Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

Tiny water glasses
Also in the massive husband brigade so footboards/small beds

Houses with heating on too high and plug in air fresheners in every room = migraine

Off topic but Hosts who seem to want you to unravel a cryptic puzzle to find coffee making equipment so when you sneak down early or after everyone has left for the day you spend hours opening and closing kitchen cupboard doors.
Cafetière behind a giant bag of rice in a pantry
Coffee in a plastic box at the back of the fridge
Sugar in an unlabelled glass jar behind the pans
No milk
Kettle in a cupboard with the ironing board
No discernible drinking vessels other than a giant sports direct mug or a decorative espresso cup.
And even then you think 'shit, do they disapprove of coffee in this house' because there is simply no rhyme or reason why everything should be hidden across multiple cupboards and looking like no-one ever uses it.

Stayed with my parents recently and I ended up in a 20 minutes fruitless hunt for the bread and croissants my mother said there was for breakfast. They were being kept in the microwave in lieu of a bread bin....

Hello and thank you for asking. 😊

I won't list all my preferences, but on a very basic level, I don't ever want to drink out of a Disney or flowery frosted 80s glass. I'm not five years old.

Stepping it up a little, I ideally don't want to open a glasses cupboard and be faced with a motley assortment of hideous, non-matching glasses who've clearly gone there to die, some of which were potentially pinched from a pub. Old fashioned beer glasses with handles are a definite no no. If there's one that looks like Granddad's tooth glass, I might just shed a silent tear.

I don't want a totally inappropriate size and shape of glass for my drink of choice. With regard to your guest, yes, we do do two sizes of wine glass in this house - DH drinks red and I drink white and they require different sizes for the bouquet - but that is a latter life indulgence which I wouldn't certainly wouldn't expect from everyone. A set of clean, sparkling, medium sized wine glasses will do just fine. Similarly, if I'm drinking water, I want a decent sized glass - a highball or tumbler. If I'm drinking spirits, I won't insist on separate glasses for each type, but a small attractive tumbler is the basic minimum for this category, I don't want to drink my whisky out of a beer glass.

It just seems to me that drinking is a pleasurable activity and alcohol is expensive, so why diminish it by drinking out of a repulsive glass, especially when they need not cost much? I move in millionaire circles and still, it is astonishing what one is offered. As I say, it's often a blind spot.

As a starting point, I'd suggest 6 (ideally8) highball tumblers, 6 wine glasses. 6 nice beer glasses and 6 glasses for shorts and then take it from there according to taste.

Just my opinion. 😊🥂

100% this. Other people's houses fucking suck. All of them.

I forgot to add, 8 nice champagne glasses with a cheerful "ring" when funds allow.

I just want to know where you are all finding these massive husbands.

Asking for my sister, who likes a six footer.

I'm with you on the beds and the food situation OP!. MIL has a double, it feels tiny, but the room is huge (and cold). And food - nothing in! We go to Sainsburys round the corner and stock up!

Go to Germany. 😉

Freezing cold houses. We keep our house between 18 and 21 degrees. I now don't go and stay with several people during the colder months because I know it'll be miserable. It's not because they can't afford to put the heating on!

Dingy lighting so you can't see to read in the evening. Can't stand wandering around in the gloom trying to find something.

A light somewhere near the bed so you can turn the light out in bed rather than have to get out of bed, turn it off, then make your way back in pitch darkness.

Plug socket available in spare room.

Bin in bathroom.

Tiny uncomfortable beds. Dribble showers. No towels provided. Only one bathroom/ loo with no lock. Margarine. Only one bin in the kitchen. Obscure recycling/food waste arrangements if you get cross with people who live elsewhere and don’t know. The purple bin is for human sacrifices every blue moon!!! Obviously.

I'd prefer a bathroom bin and a mirror in the bedroom and a large bed of course.

But honestly, if we're close enough I've come to stay, I'll suck it all up! It's nice to see you and I'll try not be a nuisance! I don't mind being on an airbed. Or shoved in the spare room with your crap you haven't got around to sorting because life is busy. It doesn't matter if you don't have a bedside lamp, it's only a couple of days, I've got a torch on my phone. It's all fine, I'm not here to judge, and hopefully you won't judge me when you come to my house!

Although my parents only drink with dinner and then the wine goes away. Even if dinner is with the kids at 5pm. I'd really rather relax
with my glass of wine once the kids are in bed. But it's only a mild niggle. It's still nice to stay. And I could mention it.

Nodding at most of these - apart from the glass pedantry. I have nice glasses but not something I’d complain about of they are clean.

I hate small saggy beds. Some years ago one set of in-laws had such an old double that we spent all night extracting ourselves from the middle. Terrible sleep.

My guests get a nice room with a large bed, decent bedding, a pile of towels, a full size bathroom to themselves, a dressing table, and a basked with bottles of water and snacks. The kettle is in views and mugs/tea/coffee pointed out as is the bread, contents of fridge and snack cupboard.

They get what I would want. I suspect many people just don’t consider the needs/wants of others.

The only place I don’t mind staying, if not a decent hotel, is at my parents.

Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).

Could you not grab a glass of the bottle you presumably took with you?

Also tea/coffee/whisky/whatever drinkers who have infinite range of their drink of choice but only the crappiest possible option or nothing at all for people who like other things. So ten different leaf teas or value instant coffee. Etc.
Even if they know their guests have other preferences.

Staying at one sibling - they only have coffee beans and you have to grind them to make coffee. I get up early and hate trying to make a coffee at 6am when everyone else is asleep and I don’t really know how the machine works…

at the other sibling … they don’t have salt! My SIL made us boiled eggs and when I asked for some salt she looked at me like I’d shit on the floor. Turns out they never add salt to anything they cook. WTAF

Just thought of something else. Ticking clocks.

They set me on edge. I think it’s largely an older person thing to have clocks that tick loudly but I cannot sleep with the noise. And I can hear it from a couple of rooms away.

I once had to hide a clock down the back of my aunt’s sofa as it was driving me crazy overnight.

What's the point of the bedside lights then? 🤔🤔

My moans

• instant coffee
• small sofas/chairs that you can't curl up on, and you have to sit formally with your feet on the floor. I find it so uncomfortabe. To be fair, MIL (the culprit) hates our big sofas as her legs are too short for them

Too many to list at PIL. But the main ones were their house was small. The spare room only had a single bed, it was broken and the mattress had never been replaced for 30 years and was incredibly lumpy. There was also a guest bed, also broken, uncomfortable and squeaked.
They would replace neither as we ‘never visited’ in fact we went frequently.
MIL put loads of fabric conditioner in with towels, they were basically water proof and repelled all water, so you just moved water round your body.

Being instructed on the correct way to dry myself so as to "save the towels".

Tiny glasses. I want to drink huge glasses of water, not thimblefuls!

I think it's a jolly good idea for people to test sleep in their own guest rooms before unleashing them on the wider world.

Mind you, I think that about most hotel managers too.

The “correct” way to dry yourself? Did you keep a straight face?

And what is it? 😄

We don’t have a bin in our guest bathroom. I feel judged.

Surely now you know this, you'd just pack a sports bottle or similar in your bag and fill it up before bed without them seeing?