Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

@SeatonCarew I’m going to have to disagree on the 80’s pint glasses with handles. They are the very best glasses combining kitsch and functionality and heavily fought over in my house by all. Sorry not sorry

I have only ever known one person to have a super king, my parents (who didn’t particularly like each other so was perfect!

Well you should!

People like you are why I cannot stand having houseguests 😂 You’re staying here for free, I’m not a waitress nor a chef, like it or lump it get a bloody travellodge please PLEASE PLEASE.

@Goldfinchtriad on reflection, I can see for a Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club themed pie and peas supper they'd be just the thing. 😄

In contrast to all of this my sister and I went to stay with one of our cousins and his family in Ireland last summer. They have an annexe that we stayed in and I've never been so well looked after in my life!

We had a comfy room each, and a cozy bathroom.The fridge and all the cupboards downstairs were filled with yummy things that we might like to eat for breakfast or as snacks throughout the day or in the evening. I think there was every kind of alcohol known to man in a drinks cupboard in the kitchen/sitting room. They took us round and about during the day, but made it clear that we were welcome to chill in the annexe at any point, so that none of us needed to feel that we were under each other's feet. They cooked us an amazing meal every evening!

It really was quite fantastic. It makes such a difference when people go out of their way to be welcoming and to make people comfy!

glad it’s not just me!

Although I do appreciate I am probably being a diva about a couple of things as @fairymary87 pointed out, I am breastfeeding a boob obsessed monster at the moment so am stuck on the sofa 99% of the time. The living room is also really far from the kitchen where all the “adults” hang out but there’s no where practical to feed in there.

Maybe it’s just because DH and I always make an effort to “host” even if it is family that it feels a bit strange to not offer, particularly if you’re making a tea/getting a drink for yourself.

@Meowandthen it is complicated and involves using a facecloth first, wringing it out multiple times. Only when one's body is mostly dry may an actual towel be used.

It is not normal not to have food in when you have guests. Especially when one is breastfeeding.

Don’t be ridiculous.

Pillows that are really thick. They give me neck ache. If I know that the person has them, then I pack my own pillow.

Being cold. I like to be warm at night. I can't sleep if I'm too cold. I normally sleep with 2-3 duvets at night. When I arrive and find that the duvet is really thin and there's no extra blankets around, my heart sinks. Towels make quite good extra blankets though.

Hot houses with bedroom windows which hardly open.
Strong smelling fabric conditioner used on the bed linen, I hate it, can’t bear my head on the pillow. Well actually, pretty much any scent at all actually.

I read most of these posts and want to weep.

I rarely get to stay with anyone, and it's rare that anyone stays with me.

I'm supposed to buy a super king bed and basically have hotel facilities in my spare room, for the couple of nights in two or three years that someones stayed with me?

I'm going to be judged for putting fabric conditioner in my towel wash? Whether my glasses are big/small enough? For not having blackout curtains?

I've invited some friends to stay at Easter and now I just want to withdraw the invitation. My spare room is clearly lacking and I can't afford to buy a new bed and ask the things that are apparently vital.

Seriously, I'm sickened. When I'm invited to stay at friend's houses I'm just delighted to spend time with them and enjoy their company. I'm not grading them for f*ing trip advisor.

Some of if you are really shit friends.

Bathrooms that are not as clean as mine. As for your post, it's you in-laws, not a posh hotel! I think you are expecting too much.

They’re not irrational OP! If you’re a guest, you should be fed and watered.

I also can’t stand too-loud TVs, too-hot houses, unhealthy food, cheap candles, noisy dogs. I don’t stay at other people’s homes.

I'm weeping at this thread, I love it! Seriously are some people visiting their relatives in Royston Vasey? FFS, no water allowed, how to dry yourself,Jesus Christ 😂Do they keep toads as a hobby?

Hands off mine. When we used to have a bed with a foot board at the end he used to sleep diagonally. We now have a Superking at my insistence.

I've just got to your post saraclara and it's a breath of fresh air!
Most people don't have enough money to buy a house with a spare bedroom, sorry guest suite, that's big enough for a super king bed, an appropriate wardrobe (that remains largely empty so guests can use it), with its own en suite, and that's before the endless list of decor and soft furnishing requirements that are required.

It makes me wonder where the children go in some of these houses because most houses don't have every bedroom big enough for a king size bed and an en suite. Do they get smaller bedrooms so mum and dad can play hotels?

But I'm amazed that people expect towels to be provided. It's friends & family not a hotel.

I deliberately didn't put a king size in the spare room.
Whilst we enjoy visitors, we enjoy them more in 1-2 night bursts, maybe 3 if there is just one of them. Don't want to make it too comfortable so they stay longer.

It would never occur to me not to provide a guest with towels

But perhaps influencing this is that most of our guests arrive by train and it's not ideal to have to stuff a damp towel into your luggage on your return trip. I guess if you're driving it might be easier

Bedrooms without adequate black-outs at window.
Bedroom too hot and locked windows.
Mil house always freezing even though guests over. Have never stayed over as in same town. Also Mil- the big light!!!! Going to buy her lamps next Christmas .

Ooooh, I've jumped on to rate myself on my hospitality efforts as I have a last minute unexpected overnight guest tonight.
He's been fed a delicious filling and healthy dinner (was meant to be my lunch for tomorrow ), given a beer, shown where the snack cupboard is and other refreshments.

I'm going to read slowly through the thread and see how bad / good my hosting is!

No bedside light to read by.
One skinny pillow only per person.
White pillowcases I get worried I might mark with traces of makeup.

This thread is why we stay in hotels when visiting family.

Eh? Are you seriously expecting guests to take up their luggage with towels and then lug the slightly damp ones home?
Surely the offer of a towel is the least you can offer an overnight guest? Do you also expect them to bring their own bed linen and duvets and pillows?
Weird.