Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What should I do ? School bullying incidents and social media

158 replies

notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 06:24

Name changed as sensitive and sorry long but avoiding drip feed

My youngest , very introverted and small for his age , was according to the school the victim in a "unfortunate " incident during school.
During lunch he went to the toilets where a lare group of older ( Y10- Y12) boys were vaping.
He quickly turned round and exited but 4 boys gave chase and dragged him back into the toilets ( they were captured on camera tackling him and dragging him by the legs).
Then they held him up under the basin and wet him . Someone holding him slipped and he was dropped on the floor .
The whole incident was filmed and another kid saw it on tiktok within minutes and alerted a teacher.
The school nurse called me and I left work and went to collect DS, who was not unexpectedly completely distraught.
The safeguarding lead was in the school clinic and said he was sorry and the school would be taking serious action upon investigation
I took DS to A&E and he'd a fractured wrist and stitches on his chin..

I emailed the school ( closed by the time we left hospital) and updated on the injuries and stating that I wanted an immediate meeting with Head .

Next morning I phoned and was told by school secretary to be patient as they had to investigate the incident. At 2.30pm the school phoned and said sorry we are still trying to get to the bottom of this .

Wednesday ( I still had DS2 at home) I phoned again to be told Head and SLT were still looking into it and can I come in tomorrow with DS.

Thursday - DS and I went into school, he went to a counsellor and I went into meeting with Head and safeguarding person.
They basically said all involved were sorry and would apologise to DS for things getting "out of hand". Turns out 9 boys owned up to the "prank".

I asked what were the consequences for these boys and school said that was confidential.

I suspect none.

DS miraculously wanted to stay in school.

Later that afternoon he calls me in tears to come and get him.
Four of the same boys have taken his laptop and bag on his way to afterschool sport .
I phone school immediately and am told they will investigate.
Friday I go into school and wait to see Head but am told all of SLT are out at conference.

I am furious. Should I involve police ?

OP posts:
Original poster
notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 06:28

chess not sport

OP posts:
ShakesP123 · 04/02/2024 06:28

Yes. That’s not a prank it’s assault, if not ABH. The response from the school is outrageous.

noctiscaelum · 04/02/2024 06:29

I would.

VioletPickles · 04/02/2024 06:32

I’d be bloody fuming. Your poor DS. If the school aren’t doing anything, which appears to be the case, I’d contact the police.

and I’d also put it on socials without names etc. I’m sure the parents of the attackers have no idea how bad it was.

DelphiniumBlue · 04/02/2024 06:34

Does he know the names of the boys? If he does, go to the police.
If not, it’s a more difficult process to get the school to release their names, but I think you can get the police to request that from them.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 04/02/2024 06:35

Absolutely...the school do not seem to be taking this seriously...an apology is a joke!

Whatsinthebag2 · 04/02/2024 06:38

Yes , call the police.

All boys should have had a suspension including the ones who filmed it. Your son should then have been kept safe from those boys. For me, the second bullying incident would have been a second suspension. I also would not have referred to this as a prank.
Did the school take a statement from your son either incident ?

In all honesty though, can you just look at another school? Life is too short for this shite.

Original poster
notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 06:47

Did the school take a statement from your son either incident ?
I believe they did about the toilet incident but no not the second as he came straight home with me and wouldn't go in on Friday so I left him with my neighbour.

OP posts:
Nanamuffin · 04/02/2024 06:47

This is absolutely horrific and I am so very sorry for your son

This is not acceptable at all and is a serious safeguarding issue. Not just one issue. Multiple issues.
Is the school part of a multi academy trust? There will be a complaints procedure

You can contact the governing body, ofsted and police. DM if you want specific help.

and also this can hugely affect your son going forward and I hope he is a resilient young boy.

Theunamedcat · 04/02/2024 06:50

Has he got his laptop back yet? Report the theft

Do you still have the tiktok?

