If you are a sahm...

[spandauballroom]

Is that how you explain what you do if someone asks?
What do you say if someone asks your job?

This is literally unemployment.

When I was unemployed, I filled my day with all sorts of things but it didn't make me any less unemployed?

The term unemployed does not apply and this discussion on it has been done to death on here.

From ONS about the term unemployed

"The UK applies this as anybody who is not in employment by the above definition, has actively sought work in the last 4 weeks and is available to start work in the next 2 weeks, or has found a job and is waiting to start in the next 2 weeks, is considered to be unemployed."

Having not sought work I am not unemployed, I just don't work. Previously I was a sahm, now I just don't work as my youngest is 18. Dh works and provides financially for us.

Full time mom?

Parents of children that don't have disabilities have no idea of the amount of work and stress and additional duties that goes into caring for a disabled child.

Toileting- most children are toilet trained by three. Some never are and require 'changing their whole lives'.

Feeding- some children never learn to feed themselves, every meal, every day.

Safety, some children require watching during all waking hours- their whole lives!

Sleep- some children require minimal sleep say 3/4/5 hours a night. There are medications thst can be given but not always and they don't always work. Some require turning regularly.

Therapies: physio, speech and occupational- every day, do many times per day for so long etc.

School- some children are do complex they can't have their needs met in school so they have to stay at home/ with their parents. This doesn't change when they become an adult. Some schools take children and can't cope, calling the parent to collect early most days or exclude.

Appointments- imagine dietitian, speech, ot, pt, school, doctors, hospital, social...... how are these to be managed while working? Not many employers are so understanding.

Paperwork- ehcp's, tribunals, pre-action letters, judicial reviews, annual reviews, dla, pip, blue badge applications, assessments etc

Fighting- for all of the above plus others not mentioned.

Parents of disabled children have a completely different experience to that of 'normal' children. So yes carers, which is why even the government pay carers allowance (a pittance and nowhere near that should be given).

Be grateful you don't understand this.

I just say I'm a sahm which is mostly true.

I am also a student and I do something relating to my old job on an ad hoc basis for the LA but I don't bother adding that.

All mothers are full time.

I say that I don’t work outside the home.

I contribute 3 young children who are cared for to society... I also do not claim any benefits, so no tax payer pays for me ( unless you include DH).. Bottom line is if I don't take care of our children he can't go to work, as a team we work and raise a family : both important roles and one isn't less worthy because of the monetary value it provides to the government.

Also I just say I'm at home whilst my kids are little.

All mothers are full time.

Quite. I don't cease to be a mother when I leave the house. Any more than SAHMs cease to be a mother when their children leave home.

@TTheMost carers recieve carers allowance which is only paid if you earn below a set amount and provide care for a certain number of hours. If carers all downed tools for their loved ones the nhs snd social care systems would break. The tonight show on itv from this week (imagine it's on catch up) cover this. Unpaid carers save the government millions.

Carers allowance equates to less than minimum wage, it does not cover the very basic costs of living. Many carers can't work because of caring for their loved one and provide more than even 40/50/60 hours a week care, many 24 hours a day, every day of the year with little or no respite. Many carers live in poverty because of this.

Have a watch of the tonight show from this week.

Um, doesn’t that go without saying? Of course you can identify yourself however you see fit but I think it’s pretty well understood that the term “stay-at-home mom” just means a woman whose primary job is caring for her family rather than working for a paycheck. All of the women I consider stay-at-home moms, myself included, are always on the go to kids’ activities, errands, playdates, school events, volunteering, exercising, socializing, etc. I’ve never met anyone who literally stays home but I guess how would I if they never go out?

Am I wrong? When I say I’m a stay-at-home mom am I giving the impression that I literally stay in my house?? I wish! (Not really but some days it would be nice!)

@NewsN It has something to do with that fact you aren’t paying taxes. Americans do both, Canadians do both. Why and Brits?

Aha. Your definition of whether or not someone's time is spent in a worthwhile manner is whether or not they're paying taxes?
And if they're not paying tax, they are not in a worthwhile job?

Is bringing up children a worthwhile job?

Americans do both, Canadians do both
As they do in Scandinavian countries - because their parental leave laws are geared to help both parents.

But also look at the research done in Scandinavian countries on the impact of child care in early years done mainly by parents vs childcare done in nurseries

And mother who do work have to fit it all in on the weekend!
I don't think anyone hears "SAHM" and assumes their life isn't pretty similar to what you describe.

Well it's certainly a mix bag of answers here! What I would like to know is who is asking you though? Surely context is key.

I'm not a SAHM but we need context OP! I think those going out of their way to dress up a SAHM is telling. If that's what you want to do own it. I can't imagine anyone cares that much!

Because if the parent doesn't give up their job/career in order to care for the child, it would cost the state an awful lot more for paid carers or specialist residental provision. As has been said, in many cases it is simply not possible to hold down any sort of employment while caring for a disabled child. A specialist residential place can cost £100k a year. So if the government can give a parent carer a few hundred pounds a month instead, I think the taxpayer is getting quite a good deal.

@CrappyBarbara exactly! I'm
A sahm who is ironically not often at home but I find 'mum who does school runs, food shopping, park, softplay, toddler swim
Class and play groups' doesn't roll off the tongue 😂sahm is the best term for anyone whose sole job is to look after her kids rather than paid work.

It's only a bun fight on MN I don't hear this IRL as such.

I am a housewife

Well the ones who take care of their own children, do the school runs etc would be more full time than those who need to place the kids in the care of others.