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Original poster

If you suddenly had to go into hospital for a few weeks...

151 replies

Goldbar · 30/01/2024 14:15

Would your child get to school on time?
Would their packed lunch and snack be made in the morning just how they like it/would school lunch be booked and paid for on time?
Would they have the correct, clean uniform?
Would their reading and homework be done?
Would they have everything they needed in their school bag?
Would whoever was caring for them be aware of any special workshops/school trips that were happening?
Would they be picked up on time? Would whoever was caring for them have the school office details to ring if running late?

Similar details for nursery-age children.

How much organisation would be required on your part to make sure the above was achieved? Would it all happen smoothly, allowing you to recuperate in peace with an easy mind? Or would you hurriedly be messaging the after-school club details or school lunch account login as the anaesthetist arrived to put you under?

OP posts:
TotallyKerplunked · 30/01/2024 15:37

It was a situation like this that precipitated DH becoming exDH. I had to stay in hospital with DS2 for 2 weeks. The house was an utter shit tip, if it wasn't for MIL the older kids wouldn't have even gone to school, they went without correct uniform/dress up stuff for special days despite being left instructions. Somehow the heating got turned to 30°C and he had no idea how to turn it down. The poor cats took to toileting on the floor as their trays were full. If for some reason I went into hospital I'd have to ask DM/exMIL.

eurochick · 30/01/2024 15:39

I think it would all be fine here with the possible exception of laundry as that is 100% my domain (his is cooking - everything else is shared) so it wouldn't be in his head to think x needs washing because she has a match this week or whatever.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 30/01/2024 15:39

All the necessary stuff would be done (feeding, bathing, where they need to be when they need to be), perhaps not with all bells and whistles but well enough. Which would be fine, because if I were in hospital for WEEKS I wouldn't expect life to carry on as if I weren't. DH would be doing all that on top of the day job, with no support, so frankly bells and whistles would be ridiculous. I also wouldn't expect to sit around in hospital convalescing without doing everything I could do (emailing, texting, organising, online shopping etc) to take some of the burden off DH.

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spiderlight · 30/01/2024 15:48

This actually happened to me for ten days, starting on the Friday of DS's first week in Reception. DH did remarkably well, despite a very demanding job. He got him to and from school on time, with a packed lunch of sorts (not how I would have done it, but nobody starved) and clean (albeit not ironed) uniform, and got him down to see me in the evenings pretty much every day. He did no discernible housework, and gave DS the worst haircut I have ever seen in my life, and our dogs spent a lot of time on their own, but other than that, he did brilliantly. Admittedly there were no clubs/honework/trips to deal with at that stage because it was the initial settling-in period, but he was fab under the circumstances.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/01/2024 15:49

My dd is 15. I think some harsh realities may kick in. I’m sure dd and dh would muddle through.

Goawaytina · 30/01/2024 15:49

Yes, my husband managed fine when I was hospitalised when my DD was just 2 weeks old and then again at 3 years old. Likewise I managed fine when he was hospitalised when she was 1 year old.

Senseofsomething · 30/01/2024 15:52

Oh it would be chaos! I am a single parent with no extended family nearby. DD would presumably have to say with her dad who usually only sees her EOW. He knows where the school is but everything else he would be learning fast.

iwonderwhatsinside · 30/01/2024 15:55

Even though exH has them 40% of the time the reading & homework would be completely neglected, PE kits wouldn't be done and after school extracurriculars etc would be forgotten about.

I mean, they'd be fine, but probably wouldn't thrive and I'd have to deal with making sure lunches/subs/music lessons were organized and payed for either before or after.

PlasticineKing · 30/01/2024 15:56

DH would manage, but would need help if he was to keep working. He has a full on job and I only work 16hrs, so that I can do all the house stuff, drop offs, pick ups, homework and arranging etc. we do have a fab after school club that we can book into ad hoc and they do a proper dinner too. He would manage but it wouldn’t be easy.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 30/01/2024 15:57

My husband has been doing that more than 50/50 since she was born and I would have absolutely no anxiety about him taking care of her on every front whilst I was in hospital.

