"He says along the lines, you need to stop knocking on closed doors. continuously trying methods, routines that don't work and often do more harm than good. It's about the parent changing how they look upon the problem.
This struck a very important chord with me, when you can let go of how you think other people , teachers, etc are judging you, with no real knowledge themselves about the situation, with zero help, support and understanding. When you are confident enough to think ok, enough is enough, we need to think about a different route, we need to draw a line, and have faith we will eventually find out own way, that's when things change in a positive manner"
I think this is where I'm at, now. Dealing with school has taken every ounce of my energy. CAMHS have been inconsistent, SaLT has been excellent, but OT has been an abomination.
OT have currently set DD a 'goal' to get the train into the city by herself. She's 12, Autistic, with Anxiety and Situational Mutism. She agreed, but doesn't actually want to (surprisingly) Fucks sake! They alternate between insinuating I'm being overly protective and borderline neglectful. It's a clusterfuck of misunderstanding and gaslighting.
I was just sitting browsing private psychologists near me. Thinking of paying for some specialist knowledge, when I thought, No! This is what is exhausting about it all. The constant trying to engage with too many specialists, expecting DD to engage when she's bloody exhausted. No. We are better off muddling through together. Home is her safe space, she has me to talk to. She rarely engages with specialists anyway (and when she does, she just tells them what they want to hear to make them go away)
It sort of reminds me of my own experiences of therapy. I just end up agreeing to make the therapist feel like they are doing a good job.