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Original poster

If you suddenly had to go into hospital for a few weeks...

151 replies

Goldbar · 30/01/2024 14:15

Would your child get to school on time?
Would their packed lunch and snack be made in the morning just how they like it/would school lunch be booked and paid for on time?
Would they have the correct, clean uniform?
Would their reading and homework be done?
Would they have everything they needed in their school bag?
Would whoever was caring for them be aware of any special workshops/school trips that were happening?
Would they be picked up on time? Would whoever was caring for them have the school office details to ring if running late?

Similar details for nursery-age children.

How much organisation would be required on your part to make sure the above was achieved? Would it all happen smoothly, allowing you to recuperate in peace with an easy mind? Or would you hurriedly be messaging the after-school club details or school lunch account login as the anaesthetist arrived to put you under?

OP posts:
loveulotslikejellytots · 30/01/2024 14:26

DH would be fine with 90% of that I reckon. DD's lunch probably wouldn't be up to her exacting standards 😂 DH always forgets she doesn't like butter. But he knows their routines, school pick up and drop off times etc he does swimming lessons anyway.

If I was in hospital I don't imagine he'd be at work (emergency services - shifts which he couldn't do without me at home). So he'd be off on some kind of leave, at home all day, he'd be elbow deep in bleach. He does a lot of the cleaning anyway, so he'd probably be glad of the time to get stuff done.

Their hair would be like a birds nests though. Dd1 can do her own pretty much but both need it plaiting for bed time and no matter how much he practises it's still not quite right.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/01/2024 14:31

They’d be ok. I had to travel at short notice last year and they were just fine. Nothing missed as far as I’m aware!

Ponderingwindow · 30/01/2024 14:31

Dd is 14, but has ASD so requires a bit more management than the average 14yo. Dh would
manage. There would definitely be more bickering than normal, but everything would get done.

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Mrsjayy · 30/01/2024 14:32

I don't have school children anymore but when I did I was in hospital a couple of times for a few weeks and Dh managed fine.

Windymcwindyson · 30/01/2024 14:32

When I had ds 9 years ago we were in hospital for a week. House ran like usual. And the dc weren't even dh's.

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/01/2024 14:34

Yes mine would be fine, might be a bit of juggling with work and school but that’s more about time management than capability. I share care with my ex who is well able to do practical care.

ColdButSunny · 30/01/2024 14:35

Yes, although mine are secondary age so they do most of it themselves. I assume you're thinking about primary school children?

Stewiegriffenstimemachine · 30/01/2024 14:37

Been there, done that sadly.

I didn’t even think about it. Everything was fine. Dh is a grown adult, he can manage his own home and children without me, just as I could without him. if he couldn’t, I doubt I would be with him. I couldn’t take the stress of living with another adult but everything being on me.

Having said that, I have known women who are married to absolute idiots who would do none of those things. I had one friend who’s dh didn’t even know what/where the school was that their child went to.

CurlewKate · 30/01/2024 14:39

When mine were that age everything would be done (because I had children with a grown up) except probably DD's hair. She had plaits, but she never let him try, so it would be just a pony tail. It'd be clean and brushed, though.

PuttingDownRoots · 30/01/2024 14:39

DH would either have to WFH or Mil move in. But everything would happen, except school payments as only I have the ParentPay account. But if I wasn't capable of logging onto the account, I'm pretty sure DH could contact the schools to ask them to send him the details on how to do so! Same with school emails... simply asking the school.

The WFH bit is because he is a weekly commuter, 250 miles away. Hence why I have all the day to day administration set up.

Lavender14 · 30/01/2024 14:42

Ds is 14 months and in nursery. Dh would have no problem with any of that. He might not do it EXACTLY like I'd do it but it would be done well enough to not be an issue for ds or nursery and require no planning from me. But he's an active and involved co parent who's used to doing his half of the parenting.

ditalini · 30/01/2024 14:42

It would all be completely fine, and anything that didn't run so smoothly (favourite snack? 🙄) would likely be minor in comparison to having a family member suddenly rushed into hospital.

gingercat02 · 30/01/2024 14:44

Yes, and DH has done all of it perfectly when I had to go to care for my family abroad on several occasions over the years.

QforCucumber · 30/01/2024 14:45

Kids are 8 and 4 here -

Yes he does drop off already twice a week now anyway
School lunches aren't always paid on time by me anyway hah! but packed lunch would be made for little
Yes uniforms would be fine
Homework and reading are automatic when they walk in the door before being allowed screen time and don't generally need reminders anyway so yes - DH is actually more on it over these than I am.
Older one is responsible for his own bag so yes
Likely not - but neither am I half the time, have to check the calendar daily in case one of us has added something
They'd be picked up from the childminder as normal, DH does this most of the week anyway as he gets home sooner than I do
I don't know if DH has the childminders number actually, I know he has schools

How much organisation would be required on your part to make sure the above was achieved? not a lot, I work out of the house more than DH so he already does a lot of the things
Would it all happen smoothly, allowing you to recuperate in peace with an easy mind? I think there'd be a few calls to double check some things but generally ok
Or would you hurriedly be messaging the after-school club details or school lunch account login as the anaesthetist arrived to put you under? I'd like to hope that I'd only be 'under' for a few hours and things can wait until later

DreamingInPhosphorescence · 30/01/2024 14:47

We would probably need the older dc to ‘prompt’ dh repeatedly a few times, but they’ve all managed to survive before when I’ve been on short work trips.

