What should I do ? School bullying incidents and social media

[notyetsinking]

Name changed as sensitive and sorry long but avoiding drip feed

My youngest , very introverted and small for his age , was according to the school the victim in a "unfortunate " incident during school.
During lunch he went to the toilets where a lare group of older ( Y10- Y12) boys were vaping.
He quickly turned round and exited but 4 boys gave chase and dragged him back into the toilets ( they were captured on camera tackling him and dragging him by the legs).
Then they held him up under the basin and wet him . Someone holding him slipped and he was dropped on the floor .
The whole incident was filmed and another kid saw it on tiktok within minutes and alerted a teacher.
The school nurse called me and I left work and went to collect DS, who was not unexpectedly completely distraught.
The safeguarding lead was in the school clinic and said he was sorry and the school would be taking serious action upon investigation
I took DS to A&E and he'd a fractured wrist and stitches on his chin..

I emailed the school ( closed by the time we left hospital) and updated on the injuries and stating that I wanted an immediate meeting with Head .

Next morning I phoned and was told by school secretary to be patient as they had to investigate the incident. At 2.30pm the school phoned and said sorry we are still trying to get to the bottom of this .

Wednesday ( I still had DS2 at home) I phoned again to be told Head and SLT were still looking into it and can I come in tomorrow with DS.

Thursday - DS and I went into school, he went to a counsellor and I went into meeting with Head and safeguarding person.
They basically said all involved were sorry and would apologise to DS for things getting "out of hand". Turns out 9 boys owned up to the "prank".

I asked what were the consequences for these boys and school said that was confidential.

I suspect none.

DS miraculously wanted to stay in school.

Later that afternoon he calls me in tears to come and get him.
Four of the same boys have taken his laptop and bag on his way to afterschool sport .
I phone school immediately and am told they will investigate.
Friday I go into school and wait to see Head but am told all of SLT are out at conference.

I am furious. Should I involve police ?

It’s not a breach of confidentiality to say what sanctions they receive; schools really need to understand what is confidential and what isn’t. they can’t for example say x students mum is ill so he is struggling but they can absolutely discuss what happened in full and the consequences, what the plan is going forward to keep your son safe. Why on earth weren’t they given a fixed term exclusion?
Also what is this thing about staff thinking go to the police but not being allowed to say it? Of course they can, it’s a public right.

The school can't follow it's complaints procedure unless they have a complaint!

Ofsted aren't the right people for this.
The governors aren't the right people.
The council aren't the right people.

Go back to the school. Unless the next meeting is significantly better, raise a formal complaint.

Contact the police. Take photos of his injuries before they fade. Ask for copies of the medical records from A&E.

Your poor boy this has really upset me so I can't imagine how you both are feeling. I'd call the police, he's been assaulted and now had expensive items stolen and the school aren't reacting quickly enough - they should of been hauled in to the office of the deputy head teacher that same day and the items recovered and returned. I feel like schools just don't punish as well these days. A boy who fancied me at school would not leave me alone, I wasn't interested and he started getting physical and one day shoved me hard into a door and I was taken to hospital with a fractured wrist, he was suspended for a week instantly then made to write me a letter of apology.

I doubt they'd be charged but maybe a visit to their homes will make them and their parents realise the seriousness of it, the horrible little thugs. I'd also be writing to ofsted, the governors and the head of education for your local authority - if you google your area and head of education his or her personal email should come up. Personally, I'd be going at this as forcefully as I could, it's already gone too far the first time and they clearly haven't learned for the second incident to have happened.

Phone 101. Police stations aren’t manned as they used to be, there is no one waiting to talk to. 101 will take the details and either arrange a time for you to go into a station or send someone to your house. You can arrange with them for DS to be there or not depending on what you and they think.

100% agree that police need to be involved. This was a repeated attack on camera with hospital treatment needed and they did nothing? And the bulbs felt emboldened enough knowing they were doing it alon camera and repeated it? No words.

the school are shit

@Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit

The point is, op has had enough stress what has happened first time.

The op shouldn't have to go down a complaints procedure because the school should have already effectively dealt with the perps.

Now her son has endured a second incident I'd say the school has had more than enough chances to act... Op doesn't need to waste time filling in forms when her son is in danger.

It's more than obvious that this situation is unacceptable.

I’m an experienced governor and I know how complaints work. The complaints policy is there for a reason - Ofsted and the DfE will expect you to use it. It’s on their websites - we expect you to have used the school complaints policy. Complaints and their responses are scrutinised via Ofsted inspections and a complaint is much more powerful if you’ve followed the correct procedure. People get confused between the procedure for Early years and schools. It is different - you report much more quickly to Ofsted in early years than schools. Personally I think that’s confusing and unhelpful because people don’t realise that it works differently and advise accordingly.

