5 days to make him fancy me!

[Workdate]

I am very aware that I sound like a love smitten 12 year old!

There is a guy at my work who I have a massive crush on.
He is gorgeous and we get on very well.

I will not go in to too much detail as it’s outing but it is against the rules to have a relationship with clients.

I have kept the relationship professional and I have to be very careful about what I say because I could lose my job over it (no man is worth that), so there’s a big chance that he has no idea that I fancy him.

The issue is is that he’s leaving on Friday.

Once he leaves, it would be less frowned upon to have a relationship but we would have no way of contacting each other, unless we found one another on SM but both of us may think that it’s overstepping the mark.

I don’t know if he even likes me, so my first question is how would I know this?

My second question is what can I do to make him like me/ensure he knows I like him without it being unprofessional?

My third question is if it turns out we both like each other, how can we meet outside of work, without discussing it during work which is against the rules?

What is your line of work?

Do your clients/patients choose to come to you or are they referred?

Are the services/treatments you offer medical or leisure based?

Your answers to these will help us to advise you better.

Patient or client? These are two different scenarios.

I want a happy ending to this story for you OP xxx

Once he's left, just request to add him as a friend/contact on social media. After an appropriate bit of time you could send a simple message and ask how he's getting on with the new job. I think if he's interested it will be totally obvious.

He’s not getting a new job? He’s not a colleague.

He’s getting treatment for a sports injury from op and it sounds like his sports team use op’s company for therapy.

Im sure you’re not the first woman therapist to fantasise about a fit young sports man while you’re rubbing his thighs . Men will try to come on to female sports therapists too.

Thats why your company has introduced a zero tolerance policy.

If nothing comes of this then it’s only a matter of time before you have a crush on another patient.
I’d advise not blurring the lines- don’t get carried away with romantic fantasies here.

See there is still a slew of frothy daft answers. She’s in health role and he’s a client. hence the rules & restrictions. There is a power imbalance and rules in place to protect him,the client/patient. Essentially she fancies her client and wants to initiate something between them. This is not two adults in corporate setting who have a connection and are potentially a good match. She has a health role and with that there is a power imbalance and status.
He is the client. Recipient of a treatment and the passive one in the relationship client/staff dynamic.

peope,either aren’t reading the op posts correctly or are wilfully ignoring the content

Just because your mate married their AHP doesn’t make this right
Back in the day teachers dated pupils and it was tolerated doesn’t make it right. Today’s standards and professional guidance rightly doesn't approve of relationship between staff & patient/client.

This thread is literally full of trite quips and dreadful advice
No op should not go for it
No fortune won’t favour her bravery
No don’t send him message or a clunkily exchange book with personal number
No it’s not oppression or big state intervention

if her employer finds out she’ll face sanctions or questions
if the client wants he can report her for initiating dating contact
a colleague could report it as inappropriate

Does your workplace policy prevent you from having friendships with clients? Because the easy solution seems to continue the friendship. Any romance that may come out of it in due course is not that relevant right now.

Perhaps you could invite him to a book club or book festival. E.g. 'I saw the local library are discussing X at their book club next week, do you fancy coming?'

Or she could just look outside her client base for friendships/relationships?
However radical that sounds…

This is all so ridiculous!

They are adults. companies can try and protect themselves with these policies but if 2 adults fancy eachother and want to pursue it, then it’s up to them.

All the nonsense about power imbalances!! It’s nobody’s business other than their own, unless there’s some major vulnerability there. And i don’t mean a physio / client or even doctor / client relationship. You should end the professional relationship first before you pursue it, but that’s all

Who on earth are the company to say they know better, or the HPC to say they know better. It’s all too big brother for me. would we were really rather people only get romantically involved with people on dating apps because it’s too risky at work. It’s just nonsense. We spend most of our time at work.

Adults are adults and are free to make their own decisions and should be free to mess up too. Not be over regulated with work rules for gods sake

Agreed. It’s super neurotic.

If he was a current client I’d agree she needs to back off. But he ceases to be a client next week after which it’s entirely up to them what happens. The rules are to protect clients and workers from abuse.

@Mirabai I'd agree if she had a good idea that he was romantically interested in her too but in this situation I don't think there's much to go off. It's whether the risk is worth it or not.

She doesn't need to do anything other than turn up to the gym his friend owns that he mentioned he frequents, in a couple of weeks and see how it goes from there. According to the OP that is within the remit of the standard of conduct of her as expected by her workplace.

Everything is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Sounds like you’d be taking a huge risk!

Hiya, any update?
I'm a hopeless romantic and am invested in this tale of star-crossed lovers 😄

Really want it to work out for you x

You’re not allowed to give him your number. So, tell him you’d love to keep in touch, and to let you know how the new job goes via FB. If you don’t already have an account, now’s the time to get one!

I would wait outside on his last day and as he leaves say hi, wanted to pass on my number in case you fancy a drink sometime. No rules broken because he has left the job and building.
however what kind of workplace polices things to this level, it’s quite insane!!!!

What's this job working with flirty athletic single men then, anyway? 🤔😁

This isn't sounding good, sorry. If it was a business thing I would say just LinkedIn message him after a bit, but anything healthcare related isn't right.

Jus t buy him a farewell card ..put your number inside..... Do it or regret it..... Man's view...

I think this is the point.

I don't think this is about the ethics of the job, it's about op getting someone who she fancies to make the first move, without her having to throw herself at him.

She wants to keep her dignity but only has five days to impress upon him.

This is like the title and storyline of a romcom op 😄

Well that’s quite an indignant froth about necessary legislation. Populism for dummies
we need legislation to protect people and maintain standards. Who are the HPC,well if @Workdate is a registered AHP the HPC can apply sanction of her professional demeanour falls below the expected standards. Regulatory bodies such as GMC or HPC set high standards for clinicians that exceed standards set for public. The point is to maintain and imbue confidence
There is always a power imbalance in client/patient and clinician relationships. That’s why the expectation is that there is not a relationship or behaviour that potentially compromises the patient/client. Definition of vulnerability exists and the expectation is the staff don’t unnecessarily exert power or coercion over their patients

no surprises in your post. Essentially a tick list of indignation and froth from tiredtropes.com
At least you’re passionate in your posts,that’s something

Have a read through of hcpc register investigations for misconduct. If you want to end up on that list go for it!

So turn up. Worst case scenario a bloke you don’t have to see again rejects you. Best case he’s bloody delighted you got the hint and whisks you off on a great date. Go next week. Report back. If there’s a wedding we all want a new hat.

The job is a decoy to save op's dignity.

This is about a woman wanting a male to make a move and it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

Op, would you rather have tips on how to seduce a man within a limited time frame with a man who is a bit shy or not forthcoming ?