What should I do ? School bullying incidents and social media

[notyetsinking]

Name changed as sensitive and sorry long but avoiding drip feed

My youngest , very introverted and small for his age , was according to the school the victim in a "unfortunate " incident during school.
During lunch he went to the toilets where a lare group of older ( Y10- Y12) boys were vaping.
He quickly turned round and exited but 4 boys gave chase and dragged him back into the toilets ( they were captured on camera tackling him and dragging him by the legs).
Then they held him up under the basin and wet him . Someone holding him slipped and he was dropped on the floor .
The whole incident was filmed and another kid saw it on tiktok within minutes and alerted a teacher.
The school nurse called me and I left work and went to collect DS, who was not unexpectedly completely distraught.
The safeguarding lead was in the school clinic and said he was sorry and the school would be taking serious action upon investigation
I took DS to A&E and he'd a fractured wrist and stitches on his chin..

I emailed the school ( closed by the time we left hospital) and updated on the injuries and stating that I wanted an immediate meeting with Head .

Next morning I phoned and was told by school secretary to be patient as they had to investigate the incident. At 2.30pm the school phoned and said sorry we are still trying to get to the bottom of this .

Wednesday ( I still had DS2 at home) I phoned again to be told Head and SLT were still looking into it and can I come in tomorrow with DS.

Thursday - DS and I went into school, he went to a counsellor and I went into meeting with Head and safeguarding person.
They basically said all involved were sorry and would apologise to DS for things getting "out of hand". Turns out 9 boys owned up to the "prank".

I asked what were the consequences for these boys and school said that was confidential.

I suspect none.

DS miraculously wanted to stay in school.

Later that afternoon he calls me in tears to come and get him.
Four of the same boys have taken his laptop and bag on his way to afterschool sport .
I phone school immediately and am told they will investigate.
Friday I go into school and wait to see Head but am told all of SLT are out at conference.

I am furious. Should I involve police ?

Press charges for the assault because that's what it was.

Sorry your son was so hurt in school, yes report it to the police, and the governors and the Local authority. I'm horrified this was allowed to happen and dismissed as a prank.

Assault and theft. Call the police and report to ofsted

Absolutely involve the police. Your son was seriously assaulted then robbed. This is too serious to be left with the school, its also not in the schools best interests to call the police, so why would they?

Yes, I'd go to the police.

I’d go to the police too.

police definitely. School had a chance to stop this and whatever they did escalated it!! Not acceptable. Your poor son I hope he is ok and getting the support he needs ( not just from you). Thank god some one saw and reported the tik tok.

There's lots these boys have done

• used toilet for Year 7 & 8
• vaping
• bullying & intimidation
• ABH resulting in broken bone
• filming without consent & distribution of clip (it's likely on Snapchat too)
• targeting him again
• stealing his laptop

He must be distraught & it must have really knocked his confidence.

I'm astounded school aren't taking it more seriously. They should have at least looked for the laptop & sent someone from SLT to liaise with you. My guess is these boys are a known problem & they don't know how to handle them.

Write letter to head and include chair of governers & also alert ofsted if nothing is done.

I would want to know where these boys lived & contact their parents.

Also agree with involving police. You would if it happened anywhere else.

Absolutely go to the police and school governers. The school’s reaction is unbelievable.

I’m so sorry that this has happened to your son and hope he is ok. I would also get a few sessions with a private therapist who can help him work his way through any social issues that might be coming his way and to help with any trauma or worries coming from the assault. My son always cautioned me against getting involved with petty bullying incidents (social suicide, apparently), but this is definitely not that and it needs to be taken seriously by all concerned. I’m pretty sure also that his peers in school will agree that the attackers’ behaviour is completely out or order and shouldn’t be allowed so he won’t need to worry about that side of things.

Good luck with the school. You’re absolutely right to be furious.

Take a three pronged attack with this.

1. Report it to the police. They can be really helpful.

2. Find the bullying, behaviour, safeguarding and complaints policy. Write a formal complaint under whichever stage of the policy it says. Quote policies and where they haven’t been followed and make sure you make it clear what you want as a resolution. If the policies aren’t clear, then point this out. You won’t find out what happens to the boys but generally you should be able to infer it.

