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If you suddenly had to go into hospital for a few weeks...

151 replies

Goldbar · 30/01/2024 14:15

Would your child get to school on time?
Would their packed lunch and snack be made in the morning just how they like it/would school lunch be booked and paid for on time?
Would they have the correct, clean uniform?
Would their reading and homework be done?
Would they have everything they needed in their school bag?
Would whoever was caring for them be aware of any special workshops/school trips that were happening?
Would they be picked up on time? Would whoever was caring for them have the school office details to ring if running late?

Similar details for nursery-age children.

How much organisation would be required on your part to make sure the above was achieved? Would it all happen smoothly, allowing you to recuperate in peace with an easy mind? Or would you hurriedly be messaging the after-school club details or school lunch account login as the anaesthetist arrived to put you under?

OP posts:
MrsDilligaf · 30/01/2024 18:17

DH would be absolutely fine, DD might complain about a wonky pony tail and the house might not be as tidy as I like, but aside from that there wouldn't be a problem

Snowdropsarecoming · 30/01/2024 18:18

I’m a sahm and last year my Mum died. DH was able to take compassionate leave and picked up most of the things. As we don’t have childcare and youngest is only in nursery 3 hours a a day he wouldn’t have been able to this if hadn’t been able to take the time off. He seemed surprised that DD1 now has packed lunch despite him watching me make it for 3 weeks. He managed. Nothing important was forgotten by him.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/01/2024 18:21

Well, the cats would be fed and their litter trays cleaned.

Not convinced he would be - at best, he'd have minor scurvy due to a diet of mostly Haribo and Pringles, with the occasional full wheat pizza.

The milk would have gone off in the fridge. The frozen food on order would be defrosting in the fridge and the fridge stuff sitting on the counter with potatoes going a delicate shade of green. You don't want to think about the state of the hob and sink. and wouldn't be able to see the countertops for things left out and would have to wear a crash helmet to risk going near the inevitably open cupboard doors and precariously stacked crockery. And the state of the dishwasher stacking would make you twitch.

Any Amazon deliveries would only be in if he happened to be walking in the door at the time or the neighbour took them and banged on the door when he got home. Most, however, would still be sitting at the pickup location unless I could send him the 'ready for collection' emails.

There might be a few odd socks left clean, a mountain of other washing done (but no sign of any fresh nightwear), I'd be brought office wear to sit in a hospital bed whilst legging and t-shirts would be at the bottom of the linen bin and the plants would probably be a combination of overwatered and dry as a bone (the leafy ones dry, the succulents and cacti swimming in puddles). But there would be a stack of toilet rolls on the bathroom floor, the cardboard inners might have made it into the recycling and there would be contact lens packets piling up in the bathroom sink.

Everything else is largely automated, right up to and including the lights and heating.

But the animals would be fine. And he'd be guaranteed to sit at my side for however long I wanted, holding my hand or performing any sort of personal care I needed. Which is what counts, really.

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Bundeena · 30/01/2024 18:22

Yeah, I think it would be ok. I've been away for a week for work before and all went smoothly. The only thing longer term that would potentially catch my partner out is keeping up with the laundry!

TheChosenTwo · 30/01/2024 18:22

Yes everything would be okay. Thinking about it I’m the only one who tops up ds’s school lunch account as I set it all up and just stick the money in every month but other than that I think he’d have it all covered fine. Mine are older though and very independent anyway.
Dh is good in a crisis situation.

Meadowfinch · 30/01/2024 18:30

DS would move into the school boarding house for the duration, and yes he would be fed and dressed and at school on time. It would take one phone call and for me or ds to pack a bag.

The boarding team are fab and came to my rescue when I had an op two years ago. I don't know how I would cope without them.

Ds' df wouldn't turn out, all too much trouble.

Crunchymum · 30/01/2024 18:33

My kids would be absolutely fine..... as they'd be with grandparents.

Kids dad is self employed (and sadly a bit useless!) but his parents are very hands on and involved with DC. They also live very close by.

Hope it never happens as I'd hate to impose but I'd be confident kids would be well looked after and life would be pretty much as normal.

NerrSnerr · 30/01/2024 18:41

My husband would do all of that. He'd have to take annual leave/ flexi or something to finish for school pick up and it would bugger up our holiday childcare as it'd be used for this time.

He's an active parent and does the drop off regularly (we plan our work so he does drop off and I do pick up usually) and we share the homework/ washing/ packed lunches etc.

Smartiepants79 · 30/01/2024 18:51

DH would fine with most of that if he needed to be. He already does a fair amount of those things anyway. He’d have to pick up on the washing and I’d write down a schedule for the after school stuff that I am responsible for. I would definitely be left to get better.

IncompleteSenten · 30/01/2024 18:52

I did and yes, everything got done just fine.

Vitriolinsanity · 30/01/2024 18:55

Meadowfinch · 30/01/2024 18:30

DS would move into the school boarding house for the duration, and yes he would be fed and dressed and at school on time. It would take one phone call and for me or ds to pack a bag.