BaronessBomburst · 30/01/2024 14:49

DS would be fine. He's nearly 14, pretty independent, and usually asks for anything he needs. He hates DH's cooking though. They could come to blows over that.

ThreeRingCircus · 30/01/2024 14:49

Everything would be fine other than DH would have to juggle some things with work to be around for the school runs.

He does an equal share anyway so I'd have no concerns about the day to day care of DDs. The only two things I can think of that would be that I have the log ins for school stuff (booking lunches and uploading homework) but DH would just contact the school for help getting that switched to him and that DH has never taken DDs to Brownies (I do that and he does their swimming lessons) but I'm sure he'd work it out!

We have a shared online calendar and a shared email account that we keep updated with things that are going on so if he was unsure of anything he'd be able to look in there.

I would be worrying because I can be a bit of a control freak and would be worried that DDs would be upset but I'd have zero worries about DH being able to effectively parent his own children.

Disneydatknee88 · 30/01/2024 14:49

My DH does the morning school run and packed lunch for our DD and DS is a teenager who pretty much looks after himself. I think he would be fine apart from the life admin stuff you mention (clubs, phoning the school, remembering trips and letters that need handing in). They would also all be living off Pizza and chicken nuggets for the entirety of my stay as DH can't cook!

Caffeineneedednow · 30/01/2024 14:49

DP would be good with the vast majority of that. He does 90% of the nursery runs for our eldest and he prepares the snacks, gets him dressed ect. We also have a shared calander and any birthday invites for example live on the notice board in the kitchen where he could also see them.

GaroTheMushroom · 30/01/2024 14:49

They would go into temporary foster care

JamJar59 · 30/01/2024 14:51

They would be fine probably, but that would still be a struggle and a bit of a stress I’d imagine.

Awumminnscotland · 30/01/2024 14:58

Yes this happened to us. I was suddenly taken unwell and rushed to a hospital in another town. Husband had no choice than to sort everything. I was completely out of it for the first 2 days, so I was of no help. As suspected he managed absolutely as a parent should. He even remembered I wrote stuff in a diary so checked that for child social stuff, clubs etc. Child was old enough to keep him right which helped.

Namerequired · 30/01/2024 14:58

No! It all goes to shit when I go into hospital for a day or 2. It’s happened twice in just over a month and the state I come back to. Thankfully each time I had uniforms washed for the week (my children have an inability to make them last more than a day). It wouldn’t occur to dp to put on a wash beyond his own clothes. I was on the phone multiple times don’t forget to pack a drink, snack, this needs done for homework, this is where uniform or this that and the other is. My youngest was supposed to be packed lunch one of the days and I went on the app and switched to dinners to save that hassle.
I shudder to think of them being left with him on a permanent basis tbh

Marmite27 · 30/01/2024 15:00

Yes to everything, DH is a hands on parent.

Evening meals however would be a different story, the kids would probably have scurvy by the time I was released.

Lunde · 30/01/2024 15:03

I have direct experience of this as I had a life changing accident when DD1 (ASD/ADHD) was 13 and DD2 (hyperacusia and severe asthma) was 11.

Would your child get to school on time?
Not an issue DH either drove them or they would walk or cycle to buses that go 800m and 2km from house.

Would their packed lunch and snack be made in the morning just how they like it/would school lunch be booked and paid for on time?
N/A - free school lunch provided

Would they have the correct, clean uniform?
N/A - non uniform school. DD2 had done all of her own washing since aged 10. DH and DD1 managed the rest between them

Would their reading and homework be done?
Yes - although DD1 might have missed the odd thing

Would they have everything they needed in their school bag?
At age 11 and 13 they were responsible to check the schedule for this themselves and pack relevant kit, equipment etc. Luckily school had extensive equipment store as DD2 hated schlepping cross country skis to the bus stop.

Would whoever was caring for them be aware of any special workshops/school trips that were happening?
Yes as information contained in weekly letter. They used to travel themselves to training and/or music school by bus or walking

Would they be picked up on time? Would whoever was caring for them have the school office details to ring if running late?
Not really applicable. If they had been younger they would have gone to wraparound care but at 11 and 13 they were old enough to go home themselves if transport was available.
Sometimes picked up by DH, sometimes took bus home. After extra curricular activities they would either walk to DD2's godmother's house for dinner or get the "bookable bus" (it's a bus that doesn't run unless someone books a ticket on it.