Nonplusultra · 30/01/2024 15:58

Would your child get to school on time?
yes.
Would their packed lunch and snack be made in the morning just how they like it/would school lunch be booked and paid for on time?
Lunch would be made - he’d check with the dc. And probably grumble about me pandering to silly whims but he’d make it the way they want,
Would they have the correct, clean uniform?
correct definitely. Clean I’m not sure. After they didn’t magically get washed the first weekend he’d figure it out. It would probably involve a minimum of 14 texts.
Would their reading and homework be done?
Yes
Would they have everything they needed in their school bag?
maybe
Would whoever was caring for them be aware of any special workshops/school trips that were happening?
I think the dc would tell them - they (rightly) don’t trust me to remember
Would they be picked up on time?
yes. Would whoever was caring for them have the school office details to ring if running late?
I imachine they would look that up online

How much organisation would be required on your part to make sure the above was achieved?
If I thought it would happen I’d overthink and over organise certain aspects and forget others.
Would it all happen smoothly, allowing you to recuperate in peace with an easy mind?
hah!
Or would you hurriedly be messaging the after-school club details or school lunch account login as the anaesthetist arrived to put you under?
probably.

I have teens so they’d be texting constantly too.

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 30/01/2024 15:59

In short, no only some of it would be done. School drop off and pick up, after school activities etc would be absolutely fine, as would reading etc. Anything that wasn't the norm (special interest day, school trip, dress down day etc) wouldn't be remembered as Im the only one that reads the school emails it seems.

The problem is 2DC & DH aren't really capable of forward planning. ie they could use the washing machine but wouldn't think to use it until they had to put the clothes on in the morning so they wouldn't have washed it the night before etc.

Same with anything that requires forward planning. I do think DH & at least 1 DC have ADHD which may explain it.

Im also a bit of a control freak according to DH so I don't moan about the above as I prefer to do it myself anyway.

All DC & DH know where the list of my passwords are for everything so they would be able to manage if they needed to pay/order anything though!

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 30/01/2024 16:00

Yes to all of those.

It would be a bit hectic because we have one DD at school and one DD at nursery and both of us work full time. But it would be equally hectic if DH suddenly went into hospital.

user63737383882 · 30/01/2024 16:36

I'm not sure, I am split with their dad and couldn't see him having them full time he barely managed one day every other weekend and doesn't want them during the week. I expect my best friend, dad or ex's mum would step up and have them, they know the general routine and would be fine with them, they are my go to stand ins. I do sometimes worry about if something permanent happened to me how the kids would cope and what would happen with them. I know ex's mum would take them on in a heartbeat rather than them go into care but it would be a huge adjustment for them.

FranksInvisibleLlama · 30/01/2024 16:37

I don’t know who would look after DC in this scenario. Probably my parents, maybe with help from my in-laws for days my parents have other commitments.
My parents know what time to take DC2 to school and pick her up and what time DC1 is meant to leave for school, as they are here one day a week while I am at work.
They wouldn’t know what DC2 wants in her lunchbox, but would expect her to make it herself. They wouldn’t know where to buy the one specific food she likes that I have only ever found in one shop, so she would get a packed lunch but not the way she likes it.
They know how to use my washing machine and would expect DC to put their uniform in the wash so uniform would get washed. They wouldn’t know when DC2 needs to wear P.E kit but she could tell them.
They would probably be better at keeping on top of homework than I am. They wouldn’t be able to log on to the app to see DC1’s homework but I only look at it every so often and homework gets done without me monitoring it.
They wouldn’t know about any trips/ workshops unless DC told them or bought home a paper letter which is rare, as the information is usually sent to me by email. DC2’s teacher would probably work out that something had happened and tell my parents anything they needed to know.
They could google the schools’ phone numbers if they needed them.
Practically DC would be ok with them, but they don’t understand or make adjustments for ADHD/ autism so they and DC would find it very difficult and emotionally DC would definitely struggle.
When DH was alive I worked 13hr shifts, days and night shifts , so he was used to getting them up, to school, picking them up, doing all parenting. He could use the washing machine so could have washed uniforms and could make packed lunches though he never actually did either. DC2’s homework probably wouldn’t have been done unless she got it out herself. He might not have known about trips/ activities at school as, for some reason, they can only send the information to one parent, but he could access my emails on the iPad without knowing the password if necessary

