disappointed in everywhere else I go!

@Ilovemyshed Well thats great for you, but not many people can do that

When I was younger I could share even the small double (4 foot) at DM’s with dh, but now I don’t sleep well anyway, I can’t even share a standard double - it’s got to be a king size, or else twins.
I won’t stay anywhere that can’t provide enough bed space.

The other thing that riles me is no proper bedside lights for reading. It’s not as if they cost £££! Some hotels are crap in this respect, too. I usually read my Kindle, so it doesn’t matter to me, but dh is still strictly a book lover.

Agree about the bedside lamp. One family member we stay with, I always have to ask for one, every single time. Maybe I'll just take my own next time.

Being offered a bed with bedding that someone else has slept in. This happened years ago but I've never forgotten it - being shown to the guest room, the host said 'Oh you don't mind that A & B slept in those sheets a few days ago, they were only here three nights?'. I had to say 'Well, yes I do mind'. The sheets were changed but it was so awkward. If the sheets smell of someone else's perfume/body then I just don't sleep. I wouldn't dream of offering a guest bedding that wasn't fresh.

I really dislike it when people have nasty, inappropriate glasses, even more so if they are scratched or have dishwasher bloom. I appreciate people have very different budgets, but you can pick up a decent set for a tenner or so at TK Maxx to get you started. I find the most surprising people sometimes have horrible glasses, it's obviously a blind spot. 🤷‍♀️

I'm also particular about mugs, towels, pillows and nice cotton bedding.

Aw in anyone missing that OP is breastfeeding. Bit tight of them not to help offer food etc

@SeatonCarew

i thought you meant nasty inappropriate glasses like 🤓!!

Doesn't sound like very good hosting if you have to take your own food 😂

I mean, who knew that if someone is invited to stay it's the guest's responsibility to provide food and the host empties the fridge in preparation?

No bedside lamp - so you have to stumble about in the dark to get from the switch to bed in an unfamiliar room

Too cold - our thermostat is set at around 21 and I can't stand houses which are at 16, brrr!

Houses where it's difficult to find the bin

I’ve never thought about the light issue. We have bedside lamps but they have never been plugged in. Though I don’t read in bed and our main like is a smart light so we just shout at it to turn off.

Guess that might be on some peoples list though smart houses and Alexa’s.

Staying with people who eat like baby birds instead of full grown humans is the worst.
Or people who don't seem to drink, my parents generation seem much worse for this than mine of my kids. They drink tea or coffee during the day (but not much), and then switch to alcohol if they drink or decaf otherwise, or maybe a herbal tea. But like 3-4 drinks a day and no water. I don't understand how they survive on tiny amounts of food and drinks. I end up feeling like an alien for seemingly being always hungry and thirsty

No bathroom bin, and no napkins / kitchen roll / serviettes when we eat.

I'm not fussy but I'd like to not have to put a tampon in the kitchen bin and to be able to wipe my mouth when i eat.

I know what you mean about scratches and bloom, but what are 'inappropriate' glasses?
(just thinking about a recent guest who wanted wine but not in my large – lovely – wine glasses as she likes a small one. I don't have small wine glasses, so she got a little tumbler. Is that the kind of thing you mean? I don't think she was totally appalled but now I'm not sure...

I must be lucky with the people I stay with; I generally like their houses. My dad's house has ancient bed linen and a saggy mattress in the spare room, but the linen is always freshly laundered, which is all I mind about really.