Things that (irrationally) annoy you when staying at other people’s homes

[NameName2023]

Currently staying at my MIL’s house for a couple of days and three things have irritated me and I need to get over it:

1. bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king. This is probably my issue though as we have a super king at home so I’m used to the space, rather than having to squeeze in with my 6’5”, rugby built husband.
2. Drinks - not once have they offered anything. I’ve offered to make tea if I’ve made myself one. Also, they’ll only offer alcoholic drinks if DH is in the room (DH was getting toddler down for bed, he came in to top up the milk bottle and FIL offered him a drink, despite me being sat there without one. It’s like women can only be offered a drink once the men have!).
3. lunch - literally nothing in the fridge for lunch today. They knew they had guests but obviously didn’t think to get food in to make sandwiches or anything. I’m breastfeeding our baby and bloody hungry. I was offered a very nutritious breakfast of Rice Krispies and thats all I’ve been offered today. DH and I are going to the supermarket later. Going to stock up on snacks.

I guess some of it is my issue but it’s just really annoyed me. I just want to be back home!

I live in fear of there not being enough food, so always take plenty of lovely stuff with me, most of which I end up leaving for the host.

Bed wise, clean is where I set my bar, doesn't have to be big, smaller is fine, better in-fact as I snore less if I sleep on my side a comfy sofa is acceptable too.
Feeling comfortable enough to get up and go downstairs and make a coffee is essential to a pleasant stay.
Towels should be available, not made into a swan on the bed, more of a 'clean towels are in the airing cupboard' type of way.
Don't like really hot houses, or minimalist houses, give me piles of books, a bit of clutter and a draught any day

bed - actually applies to both my SIL and MIL. Both of their spare rooms are huge, ridiculously so. Yet they only have double/kingsize beds when there is easily enough room for a super king.

I don't think it would ever occur to me to buy a superking bed, whatever size my rooms were. I've never had a bed bigger than a standard double.

*Legging it downstairs to retrieve the bathroom bin from the utility room (cleaned it this morning).
Wonder if I need to say there are two mirrors on the inside doors of the wardrobe.

Oh well.

Oh yes oh yes.

DH side of the family have no hospitality what's so ever.

Invited us. Planned in advance. But when we arrived acts like we just turned up out if the blue. No drinks offered, I had to bring my own. No bed setup. Visited 3 times and one occasion I was heavily pregnant and I slept on the floor, no mattress just hard floor with a blanket.

Not answering the doors despite knowing arrival time. Waiting on the doorstep for 25mins. After having travelled 4 hours.

I swore I would never go visit / stay ever again.

Sharp furniture! Slept in a relative's beautifully decorated spare room with mirrored glass furniture, which looked great, but I kept waking myself up by knocking my arm against the edge of the chest of drawers. It was so sharp, I ended up with marks on me.

I like a super king size bed too but don't expect one in other people's houses. I need a bedside light, and have now got a spare one that I take with me when staying at airbnb type places, having had to buy one before. I can't relax for bed without reading for a bit, not possible with an overhead night, and then I also have to get up to turn it off, getting cold and also unrelaxed.

I won't list all my preferences, but on a very basic level, I don't ever want to drink out of a Disney or flowery frosted 80s glass. I'm not five years old.

Stepping it up a little, I ideally don't want to open a glasses cupboard and be faced with a motley assortment of hideous, non-matching glasses who've clearly gone there to die, some of which were potentially pinched from a pub. Old fashioned beer glasses with handles are a definite no no. If there's one that looks like Granddad's tooth glass, I might just shed a silent tear.

I don't want a totally inappropriate size and shape of glass for my drink of choice. With regard to your guest, yes, we do do two sizes of wine glass in this house - DH drinks red and I drink white and they require different sizes for the bouquet - but that is a latter life indulgence which I wouldn't certainly wouldn't expect from everyone. A set of clean, sparkling, medium sized wine glasses will do just fine. Similarly, if I'm drinking water, I want a decent sized glass - a highball or tumbler. If I'm drinking spirits, I won't insist on separate glasses for each type, but a small attractive tumbler is the basic minimum for this category, I don't want to drink my whisky out of a beer glass.

Goodness. That is quite some demanding glass-based angst you have going on there!

@LolaSmiles thank you. I felt like a voice in the wilderness. And even now there's only the two of us who don't get this thread. It's not even funny.

Anyway, I'm lucky to have a spare bedroom since my kids are adults now, but its usual occupant is my granddaughter on sleepovers. So my guests will be in a room with her paintings on the wall and which has bookshelves with nappies, her neatly folded clothes, picture books and teddies on. They'll be on an IKEA bed, and there's no bedside table, never mind a lamp.

There will be towels though. And I'll spare then the Peppa pig duvet cover.

Jeez, I provide towels as a minimum! Would never expect guests to lug theirs over !

The bed in my in-laws guest room is a single and a half. Hideous anyway but when it's in the same room as the "bleed off" radiator for the range which (apparently) means the radiator has to be turned up full even when there's a heat wave makes it even more hideous.