The boarding team are fab and came to my rescue when I had an op two years ago. I don't know how I would cope without them.

Ds' df wouldn't turn out, all too much trouble.

Luckily I would be in your boat. My best friend would also act as guardian as she is local. My sister would relocate as needed.

I highly doubt DS would know I was gone. In fact, he'd probably prefer it!

Parker231 · 30/01/2024 18:56

DH would do things as normal - I regularly work away from home and we share a family calendar so no interruptions to school activities, after school clubs and parties.

PangramAddict · 30/01/2024 18:58

Most things my DP would be fine - hair brushing would be non existent but they'd eat well and the house would be spotless.

He wouldn't have a fucking clue about clubs and activities, although my mum helps a lot with those. Overall they'd be fine.

RandomUsernameHere · 30/01/2024 18:58

It would all need to be set out for DH, he wouldn't know any of that off the top of his head. Not because he's useless, but he works away every week.

peppermintteadrinker · 30/01/2024 19:01

My exh is shit. I am genuinely scared of this possibility. DS has autism and he would be so stressed if this happened and he had to go to dad's house.. Ex doesn't care what ds thinks though he might care what other people think. I reckon he'd manage pick ups but not much of the rest.

My mom is too old to manage. No other family. It's scary not having support.

Simonjt · 30/01/2024 19:02

It’d be fine, we moved country last year and he moved before me, so he was solo parenting for about four weeks. The only thing he would find hard is food and hair due to his disability, so when he was solo he took them to the hairdressers twice a week to have their hair washed and styled. Food was just expensive as he needs prechopped veg etc.

He was in hospital recently for two weeks, again, all fine.

Objectionhearsayspeculation · 30/01/2024 19:27

90% is no because we home Ed but in terms of food, washing being done yes although it'd be partnership with Dd1, 13 because she's pernikety about how things are done and likes doing her things her way, she also takes pleasure in being the family manager.
In terms of the Education he would supervise they were working but not set the work (that's my dept and what would require my organisation in advance, plus cat and hare care which he would do but need instructions they're my department, the dogs would probably be living even more like kings and hope I stayed away Grin)

Matilda1981 · 30/01/2024 19:32

My only concern would be their diet while I was in hospital, although to be fair they do all have a hot meal at lunchtime at school so even if they had a packed lunch type meal for tea it wouldn’t be the end of the world! Probably better than getting a takeaway every night!!!

spidermonkeys · 30/01/2024 19:37

Yes.

My parents would probable step into 'my role' due to DH's need to work. But between them everything would be done.

Lastminutebride · 30/01/2024 19:41

I had this exact situation happen before youngest was born.
I was taken to hospital and admitted with no warning. It was a nightmare. Husband works away regularly, I’m in charge of all things childcare/school related and rely heavily on before and after school clubs. Husbands hours and working away mean he isn’t usually around even to pick up/drop off from school club.

Other parents and friends massively helped to ensure he could work and my child could get to school. One school dad would come round at 7am and take daughter. It was a real team effort. Although mostly coordinated by me from my hospital bed!

DyslexicPoster · 30/01/2024 19:41

Dh could do all of that and in fact has. He found it extremely stressful but did it without complaint. Dd has over a weeks set of uniform for just this reason. Factored in slack in my system

fussygalore118 · 30/01/2024 19:41

Mine would be all fine, house might take a battering, but it would if my husband was the one out of commission for a couple of weeks as well..

blackteaplease · 30/01/2024 19:46

DH doesn't have the school payment app and I'm first point of contact for emails but I'm sure he'd be able to arrange access. He already makes packed lunches and does 50% of drop offs. I reckon they'd be fine

Anonymouslyposting · 30/01/2024 19:46

Things would not be done perfectly but DH would cope. We are very lucky that I’m sure our parents would rally round and help, without that help DH would have to take time off work which would be very difficult for him but he wouldn’t have a choice would he? It would be very stressful for all involved (particularly DS as he co sleeps with me and is still breastfed - actually, realistically I guess he’d have to be in the hospital with me unless it was completely impossible)

Frozenasarock · 30/01/2024 19:54

I’m a SAHM (so I regard packed lunches, uniform, school pick up etc as my responsibility) but my husband could manage the children perfectly well if necessary. He knows timings and lunches and homework stuff. He isn’t great at girl’s hair (though he could do a passable ponytail) and he probably wouldn’t be as on top of school book fair day, bring in 50p for comic relief etc etc but the actually important stuff would be fine. He wouldn’t necessarily have log in details for school accounts, but he’s got enough initiative to contact the school office to sort it out.

The one thing he wouldn’t necessarily succeed with is birthday parties and the like - I’m the one with all the parent friends, other people’s numbers and dealing with invitations and play dates. He knows their weekly activities but he probably wouldn’t know that on a particular Tues child x is having a party at the play centre, nor does he know child x or their parents whereas I do. But if I gave him the information he’d be fine.

The big difficulty would be that our lives are set up around the idea that he works full time and I’m childcare, so he’d need to make some big changes at work to accommodate pick ups etc, but he’d do it.