Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

Not clearing a small space in a wardrobe full of the hosts spare clothes, and no hangers.

Heating on too high

Gives me palpitations

My in laws don't allow food and drinks upstairs. Food I can accept, but I NEED to drink through the night. I usually drink a pint of water through the night at home. There I end up lying awake thirsty and considering drinking from the tap in the en-suite to see me through.

Cold houses. My friend is Scottish and doesn't feel the cold. They live near Bournemouth. Never put the heating on. Staying there in winter is an ordeal. Surely you'd want your guest to be comfortable? Heat one room or a hot water bottle or something.
MIL never has any food in the house. Her idea of breakfast is one slice of toast. Thin sliced bread. I take secret supplies now.
Or no food at all. We stayed with friends once who have the most beautiful huge house. No breakfast at all. Not even a cup of tea.

@catscalledbeanz - that’s terrible. Can you not bring a large bottle of water up with you?

My dad is the best at this when people come to stay, especially new partners (I have 4 siblings so there’s been a few over the years!)

Once you’ve taken your coat off he shows you where the kettle is, the fridge and the drink fridge/cabinet. Makes it clear you are to make yourself at home and help yourself. We know when someone’s started to feel comfy or will fit in the first time they say “I’m going to make myself a cup of tea / get a beer, anyone else want one?” Hate it now when I stay elsewhere and unsure if I should offer to put the kettle on or if hosts find it rude not to wait to be asked!

I don't like it being "peopley"... do I really have to spend all day, dawn til bedtime with people?

So I much prefer visiting without staying. You get the same amount of "quality time" without the sitting around in a room that smells different, watching television... usually in silence until a good bit comes on and then everyone starts talking about the bus stop being vandalised or suchlike. Just not a people person.

Peridot- I agree it's awful. I'm not allowed a bottle of water. No liquid allowed upstairs at all. When I have smuggled a bottle of Evian in I was caught (she heard me drinking/ opening the bottle in the middle of the night ) and chastised. They are very lovely people but absolutely mental in some ways. We very very rarely sleep there now as a result.

Re. Food at other people's houses.

I always take snacks with me. I either don't like the food, or there isn't enough.

So she’s spending the night with her ear pressed up against your door so she can catch you breaking the water rules? There’s no way I’d stay there again! That’s insane.

Being jumped on by the dog! At least let me take my coat off and say hello to everyone else first!

If you can't open the bedroom window. If you have to grovel around to access a socket for a charger or to plug a lamp in. Having to put something on to go for a wee in the night if that's no en suite.

Oh and unwashed bedding that smells musty or feels like someone else has used it before you. Makes me want to gag. I've had to put towels down across the pillow and under me before now.

Small bed is my pet hate ... 4 ft double and super cluttered room, shared bathroom at one parent's house and they wonder why we only stay 2 night max! Hate it.

Guests at mine get
King size bed
Decent cotton bed linen
Good duvets and pillows but check allergies
Blackout curtains
Dressing table and a hairdryer
Water by the bed
Permission to have free range in the kitchen for tea/coffee/ light breakfast before we do a main breakfast
Things that they line for breakfast : granolas, seeds, berries, any special milk
Big towels
Their own bathroom with lots of hot water and a bin

We basically try and give them a hotel room.

We are in a hotel style suite at the other end of the house !

How would they know if you had a bottle of water in your case? FFS.

I have never stayed in someone else's house and never will.

Small bed
Crap bedding - flat pillows etc
No accessible plug socket
No bathroom bin
Can't see spare loo roll
Tea and coffee not out and visible in kitchen
Locked windows
Radiators stuck on
Thin curtains
No toothpaste in bathroom
No bedroom mirror

those incredibly heavy thick duvets that are too warm even for winter. I feel like I’m drowning in them.

Insufficient seating. I don't mind being squished up with another person on a tiny sofa for a while, but for several days of a visit it's bloody uncomfortable (I have a connective tissue disorder and chronic pain)

Not flushing at night. I find it disgusting and it gives me flashbacks to being screamed at and hit for sneaking to the loo as a child.

Being given a hot drink and nowhere sensible to put it down, especially if there are kids and pets around.

Expectations around how different sexes behave. MIL serves salmon to women and steak to men, and gets shitty if they share. She also used to get a fit of the vapours if DH did bedtime/nappies. I have South African relatives who expect men and women to sit separately at social gatherings. DH and I are two autistic peas in a pod and we hate it.

I always take a couple of small bottles of water in my case for this reason!

I think you're being a bit diva. It's unnecessary to have a super king in a spare room. I wouldn't wait to be offered drinks or food at my MILs or my own parents. Not having food in for lunch is a bit rude though.

Thin cheap arse sheets and flat hard pillows.

TV up too loud and crap on.

ALL the bloody lights on in the evening so you sit there under a thousand watts.

Being expected to stay up late and have a few drinkys every bloody night.

Towels that wouldn't wrap around a small dog let alone an adult human.

Lack of sugar or real milk or real butter or any bread at all!

This is a specific house as you might have guessed 😂

Being jumped on by the dog would entice me in.

I can't deal with other people's houses being over heated. We rarely put our thermostat above 16. It's so unhealthy and stifling being in a warm house. When we have guests I always ask if they want the heating higher though.

Very rarely stay at someone’s house but after many crap hotel rooms, I never travel without

small fan
my own towel
own pillowcase
biscuits or suchlike
my own drinks in coolpack
** if in hotel, my own teabags and sugar, cos there is never enough.

My own rule is, - if you need it - take it with you - don’t hope you’ll be catered for!