As a governor (and I’m a safeguarding one) I can not get involved until the right point in the complaints procedure which is governor panel and I have to have no prior knowledge of the complaint.

I am appalled at the school’s response here and have advised the OP accordingly.

So sorry this is happening to your son OP. With that sort of injury that should automatically be a police matter. It’s assault. Talk to the police today, don’t wait for any further action from the school they sound useless.

BTW ofsted huge push at the moment is bullying and safe guarding

@notyetsinking i always find thinking about things that happen in schools and how to respond as in what would happen if they were adults working in an office? So if adult males had dragged another adult male into the toilets to simulate drowning them and broken their wrist and cut their face, and then those adults stayed in the office after being caught in camera and then the adults stole another’s laptop in the office? Read it as adults and it’s horrific, not that it is less so as children. But shows what the school is ignoring. 100% police

@Ionacat.. This goes beyond any normal complaint though and the seriousness and severity of what her son has endured will be recognised.
The second attack speaks for itself re the school action.

@Whoopaday. Totally agree, it's a bizarre mindset to call this pranking.

Report it to the police - they cannot say it is being dealt with by the school as it is assault -there were broken bones and it was filmed. The police can demand a copy. If you explain as you have above, and request that a police offer accompanies you at the next meeting (maybe they will be able to do this, maybe not) then at least they can see that the school is not taking it seriously. A broken bone and stitches and then they attack him and steal his laptop the next day! Of course your son does not want to go back to school. He must be terrified. It is outrageous and you have been more than willing to let the school deal with it. They have not - so now it is time to take the next step. His attackers clearly don't care what the school does to them - maybe they will listen to the police. Personally, I would want charges against the ones that stole the laptop as they did not learn from the school punishment the day before and will keep on hurting your son.

@Ionacat I understand there is 'school policy' but with the level of assault its beyond school management, absolutely police matter.
I'm hoping the school wouldn't impede a police investigation?

The bottom line is the school has quite obviously failed in it's duty of care to ops son.
A complaints producure form isn't needed to prove this

Call the police. It’s a serious assault. They’re old enough to have consequences for their actions. The school had their opportunity to respond appropriately and severely and they didn’t. As a result the boys feel untouchable to carry on doing what they want, which in this case is bullying your child. Maybe the consequence of police involvement will have more of an impact. If the school push back on you involving the police then you can highlight that with their failure to safeguard, lack of information sharing and inability to have achieved any kind of change of the boys you had no choice but to safeguard your child. Tell the school you’ll be making a complaint and you want contact details for the governors. Also ask them to print a copy of their anti bullying policy for you. I hope you and your son are ok.

Call or go in - this is serious assault & theft - you need it taken seriously and not swept under the carpet by school.

Wouldn’t bother with the anti bullying policy they are useless.

A complaints producure form isn't needed to prove this

I didn’t say fill in a form - I said read the policy - it’s an eye opener for most parents

Ofsted just do not investigate individual complaints. Reporting to them is not going to get any sort of outcome for this distressing incident. Police, then use complaints policy.

Go to the police (phone and ask them if you should come in) and complain to the school using the school’s complaint policy.
The school had their chance to deal with this and didn’t. Time to escalate.
I am a secondary teacher.

Go to the police station in person today. Do you/DS know the names of any of the boys who did this?

Yes this is a serious assault and therefore in my first post I suggested three things - police, formal complaint and a conversation with SLT/head about keeping the child safe.

There is only one procedure for complaints and that is the school complaints policy. It doesn’t matter that this is more serious, there isn’t a separate one for serious incidents. And this is precisely why I’ve advocated using it. Doing anything else risks the school being able to wriggle out of it as you’ve not made it formal. Schools are very much tied to complaints policy and on the whole take it very seriously. We certainly do on a governing panel when they get to us and no we don’t always side with the head. You might not like that or feel frustrated by it, but that’s the way it works.

Iona my point is she shouldn't need to trigger action via complaints producure. This is an urgent fluid situation that needs immediate action.

This isn't suitable for long winded institutional beurocratic nonsense.

If my 90 year old gran had been attacked, her wrist broken and possessions stolen by a bunch of louts, police would be involved and the little shits arrested and charged. So why shouldn’t your poor lad get the same justice just because it happened in school.
Deal with this yourself OP. Forget the school. They just want to cover their arses.

@Mariposistaaa imagine just being told to fill in a complaints form to get anywhere!

Well that's not what you said. You gave advice that would waste OP's time.

Raising a complaint doesn't require a form.