Bobbybobbins · 04/02/2024 06:52

This is awful. For context I am a secondary teacher and the perpetrators would definitely have at least been suspended at my school. We had a student permanently excluded for causing that level of injury in a fight though it was the last of a line of incidents.

carrotbagel · 04/02/2024 06:56

I would. And I'd report the school to ofsted. Just because it's kids and school doesn't make them above the law.

notmyrealuserna · 04/02/2024 06:57

I agree with everyone else. You have trusted school to manage this and they have failed. I would involve the police. And report to ofsted and the governing chair. For an assault like that I would have expected an exclusion which clearly didn't happen. Before your son returns you want to know how the school intends to manage this and safeguard your son. And it should not involve him having to moving classrooms or stay in at breaks etc. the impact should entirely be on those boys. And if the school fail you may need to look at moving schools if only for your son's mental health and safety.

Meadowfinch · 04/02/2024 07:05

Ask to speak to the HT again. Ask for copies of all statements and evidence collected. Insist that they tell you how this is being dealt with, a woolly 'oh, it's confidential' is not good enough. You want to know what they are doing to protect your child, while in their care, because it clearly isn't working.

Then call the police and report the assault. A broken bone is serious.

The sooner the police have the older boys in the criminal justice system, the sooner they will be dealt with properly, and they won't be free to do the same to someone else.

Longwhiskers · 04/02/2024 07:12

Fucking hell OP, I would hit the roof! Your son has been assaulted in a place where he should feel safe. It’s outrageous the school called it a prank. Imagine if someone did this to you at work - the police would very rightly be involved. Hope your son is coping ok xx

Original poster
notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 07:12

The school stated the tiktok had been taken down and if I'd a copy I was to delete it for privacy concerns. I don't have an account and nor does my son .
I really feel the whole incident is being downplayed and the.school is butt covering.
Aside the obvious assault, there's alot against school policy, which prohibits from filming others in school, phones are only allowed after hours and the vaping.
Also the toilet in question is supposed to be for Years 7 and 8 only.

OP posts:
TheCheeseTray · 04/02/2024 07:16

This isn’t a prank this is ABH the police need to be involved now and you need to push for them being charged. All of the boys involved should have been isolated pending investigation. Which takes 24 hours - why has your son not been able to go to school and been kept safe? This is serious - schools should be a safe place.

what about the vaping?
what about chasing him and dragging him back to assault him? What about his injuries?

RedHelenB · 04/02/2024 07:17

Do these boys still have your sons belongings? I'd ring the police and report a theft if so, I'm sure your son has some idea of their names, if not school will be obliged to tell them.

TheCheeseTray · 04/02/2024 07:18

Sorry yes also filming it, distributing the assault etc - that’s even more!

I would be getting the police and a solicitor I’m afraid. I would show the school I mean business

Original poster
notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 07:30

He's an airtag on his bag with the laptop case and it's showing in school but no we haven't got it back. I wasn't allowed past the office on Friday. I tried to be as calm as I could but really I was made to feel like the offender for trying to get justice for my son.

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 04/02/2024 07:33

This is awful. Not a prank. It was preplanned and really nasty. There was no remorse. There was actual bodily harm.
I think given that the school did a terrible job around this. Those boys need Suspending pending expulsion.
I think I would involve the police

dailyduel · 04/02/2024 07:36

Yes, I’d call the police OP. At least they can have it all documented.

Id go ballistic at school. I’d go there and wait and tell them you are not leaving until you’ve seen the head. You want no bullshit, no lies and no covering up. I think I’d be glad to have today to gather my thoughts and be prepared for tomorrow.

I hope your son is ok.

carrotbagel · 04/02/2024 07:37

notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 07:30

He's an airtag on his bag with the laptop case and it's showing in school but no we haven't got it back. I wasn't allowed past the office on Friday. I tried to be as calm as I could but really I was made to feel like the offender for trying to get justice for my son.

A crime has occurred and they don't give a shit. Get the police in.

theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 07:38

I'd call the police also. Your poor DS. Hope he's ok.

WandaWonder · 04/02/2024 07:40

I would call the police now and every time it happens