5 days to make him fancy me!

[Workdate]

I am very aware that I sound like a love smitten 12 year old!

There is a guy at my work who I have a massive crush on.
He is gorgeous and we get on very well.

I will not go in to too much detail as it’s outing but it is against the rules to have a relationship with clients.

I have kept the relationship professional and I have to be very careful about what I say because I could lose my job over it (no man is worth that), so there’s a big chance that he has no idea that I fancy him.

The issue is is that he’s leaving on Friday.

Once he leaves, it would be less frowned upon to have a relationship but we would have no way of contacting each other, unless we found one another on SM but both of us may think that it’s overstepping the mark.

I don’t know if he even likes me, so my first question is how would I know this?

My second question is what can I do to make him like me/ensure he knows I like him without it being unprofessional?

My third question is if it turns out we both like each other, how can we meet outside of work, without discussing it during work which is against the rules?

Hopefully they don't need an equivalent and they can both just do the same Parkrun 🤩

You just mention what your Instagram name is, and what the image is with a "I don't like using my real photo".

Then either leave it up to him to look you up, or he will drop into the conversation what his is. And AFTER he leaves you can look him up.

OR, follow an author or book genre group you both like on SM, and mention that. Make sure it's an author or group where you can see that other members.

If he's interested he will also follow/join.

OP if he's interested he'll find a way, all men do!
Once he's left on Friday and doesn't need to abide company rules, he can easily:

• search for you on SM (you just need to set it up with your full name). Even make a point to show or mention to him a FB group you're in - anything to do with your common interests. Then he knows where to find you (as he may have already looked you up secretly and seen you aren't active or showing).
• Send flowers and card with his phone number included, addressed to you at your workplace. (If he has no intention of coming back as a client what's there to lose?)
• You can also go on local or popular dating sites and see if you can find him there by searching in his area and ticking a fre boxes.

But one thing you shouldn't do is flirt blatantly or tell him you'll be "at X cafe next Saturday", that's just cringey and weird. Let him come to you once he is no longer your client. If he's keen on you, he will do something.

If you're both bringing in the same book on Monday, perhaps you could write your number on the inside and " accidentally" swap books?
He might text to tell you he's got your book

He's a client. It sounds like, from the nature of your profession, a relationship is a no go zone until quite a bit of time has passed. I think you need to let it be ships passing in the night.

I think your best bet is to arrange a casual date at the place you know he goes go every week, maybe a month or so after he's gone? You could go with a friend "who lives in the area" and had also mentioned how good the place was so you thought you would give it a try

You can then judge his reaction and none of you have broken any rules. You never know, he might say something on the last day !

I really hope you don’t have a health registration as you’re exhibiting poor judgement Are HCA or support worker?
Are you employed in private sector, some kind of clinic?
Youve said therapists have affairs with ex clients totally casual as it’s an everyday day no biggie event. I need to challenge that, if therapists are having affairs etc with ex patients that’s pretty noteworthy.
your work has stringent rules for a reason. It’s inappropriate

To all of you making up whimsical ways to meet and meet cutes you need to give your heads a wobble. This isn’t a romcom it’s staff fancying the client /patient and trying to manoeuvre a meeting. Despite knowing it’s against all rules

This

So, let's say you do happen to come across him somewhere in the next 2 weeks and you then have a date. Would you then hand in your notice at work ?

You need to leave it for him to make a move. In my experience men like the “chase” if they feel they’ve been handed it on a plate they will lose interest quickly…

I do wonder what the responses would be like if the OP was a male trying to seduce a female client...

I would give him a book I’d finished reading that happened to have my name and number in it (so it could be located if lost or leant out) If anyone found out I’d say it was an accident and I’d forgotten I’d put my number in it.

😂 Brill

Loan of a book with your mobile number written on the inside cover. Job done.

From the information you've given, and groups of men coming in for a set period, I'm with the majority who say there is a power imbalance and this is not ethical.

So I'm confused. You have a whole thread on "how can I make him fancy me" but then say

"So it’s not like I’m looking for anyone.
If I want a relationship then I could just go in OLD"

So don't even try. As you also say, it's not worth losing your job over. And it could turn out not just losing this one job, but a whole career if if word gets round.

One of our friend family friends is a physio and met her now husband when he came in as a client. She gave him her number at the end of an appointment. They’ve been happily married for years now. Just go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose. Some of these modern rules are just silly!! They’re just made to be broken!!

That’s just nonsense. Some men like the chase. Some women like to be chased. I don’t like games. If you like someone let them know

Are either / both of you on linked in or similar? Surely fine to send him a request after he goes?

Not so silly if they cause the OP to lose her job, income and probably a good reference, surely? Life isn’t a Richard Curtis film.

I’d assume he was trying to do the same thing and see if you show up one day! Definitely try the “I’m going to be in X coffee shop on Saturday at 10am” no embarrassment if he doesn’t show.

I'm thinking he's military in which case sorry but they're all players imo

I wish you would tell us what your role is because it's very difficult to advise. Is your company against you having contact with clients because you might poach them or is it for your own safety?

Can't you just add him on social media once he has left