Who would you garotte with their own intestines?

[drspouse]

In case you are hard of humour, this is LIGHT HEARTED.
An MP has suggested this punishment for fly tipping.
Who's on your list?
I've got:
Anyone who suggests white polos for school uniform, for crimes against stain remover.
Nigel Farage, for being Nigel Farage.
Social workers from the early help team who say "what do you think you need as a family" and then say "oh we don't offer that, all we offer is parenting courses", for raising parents' hope.
Who's next?

Joe Biden.

Oh yeah.

I'll expand that to 'people who think it's their god given right to have their dog off the lead'. Mad dog coming up and growling aggressively and snapping at young kids in the park the other day. I said sternly to the owners that if it's a dog who is aggressive to kids it needs to be on a leash in a park. The absolute HORROR of their response as though I'd told them to burn the thing alive. Woman in tears, man hand-wringing, calling me inhumane... christ the animal is threatening toddlers, I don't care if its a fancy poodly schmoodly or 'just excited' put it on a lead and let it out somewhere there aren't kids (or sheep) all over the place.

Gotta be a vote for Vladimir Putin somewhere here

People who use Baby on Board car stickers

OP you said "light hearted" then went straight in with Nigel Farage. So that triggers the usual chirps of Boris, Rees-Mogg, Trump [insert eye roll emoji]

Give it a few minutes and someone will chuck in Brexit voters.

+1 for people that don't indicate at roundabouts.

Just want to say 'he's autistic you fucking normie' has brought me so much joy. Hoping all the ignorant, 'my small little world is law and anything outside that is weird and wrong' fuckers bang their toes on furniture every day for eternity.

To add to the thread: everyone responsible for the interest rate madness - you have caused a world of pain to people who carefully financially planned for bad scenarios and then ended up fucked anyway.

Drivers who don’t indicate

People who don’t pick up after their dog or worse, bag it and then leave the bag or tie it to a tree

Pronouns - nobody cares whether you’re he/she/them/zem/whatever

Cyclists who fly along shared paths, ringing their officious little bells a nanosecond before they reach you at full speed as you scrabble to get kids and dogs right up against the side of the path or into the undergrowth. The ones who don’t use their bell but do the above deserve a slow garrotting.

People who call dinner supper

Cyclist whizzing through town centre-passing several "no cycling" signs.
Ditto for electric scooter users in very pedestrianised areas

We have major work going on at the end of the road - Thames Water are digging up a piece of land to lay pipes for a new build of flats. Despite there being big yellow signs every 20 yards for about half a mile in both directions saying ROAD CLOSED I've lost count of the number of drivers who merrily tootle along our road before seeing the (extensive with very large pieces of plant) work and have to turn around. If they aren't seeing those signs what else on the road are they oblivious to?

Actually I know the answer. Round my way it's red lights.

Anyway - back to the lighthearted.

People who are astonished they have to pay at the end of their purchase being rung up and spend ages searching for purse/wallet/card/money

Had one in Waitrose today. That's OK, love, take your time packing and paying. We're just extras in your performance, after all.

At the end of the day we're all sinners and all deserve garottoing with our own intestines!

Did her up and then garrott her

I'm a reasonable woman, so I wouldn't disembowel every single Londoner who drives a ludicrously oversized SUV. Just the ones who claim that the reason I object to them is "jealousy".

@Foxblue @LauderSyme YES to the people with unsolicited opinions on autistic kids!

Me and my son eye rollingly call them 'RBWs' (regular brain weirdos) and laugh it off now.

The architects of Brexit, the water company people who authorise dumping effluent in our rivers and seas, the arse-covering bastards responsible for the Horizon disaster, Johnson and co who let Covid run riot through care homes and hospitals while partying their arses off, every single police officer who covered up the sexual assaults and rapes and domestic violence for there fellow officers (those officers go straight to hell without garrotting or anything, just straight to the fires.)

Also offspring who put clean clothes in the washing basket because they couldn't be arsed hanging them up and then the dog slept on the clothes.
<insert Paddington Hard Stare here>

Donald Trump with one end and Vladimir Putin with the other.

My ex coven. All backstabbing bastards.

This sounds like it should have its own thread!

I would love too, but its too identifying and too raw. I was/am the High Priestess and covens are supposed to be family.

Oh there's another one. People who come out with 'you're just jealous.'

@nevertrustanyoneagain I'd love a coven.

Are you looking for new recruits?

yes pm me

Unpopular opinion alert

Dog/cat breeders and those who buy from them. How would you like to be forced to have multiple babies and then be forced to give them up as soon as they reach 8 weeks old?

Adopt a rescue animal people!

Deffo people who serve hot food on cold plates!

Frequently seen on Dubai holiday threads.

I want to garotte my loud and unruly alarm clock!

One year I had a stopover in Dubai on the way back from Australia. Didn't see the point of the place - it's too hot, soulless and I hate shopping so the chance to spend a lot of money passed me by. I did discover ful medames, though, so it wasn't all a waste.