Who would you garotte with their own intestines?

[drspouse]

In case you are hard of humour, this is LIGHT HEARTED.
An MP has suggested this punishment for fly tipping.
Who's on your list?
I've got:
Anyone who suggests white polos for school uniform, for crimes against stain remover.
Nigel Farage, for being Nigel Farage.
Social workers from the early help team who say "what do you think you need as a family" and then say "oh we don't offer that, all we offer is parenting courses", for raising parents' hope.
Who's next?

I want to garotte my inner procrastinator!
I want to garotte my unrealistic expectations!
Finally I want to garotte all the traffic on the road, so I can finally experience the ecstasy of being the sole ruler of the tarmac kingdom!

@nevertrustanyoneagain i have 😊

Posters on my local Facebook blaming everything on refugees and cyclists.

The taxi drivers who shit at the entrance to the local woods, then leave it there, on top of a pile of leaves with a bit of shitty rag on top, so you're in no doubt it's human

Runners who use tiny overgrown paths and expect walkers to jump into the brambles/ditch so that their Important Run is not interrupted.

The president of Russia

also anyone who dismisses other people views and opinions by referring to them as woke, leftie, millennial etc.

The Royal Family. Especially Prince Charles and sons. Plus all the hangers on and all the groveling politicians who only suck up to them in order to get their Honors.

anyone who dismisses other people views and opinions by referring to them as gammon, woke, rightie, leftie, millennial, backwards, hippy, too low IQ to know, too privileged to know etc.

Crikey, what an image OP!!!

To be honest, anyone i dislike that much I’d rather be taken care of at a distance by someone else. Garrotting with their intestines using my own bare hands just feels too… intimate?

Trump, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, Cummings and Putin
that’ll do for a good start

Anyone who thinks "OK Boomer" is a witty retort. Fuck right off, you entitled little twat.

The guy who throws beer cans out of his car every weekend on our beautiful country lane and that I have to pick up - I hope I never catch you

I see where you're coming from, but if you garrott those people with their own intestines, what do we have left for people who refer to their opponents as Leftards/Libtards? I guess you just need to do the same but make the process slower.

People who park in disabled bays but don't have a blue card. Death to them all. Last week I took my DC to Disability cricket and there are 8 disabled bays directly outside the centre. Only 2 cars parked in these bays displayed a blue badge and no other parking available in the car park at all, so we had to go home missing his cricket session that we drove 20 miles to attend.

People who don't use headphones on public transport

People who talk through films at the cinema

And all lorry drivers who move into the overtaking lane to overtake another lorry then instead of overtaking crawls along at 45 miles an hour alongside the other lorry for miles and miles.

@Foxblue all the ignorant, 'my small little world is law and anything outside that is weird and wrong' fuckers

Yes! At the expense, regretfully, of insulting innocent animals, I find there is often something bovine about these people, staring at us with their mouths pursed like dogs arses. God, I could choke them so hard with their innards.

... and breathe.

People who park in parent and child spaces without a child, a child old enough to hop it the car on their own without a problem or people who sit in the car with the kids while one parent goes in the shop.

People who say literally all the time

The people who park like idiots

People who put used matches back in the match box.

People who stand on the wrong side of the tube escalator or who walk down it slowly while staring at their phone.

Anyone whose phone / electronic gadget is audible on public transport. See also coffee shops / cafes / restaurants.

Manspreaders.

Anyone who drives a BMW, Audi or Mercedes.

My SiL 😂

She just burns my head out, that line in friends where joey says he could rip his arm off just to have something to throw at Janice? It's how I feel about her.

Not busy people who go on and on about how busy they are.
I find it disrespectful to people who are actually busy.
Just say I'm tired today, not sure why as I haven't done much but I'm tired. Fine. Don't announce that you are incredibly busy because it's dishonest.

You need those extra sticky stickers.