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Original poster

What should I do ? School bullying incidents and social media

158 replies

notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 06:24

Name changed as sensitive and sorry long but avoiding drip feed

My youngest , very introverted and small for his age , was according to the school the victim in a "unfortunate " incident during school.
During lunch he went to the toilets where a lare group of older ( Y10- Y12) boys were vaping.
He quickly turned round and exited but 4 boys gave chase and dragged him back into the toilets ( they were captured on camera tackling him and dragging him by the legs).
Then they held him up under the basin and wet him . Someone holding him slipped and he was dropped on the floor .
The whole incident was filmed and another kid saw it on tiktok within minutes and alerted a teacher.
The school nurse called me and I left work and went to collect DS, who was not unexpectedly completely distraught.
The safeguarding lead was in the school clinic and said he was sorry and the school would be taking serious action upon investigation
I took DS to A&E and he'd a fractured wrist and stitches on his chin..

I emailed the school ( closed by the time we left hospital) and updated on the injuries and stating that I wanted an immediate meeting with Head .

Next morning I phoned and was told by school secretary to be patient as they had to investigate the incident. At 2.30pm the school phoned and said sorry we are still trying to get to the bottom of this .

Wednesday ( I still had DS2 at home) I phoned again to be told Head and SLT were still looking into it and can I come in tomorrow with DS.

Thursday - DS and I went into school, he went to a counsellor and I went into meeting with Head and safeguarding person.
They basically said all involved were sorry and would apologise to DS for things getting "out of hand". Turns out 9 boys owned up to the "prank".

I asked what were the consequences for these boys and school said that was confidential.

I suspect none.

DS miraculously wanted to stay in school.

Later that afternoon he calls me in tears to come and get him.
Four of the same boys have taken his laptop and bag on his way to afterschool sport .
I phone school immediately and am told they will investigate.
Friday I go into school and wait to see Head but am told all of SLT are out at conference.

I am furious. Should I involve police ?

OP posts:
notknowledgeable · 04/02/2024 10:28

itsgettingweird · 04/02/2024 09:01

I had opposite.

When my ds was victim of knife crime in school they wouldn't get involved because it was a school matter.

We still made a statement and I made complaints that crimes only appeared to be crimes outside of educational establishments.

Show quote history

Then complain again - of course it is a police matter. If the police dont respond then make a complaint against the police -they are responsible for upholding the law

elizaregina · 04/02/2024 10:30

@Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit

No it wouldn't.

moose62 · 04/02/2024 10:31

I would report both incidents to the police. I would then email the Headteacher and Governors to let them know you have done so. I would also request they let you know, in writing, exactly what they have done so far and what they intend to do. I would also consider sending an outline to the council schools officer and if there is no satisfactory action from the police or school, the local paper.
If the school don't take appropriate action, the boys will never stop picking on your son, and others!

Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit · 04/02/2024 10:37

elizaregina · 04/02/2024 10:30

@Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit

No it wouldn't.

I am just going to reply one more time.

Like others, I want OP to know not to waste time with:

  • Going to governors without following he complaints procedure first. They cannot deal with it unless the procedure is followed.
  • Going to ofsted. They are a regulatory body and don't manage individual issues.
  • Calling the council. They don't deal with individual issues.

This needs to be dealt with by the school and the police. If both are ineffective, and so far the school has repeatedly failed to safeguard OP's son, so seems to be ineffective, then raise complaints within both organisations and follow them as far as possible.

I'm not saying this is a good situation. But circumventing the procedures isn't going to be effective.

If it were me, I wouldn't be sending DS in until the school could show how he would be safeguarded. The school would have fully lost my trust.

Original poster
notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 10:41

Thank you all
I've reported now and emailed school to say that it is now a police matter.
DS seems remarkably unfazed, quite pleased with his cast and bandages.

OP posts:
elizaregina · 04/02/2024 10:42

Op definitely go to the council and complain there they can trigger a high up investigation.

elizaregina · 04/02/2024 10:43

@notyetsinking

Please be aware the police maybe inefficient as well.

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/02/2024 10:45

I'd normally say push the school to deal with it properly but in this case, I think reporting to the police is the right option.

RenovationRenovationRenovation · 04/02/2024 10:46

The police is the right choice.

No harm in a safeguarding complaint to the school/ governors and Ofsted as well. They can’t get away with downplaying this.

Gather as much evidence as you can. Maybe inform the drs/ hospital treating him that you have informed the police.

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/02/2024 10:46

As others have said, look up all the policies and list the ones that haven't been followed.

notknowledgeable · 04/02/2024 10:49

notyetsinking · 04/02/2024 10:41

Thank you all
I've reported now and emailed school to say that it is now a police matter.
DS seems remarkably unfazed, quite pleased with his cast and bandages.

I'm so glad you have, well done. I am glad your son is showing such resiliance, but be aware, the shock might take time, possibly years even to manifest.