Took about six years of us only popping in when we wetmre staying with friends in the area because we just couldn't deal with the six hour round trip and the sleep deprivation for them to put a double in (it's a huge room and they are loaded).

The radiator remains on max though so no.

Now you see I'd love the Peppa Pig 🐷 duvet in all fairness

When we have guests over we always make sure they have towels and enough blankets in the winter/ a fan in the summer, are offered drinks/food and there’s plenty of food in the fridge where they are told to help themselves if they are hungry (I always still offer too though as I know some people can still be weird about helping themselves to things in someone else’s house) surely that’s the basic minimum of having guests? 😩 as if people invite their loved ones over and not feed/water them, absolutely bizarre.

I never minded anything in the past except rooms/beds smelling of smoke, which wasn't too common even back then. Happily plonked myself anywhere and dealt with anything.

But in my mid-50s I do seem to have lost the ability to cope well with staying elsewhere now. It's usually the temperature - I'm more sensitive to cold and heat these days. And I get more tired and fed up more easily.

Having said that, I'll still do it if that's the only way I'll see ds.

You’d think so wouldn’t you but when I first stayed with a friend and her new bloke and made myself coffee and toast, she wasn’t very pleased. Since they didn’t get up until 11.30 I thought I was behaving reasonably.

my pet hate is people who stay in bed half the day and expect their guests to do the same.

YY to the thick hard pillows! My darling best friend has these in her (otherwise gorgeous) spare room and I find them so uncomfortable. I can't imagine anybody sleeping well with them they're far too big.

My MIL has a bed that is a wide single which I struggle to sleep in. . And the only toilet is in a tiny closet room next door to the bathroom. My knees touch the door (I'm 5ft4) if I sit down and it makes me feel claustrophobic. As someone with Crohn's toilets really matter.

I do love spending time with friends and I'll suck up any discomfort to do that. We don't all have the luxury of spare rooms - although I'm very grateful to the ones that do, especially where there's an ensuite.

I hate staying at other people's houses! I like my home comforts and privacy!

People who only drink Tea so never have coffee in even for guests, same with sugar. I kind think it's a staple cupboard item even if you don't drink it, if you intend to host guests you have it in just incase!

Fresh towels & bed linen - I have stayed at some people's houses where the bed linen is clearly not fresh on and the towels are the ones hung up in the bathroom previously used...ick!

To be honest loads of things irritate me when I stay at people's houses, I think it really opens your eyes to how different people actually live. Just in general. I'm sure people think same when they stay at mine! It's just the general feeling of awkwardness that comes with sleeping in someones personal space that isn't your own. I could never house sit!

I'm reading these posts wondering who on earth you guys are staying with?!!! Surely you only stay with family or close friends, in which case just say you'd love a cuppa and where are the T bags, or ask if you can swap for a bigger towel, or say I'm hungry will I pop down to the shop and get some supplies. Problem solved.

Yes they do 😂

I don’t expect king sized beds etc. i would expect a clean room with curtains, like basic!

Although I put up with a lot of shit staying with in laws for decades, in my 50s, no fucking way. I know MIL hated coming here, but at least we tried to make it pleasant.

I haven’t stayed with BIL for decades as he will offer you a bare floor to sleep on. Also in 25 years he won’t bother to get teabags or milk in (he will use them if you bring them though).

I live alone and love my super king
Even at 40 if my friend stays over after a night out she gets in my bed about 7am just as if we were back at uni together

Nowhere to put anything in the bathroom. I stay with one friend and the only place to put my toothbrush, toothpaste and cleanser down while I shower is on the loo cistern.

Not enough food. One of my SILs is a shocker for this.

Is everyone else making notes about ways to improve their guest facilities?

Heating on at night. Nope.

We long ditched staying at MIL’s and now Airbnb a cottage in her village because of (in my opinion, but DH agrees) frankly crap hosting…. Examples include:

• not clean sheets - often not changed from our nephews/ my SIL staying
• sheets / bedding is a sheet straight on a mattress (urgh) and just one pillow each
• one child doesn’t get a bed (we have three kids, so I totally get we are a huge imposition) but instead of getting a cheap camp bed or similar, for a DECADE MIL has just put cushions on the floor for child 3 to sleep on
• no bedside lights
• famously and hilariously not getting food in - the worst was the time that MIL and FIL had bought two chocolate croissants, one for each of them, and no breakfast for us… I mean we still laugh!
• No bathroom lock - one bathroom
• no towels provided
• instant coffee only…

The Airbnb we now rent in order to see them is a huge expense but so so worth it!!!

The food thing.
When they don’t eat breakfast or lunch and eat dinner at 9 at night, no drinks and nothing to eat offered or provided.

Being invited for lunch or dinner, given a time of day 5.30 for dinner, arriving at 5.30 and they haven’t even begun to cook anything. I eat (well) before I go now so not starving and irritated.

The zero consideration for any other fucker in the house. Loud slamming/banging/TV/ talking/ banging doors at 5.30/6am

Synthetic duvet and pillows are awful,
Thick heavy curtains (I want to wake to natural light),
Bring fussed over!