Topofthemountain · 30/01/2024 16:41

If I went into hospital it would all run along fine, apart from maybe paying for stuff as I always do that.

If dh went into hospital it would be a disaster, apart from maybe paying for stuff as I always do that.

Beezknees · 30/01/2024 16:52

I am a lone parent but DS is 16 next week so he'd be capable of looking after himself. The house would probably need a good clean when I got back though!

catelynjane · 30/01/2024 16:56

I don't have children but my dad had to look after me on short notice multiple times and never had any issues with it.

My parents generally did everything 50/50 though.

DrCoconut · 30/01/2024 17:04

I'm a lone parent and 2 of my kids have additional needs. I have very limited help due to my parents being older with health issues and my social life being almost zero (not many people want a lone mum with needy children as a mate) and usually juggle 95% of childcare myself as well as work, house etc. I pray I am never hospitalised before they grow up as I literally don't know what I would do. It was never supposed to be like this but I can't control my ex's behaviour.

79redballoons · 30/01/2024 17:40

Everything would be absolutely fine, no pre organisation required. DH is a totally competent parent.

Dacadactyl · 30/01/2024 17:47

Yes, all those things would happen because DH would cover it. With the possible exception of ringing the school office...he'd prob have to Google the number and wouldn't have it saved in his phone.

However, he'd deffo need 2 months off to recover after I left hospital...just because he's not used to doing it.

mrsed1987 · 30/01/2024 17:52

Yes but I'd have to show my husband how to book school dinners and after school club or tbh he would probably just ask the school himself to set him up. Everything else he would be fine with

Fahhgedaboutit · 30/01/2024 17:58

I have just been in this situation with a 2 and 6 year old and DH stepped up. I didn’t have to worry about a thing, even now I’m back and recovering (I was in hospital for 9 days altogether), he’s doing the bulk of things and allowing me to rest. On top of that he visited me every day and took the week off work so I wouldn’t be alone. His parents have also helped and been amazing.

babybythesea · 30/01/2024 17:59

Don’t know.
DH works away in the week. He simply isn’t here during the week to know what they like in their lunch, or what they need.
He does drop off and pick up if he is home so that’s no issue and he also knows where all clubs are held so he could get them there but he wouldn’t know when.

He also doesn’t really think ahead. If he’s cooking he might not start until 6.30 but then we’re eating at 7.30 or later which is no good on a school night. But the kids would be fed.

He wouldn’t do homework. He values it and he’s so proud of the academic progress of the children but he is very dyslexic and not academic and not confident. He’d remind them to do it and if something was creative he’d work on it with them, but reading is out. Maths - maybe - if it was area then great. Fractions, no.

However, we have a timetable printed out and stuck on the cupboard door in the kitchen for just this scenario!
It includes all routine info for the week. PE day, staying at school for choir, Brownies, etc. along with the times and anything needed for each activity. Big extras like school trips are on the family planner. So life would tick over but mainly because I’ve already done the leg work!
He has no passwords for any of the school apps though so no lunches would be booked and it wouldn’t occur to him. The kids would survive on packed lunches though.

Where I could foresee problems is things like birthday parties. He’d be able to get them there but he’s so last minute I suspect they’d arrive with no present or similar types of faux pas.

But a big part of it is that he just isn’t here to see it most weeks, so how would he know?

IDontHateRainbows · 30/01/2024 18:00

Yes of course.

DH is a man, he's not an imbecile.