Angelsrose · 04/02/2024 10:57

Please contact the police. Best of luck

LeonoraFlorence · 04/02/2024 11:09

Your poor boy. Glad you have contacted the police. Had this happened anywhere else, it would be a police matter. The school have not adequately safeguarded your son as it has happened again the minute he returned.

Whoopaday · 04/02/2024 11:10

TheOccupier · 04/02/2024 09:53

Go to the police station in person today. Do you/DS know the names of any of the boys who did this?

Just a heads up that most police stations aren’t manned like they used to be, especially on a weekend. And even in a manned/reception type one you’ll be asked to wait etc.

So phoning up 101 means you get given a time to come in and speak to a police officer or they come to you, no waiting around.

sazzy5 · 04/02/2024 11:12

Your poor DS and you, that is horrendous. There is no way that I would want those DC in school with mine after that. Weren’t they excluded?
I’m not sure the police will do much, but it should give the school a kick to do more. These sort of incidents are often the start of worse behaviour and the school should be supporting you and your DS and sorting out the bullies who have actually physically harmed your child.
Good luck.

BranstonPickleandPeanutButter · 04/02/2024 11:13

Poor pet, I hope he feels better soon. I have 3 vulnerable autistic children and would be furious if this happened and the lacklustre response from the school.

Neolara · 04/02/2024 11:19

Ionacat · 04/02/2024 07:51

Take a three pronged attack with this.

  1. Report it to the police. They can be really helpful.

  2. Find the bullying, behaviour, safeguarding and complaints policy. Write a formal complaint under whichever stage of the policy it says. Quote policies and where they haven’t been followed and make sure you make it clear what you want as a resolution. If the policies aren’t clear, then point this out. You won’t find out what happens to the boys but generally you should be able to infer it.

I would also quote definition of a prank - a practical joke or mischievous act. There is no way this could be described as that - it implies both sides see it as such.

Then follow the complaints policy as necessary and escalate upwards. It eventually gets to DfE and Ofsted but you have to exhausted the complaints policy first.

  1. I wouldn’t go up the school and go ballistic and refuse to move until you’ve seen the head. It’s a busy secondary school, the head may not even be in. You could keep your DS off until a member of SLT/head meets with you and explains what they have put in place to keep your DS safe and away from these boys and to get his belongings back.

Please ignore the phone Ofsted, email the governors brigade. Nothing will happen unless you go through the formal complaints procedure.

I’m so sorry and hope your DS is okay.

I'm a chair of governors. I would do the above.

If you want to make a complete the school, it's important that you follow the complaints policy to the letter. The policy should be on the website.

ButtonMoon5 · 04/02/2024 11:21

Yes, definitely get the police involved. Your child has been assaulted (a fracture and stitches are not a minor thing!) and he has been a victim of theft.

It is astonishing the boys were not suspended after the first incident. I do not understand why the school couldn't tell you the punishment given as you needed to know it was dealt with. I don't believe it is a confidentiality thing.

I really hope your son recovers. The school should be prepared to offer him lots of additional support.

Delphiniumandlupins · 04/02/2024 11:40

I'm so glad you have reported this to the police. The idea that the assault resulting in injury was just a prank is not acceptable. At least nine, much bigger and older, boys were involved. A few days later, four of them rob your son - which shows how seriously they took whatever consequences the school imposed. I also think the school could have contacted a member of the SLT at their conference if they had thought it was serious enough. Follow the complaints procedure but don't let this go. Without drama, your son needs to know that you are fighting for him.

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/02/2024 11:43

I find it hard to believe that all members of SLT were out of school. Even if they were, there would have been someone designated to deal with issues that day.

blueskies23 · 04/02/2024 12:17

Sue the school for damages.

easylikeasundaymorn · 04/02/2024 12:33

Shocking response from the head and safeguarding person.
If they were out shopping in their nearest town, and a group of men tackled them, dragged them into the toilet, fractured their wrist and cut their face to the extent they needed stitches, then stole their wallet and laptop, would they laugh it off as a prank? Nah they'd be on the phone to 999!

notknowledgeable · 04/02/2024 12:46

Please let us know what happens

Underthesea5 · 04/02/2024 12:47

Involve the police. This is assault and the fractured wrist makes it ABH.

The boys are above the age of criminal responsibility. The police will be able to retrieve the video evidence and prosecute.

Wtf is wrong with schools that they think they are able to 'investigate' violent crime just because it happened on their premises.

Newbalancebeam · 04/02/2024 14:53

An interesting point about sueing for damages. Is that possible? Not that that should be the first line of thought, but who knows if there’ll be long term damage or permanent facial scarring? Maybe one to consider later. Also good that you will have medical records detailing all injuries. I still can’t believe how awful the school have been here. This wasn’t a one off between two equally ‘matched’ year sevens, it was a sustained assault/torture by a gang of much larger students who should have known better. Why these feral idiots think they have the right to behave like this is beyond me. And then to steal from your son later, so theft as well to add into the mix. Appalling.