I would also quote definition of a prank - a practical joke or mischievous act. There is no way this could be described as that - it implies both sides see it as such.

Then follow the complaints policy as necessary and escalate upwards. It eventually gets to DfE and Ofsted but you have to exhausted the complaints policy first.

3. I wouldn’t go up the school and go ballistic and refuse to move until you’ve seen the head. It’s a busy secondary school, the head may not even be in. You could keep your DS off until a member of SLT/head meets with you and explains what they have put in place to keep your DS safe and away from these boys and to get his belongings back.

Please ignore the phone Ofsted, email the governors brigade. Nothing will happen unless you go through the formal complaints procedure.

I’m so sorry and hope your DS is okay.

If this was my child I'd have involved the police immediately, with the hospital report and told the local papers, and named the children who did it. I'd be looking to press charges through the police for assault unless they schools. I'd absolutely follow it up with the parents, their employers etc until something was done.

If you don't make a fuss they won't do anything.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Yes - call the police! I am slt in a school and always advise parents they have the right to invoke the police so I'm surprised you weren't! This is assault not a prank and the fact those boys were on school shows the school are not taking it seriously! They should have been suspended at the very least.

Just adding to the police voices. Not the campus cops if there are any, the police station.
My colleague found in a similar incident at their school, the campus cops were too caught up with the school and the focus was on the wellbeing of the perpetrators who were given constant passes because of 'socio-emotive difficulties' I.e violent little shits.
Your poor boy.

This is absolutely disgraceful, your poor son. Yup as everyone else has said, police involvement.

My child experienced similar and was filmed and shared on social media.

I 100% regret not going to police. At the time child begged me not to but although the school did deal with it as best they could, the bullies still found their moments afterwards and child was terrified of going anywhere into town or outside of school for many months afterwards. It affected their friendships as bullies just targeted the friends.

I regret not standing up for my child in the strongest way possible.

Tell the school you are going to get police involved. My guess is they will start taking you more seriously. I hope your son recovers and feels able to return to school. It should be a safe place. Vaping is a massive issue. Filming an assault usually results in suspension. The perpetrators should be ashamed of themselves.

I agree that the way to go is through the formal complaints procedure, plus report to the police because it was assault and theft, if they took his laptop too.

The governors would be a stage further along, after you’ve followed the complaints procedure, depending on whether you’re satisfied with the outcome of that. If it’s a MAT, report to the chief executive too.

You need to know what the school intends to do to keep your son safe, whilst he is in their care. But, aside from this, I’d be looking for an another school.

Not sure why you’re even asking. Of course you go to the police and you get a solicitor and you do the utmost you can to ensure each and every one of the perpetrators is punished. I don’t work with older children, but anything involving a broken bone in early years means we automatically have to inform Ofsted so that’s worth checking into as well. I’d probably also go to the press for good measure, but that can backfire. My child would not be returning to that school.

yes please go to the police - this is two serious assaults

tbh the school probably WANT you to go to the police - this is above their paygrade -they are not law enforcement

Years 10 to 12? So well and truly old enough to know better. That sort of behaviour at that age is very unusual (IME) and very, very concerning. The school's response is bafflingly weak and appalling. A serious assault and theft. Absolutely the police.

The students should have at least been suspended for the first incident.

They should also have been in isolation on their return.

This would have been treated very seriously in any school I have worked in.

Thanks to everyone who responded for your concerns.
My son is in Y7 and was fine with school up to this point .
I did ask the safeguarding head if the police would be involved and he quite firmly said it wasn't recommended and the school would follow its protocols.
I'm not sure if any suspensions took place. Perhaps those responsible were out Tuesday and Wednesday but certainly some were back on Friday.

I would have expected a perm ex for that level of injury. I'd involve the police. School are not safeguarding your son. Hope he's ok.

They fractured his wrist and cut his face to the point where he needed stitches? Of course you should call the police. Little shits.