Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included

[Shamefullhouse]

I have been posting for a while now about my house being a shithole and trying to get on top of it,

Me and my family have been through alot. That has lasted years there's practically been no rest from it one thing after another. Its been absolutely hell. To the extent i could not even bath/shower on a regular basis. I had no support and was coping with everything alone its been awful. It gos pretty deep .

But things are getting better. But because its been so long my mind /emotions find it hard to believe. So I'm trying to get myself into a better mindset.

One of them things is to get my house clean and tidy and for it to feel nice to be in. I have done alot. But I also keep slipping backwards. So although it's better than one I first started I'm stuck because I keep slipping back.

I add shame photos because it pushes me to get it done and that's how I feel just now because I have basicly fucked up since Christmas and I'm angry for slipping backwards.

The picture of the really bad small room is a spare room . It's crap from my children's bedroom when I decorated it. I dumped crap in the spare room .

No change of that happening with me 😅

@Shamefullhouse I've been following you too, you're doing great! And honestly, my kitchen looks 10x worse than yours. It's hard for me to tackle as the kids (4 and 1) are always round my ankles, and dp is rubbish at tidying. Needs a huge declutter. Master bedroom is a dumping ground too. We have way too much stuff, I find myself splitting time between decluttering and cleaning so that it doesn't get too grim while working towards a more cleanable home. New robot hoover is excellent though 👌

Don't get that privacy screen. Don't hide your home.

That's shame based thinking. Everyone has a day when they feel completely unmotivated. Many people go for weeks just doing the bare minimum or less.

Your occasional words here tell me you're being very hard on yourself, that there's a voice in your head that's very judgemental.

Try not to give that voice too much space.

Try not to use terms like bad, shit/hole, hide. If you find yourself thinking that way, remind yourself that you've come a long way and that you are a loveable person who does her best at all times.

Don't overthink the process - it's a matter of picking stuff up and putting it where it belongs, and every time you do that, it's a victory.

Above all, don't compare yourself with the lives of others or how you believe the lives of others must be.

Practical tips:

Make a list of five tasks per day and stick it somewhere easy to see. They can be as small as wiping a spot off a wall.
Mark off the tasks as you do them. You will see the progress. Don't worry about carrying tasks over. Remind yourself that you will get to them.

Keep on posting here - you really are an inspiration to many, and you need to remind yourself of that.

Sending hugs.

More suggestions -
Headphones for your teen DS and DD, both for their own music and noise canceling for when they don't want to hear anyone else's music or noise.

Put the bin beside the sink and dishwasher for your 8yo to scrape his plate into.

Special praise (in private) for good attitude and helpfulness on the part of the 7yo. Big hugs.

Yeah same here with kids. just in a different way. I could never have a robot hover . It would die in my house. I have Been getting rid of lots of stuff. It's definitely getting better with the stuff situation. Sounds like your keeping it ticking over which is good . 👍

YYY to this.

So true.

You really inspire me op. Thanks for these threads.

Thank you. I'm the only one on My street without a privacy screen. My kitchen window is about 6ft from the street I don't want a full window one just maybe 10 inches wide or something. I will see.

The words I use are mainly me kicking my own butt. I have a mixture within my self it gos from the extreme of your disgusting you should be ashamed you live like a big look at yourself.... to the other extreme of let's get this done . Soon I'm going to have a lovely house. All decorated. Kids will all be happy. I will be on top of things we will lovely home. I will feel super proud etc .

@Shamefullhouse Yes I'm lucky with robot hoover as no pets, oldest cheers him on and 'supervises' while youngest is terrified of him. It's a bit more tricky with the floor beds and giant crash mats (angry downstairs neighbour, hyperactive ds) but not too bad to move it all.

It's really hard keeping it tidy I find as everyone else here sucks at tidying! I'm sure if I keep chucking stuff it'll get better 😅 Also not looking for show home, just somewhere I wouldn't be embarrassed about surprise guests/after school play dates, etc.

New year new start, put some music on for motivation, the small room is the worst, that will take the longest, other than that all good.
Looking forward to seeing the pictures x

Also maybe get some plug in air fresheners, could you also take your dog out for ten minutes before you go to bed.
I didn't notice in the thread about your children having any jobs.
Eg: emptying the dishwasher each day, checking all rooms for washing and putting it in the baskets

One hoover's upstairs
One hoover's downstairs each day
Otherwise when they ask for money to go to the shop ect, the answer is no. X
By the way it is looking great and looking forward to more pictures x

Sadly everything is very complicated. So it's not as easy to just dish out jobs .

And thank you . I think its getting there .

You're doing fantastically well. I've read your other threads.

Did you say yes to the cinema with your DD? You need the time with her and you can rest and relax. You've done loads already.

And yes you inspired me today to fill 3 bin bags with rubbish. So thank you!

Having been through similar, the one piece of advice I would suggest is to ruthlessly insist on clear floor space and never store stuff in carrier bags🤓 As soon as I can see the carpet to hoover or a floor to mop, even if the sides are a disaster, the fact I can walk across the floor space and see it makes me tackle the other things.

Ah that's good glad you got some stuff sorted. I'm not doing anymore upstairs stuff. My room has ended up being left again. But I'm starting to feel like I don't want to do anything. I think my down stairs hall matters more . And getting all the rubbish out and washing the floor . So I'm gonna do that in a bit.

Dd is not sure about cinema now. She said the films look crap.

Instead of the privacy screen I'd get some lovely plants to adorn your window sill. Ferns are fairly bushy.

I'd still steer clear of the shame based self talk - it makes it hard to recover from a normal setback (like having the flu and being unable to get stuff done) if you are not kind to yourself in your thoughts, and it can become habitual and a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I'm not sure about plants I will think about it though.

The shame based self talk works for me at the moment. I feel like its ok to give myself a bollocking. As long as it does not cut to deep. If anyone else said them things to me I would probably feel offended. And also as long as I acknowledge the good bits and believe that I can do it. Its just my way of acknowledging to myself I messed up. But also acknowledging I can sort it..

Is that part of the reason he's an ex!?

I just looked back at your Before picture! Amazing work

Nah 🤣 I felt similar anyway . So did alot of mn . I wanted to see if it would grow on me but no

I badly need to wash my floor and pull up the lino clean under it and lay it back down. To do that I need to get rid of the wood that's against the wall but it's tall and hard to manage. I also need to get rid of all the crap I have stuck outside. It feels hopeless because I think that's no big deal . Then it turns out there's something in the way. Then something else then something else. It's really pissing me off.

After my mini tantrum I'm done. So have added my after pics. The floor was not as bad as I thought. I swept the concrete under it then spinkled 3 tubs of deodorising power over the floor then relayed the vinyl. I do have to get rid of the crap I have left outside but I'm doing that in an hour or so .

I do actually feel like im coming to an end of my shithole house. I need to clean/tidy my living room. And my bedroom. The top floor bathroom. I need to clean the skirting boards as well. Then the whole of my house is tidy.

I'm gonna cry when it's done 😭

That is amazing!! Well done you!

I managed 3 black bags, a couple of Vinted items and a clean kitchen. I was aiming to do the hall stairs and landing but didn’t get around to it. X

Amazing! Well done you 👏👏👏