If you are a sahm...

[spandauballroom]

Is that how you explain what you do if someone asks?
What do you say if someone asks your job?

Something like that is happening in Ireland funnily enough to replace the words "woman in the home" in their constitution. There is a referendum about it next month.

It did used to be more common but the most common term used now tends to be SAHP.

Just like housewife used to be more common but isn't as much now.

They are probably bots pushing for the normalisation of policies that require all women to place their children in childcare and join the workforce in order to boost the economy. "What are you!? A snivelling snowflake SAHM while we fight for the country you sit on your arse raising kids whilst your hubby works!? What about equality? Shaaame!!!"

My ex boss pretty much thinks like this. He sends me job applications reasonably regularly and has been known to rant that given the tax payer paid for my first two degrees I should either be sent a bill or forced back to (proper) work.

"The State recognises that by her life within the home, woman gives to the State a support without which the common good cannot be achieved.” It goes on to say that: “The State shall, therefore, endeavour to ensure that mothers shall not be obliged by economic necessity to engage in labour to the neglect of their duties in the home.”

Duties? Replace away. I agree that SAHMs are contributing. But that clause is awful.

@MrsTerryPratchett I don't know the ends & outs of it at all, just saw a couple of articles online. I'll read into it more over the next few weeks, I have a lot of friends & family in Ireland, I'll be interested to hear their take on it.

I have been along the years (in the interest of encompassing all definitions here)

1. a 'full time parent' to my children (i.e. I stayed at home without outside employment)

2 . a 'parent employed part time outside the home' 3 'a parent employed full time outside the home'

Each stage of parenting is bloody hard! So why are women here arguing about what is right/wrong/easy/hard.

As far as I can see there's a lot of mum-guilt going on because of what is expected of us. But what about - what is actually fair?

And, to be honest I don't see men having the same dilemma .....

I say I don't work.

This thread is batshit

F

When I just had the one I said "I'm home with my little one, he's complicated" because he was and I had to quit work because of it, and everyone said "ah yes, of course" Then I said "I'm home with the kids, I've got twins!" and every one went "ah yes, of course".

Now they're in school I feel I need to justify it more "I'm home with the kids, but I'm studying whilst they're at school. The cost of childcare...."

@NewsN "But you contribute nothing into society and the tax payer literally pays for you to choose to stay home?"

Utter bollocks! Myself and my husband don't claim a single benefit, not even child benefit.
If you hate SAHM so such why are you on this thread?

Anyway, to answer the OP I say I'm a SAHM, simple!

I just say I'm a lady who lunches. They don't need to know it's with a 2 year old at softplay and that the lunch is usually leftover toast crusts and the end of the banana.

I'm pregnant with twins and everyone always assumes that I'll be giving up my career now apparently due to the cost of childcare.

''Won't you be better off staying at home?''
''Is it going to be worth it you working?''

Some of those asking know that I'm the higher earner but funnily enough, no one has asked DH if it's going to be ''worth it'' for him to work.

All mothers are full time.

Some are obviously more full time than others. I've been full time, part-time and a stay at home mum over the years.
When I'm working full time I'm doing a lot less parenting than when I'm at home full time.
With small dc if you aren't a full time parent then either a partner is or you are paying someone to do that role at times.
That isn't a judgement just a practical reality.

I'm a sahp and proud to be. It works for my family. I don't judge any other parent for working yet I face judgment everyday. Some people have such a chip on their shoulder about stay at home parents. I honestly don't understand it
And also to be clear I'm not financially naive, I have my own savings, pension and money.

Exactly, I've been saying the same but have been shot down!
Obviously a parent who is full time with their children is parenting more than one whose child is been taken care of by someone who isn't their parent.
It's fact! You can't be in two places at once. You can be a full time parent in the home or a full time working parent outside the home or any level of part time in between.
But the reality it full time parents do a hell of a lot more parenting because they obviously spend much more time with their children by choice. And unfortunately this is not an option for many which is why they choose to be so defensive.

I used to say I was a lady of leisure - spending day in the coffee shop & pubs in between the gym and lots of classes.

I say I'm at home because I have a toddler

SAHM is harder than any job I've ever done tbh!

I work by choice. I'm not defensive, I just simply disagree with you.

All parents are full time parents because they don't stop being a parent when they go to work and you can't say to nursery ''Sorry, no, I'm just a part time parent so I won't be picking up John until exactly 5pm even if he's just been sick everywhere''.

I say I'm a stay at home Mum.

I know it sounds like saying I have no job, but in way it also says that we are one of those lucky families who can afford to have me at home, so it's also a good thing.

Yes & you are absolutely right to choose to work full time if that suits you best. It's your right. But you have to admit that a parent who is at home full time with their children is parenting more hence the term full time parent. You would be a full time working parent as you are working full time!

But you have to admit that a parent who is at home full time with their children is parenting more hence the term full time parent.

Why are you so invested in making WOHMs admit they are lesser parents than you? You're calling us defensive but all your posts have been passive aggressive little digs.

No one is denying that a SAHP is physically with their child more, of course they are.

But working full time absolutely does not make me less of a parent than a parent who is physically with their child more. Hence we are all full time parents.

Why are you trying to diminish full time parents roles? Someone who is working 39 hours a week without a parent /guardian taking care of them is not a full time parent. The correct term or the more commonly used one is "full time working parent".