Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included

233 replies

Shamefullhouse · 12/01/2024 17:51

I have been posting for a while now about my house being a shithole and trying to get on top of it,

Me and my family have been through alot. That has lasted years there's practically been no rest from it one thing after another. Its been absolutely hell. To the extent i could not even bath/shower on a regular basis. I had no support and was coping with everything alone its been awful. It gos pretty deep .

But things are getting better. But because its been so long my mind /emotions find it hard to believe. So I'm trying to get myself into a better mindset.

One of them things is to get my house clean and tidy and for it to feel nice to be in. I have done alot. But I also keep slipping backwards. So although it's better than one I first started I'm stuck because I keep slipping back.

I add shame photos because it pushes me to get it done and that's how I feel just now because I have basicly fucked up since Christmas and I'm angry for slipping backwards.

The picture of the really bad small room is a spare room . It's crap from my children's bedroom when I decorated it. I dumped crap in the spare room .

Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Crikeyisthatthetime · 13/01/2024 13:33

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 13:13

Problem is . It will never happen to them. And yes I agree .

But I think it takes alot of effort to be nasty . I can't be arsed to be nasty even if someone has been to me. Its to much effort.

You have a brilliant attitude. I was one of the people asking about the kids because I wasn't sure if you wrote the earlier threads I was thinking about.
Turns out you are, so I know that for you it's not just a case of a quick tidy up and job done.
And here you are, patiently answering everyone who keeps suggesting the same things when you know they won't work, or you've already tried, or they are the tenth person with that idea. (Not blaming anyone for that, it's a long thread). But it takes a lot of patience to answer everyone and not get cross!

HereToo · 13/01/2024 13:41

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 13:13

Problem is . It will never happen to them. And yes I agree .

But I think it takes alot of effort to be nasty . I can't be arsed to be nasty even if someone has been to me. Its to much effort.

Problem is . It will never happen to them.

I wouldn't be so sure. An accident leading to a disability for example or a MH breakdown could turn every one of our lives upside down.

Never say never, which is why it's always best to be kind to those who are struggling.

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 13:45

CornedBeef451 · 13/01/2024 13:21

Your kitchen looks great, well done!

I find the endless repetition of jobs really annoying. I've finally accepted I need to clean the kitchen every day, or even twice a day, no matter how dull.

I've ditched as much stuff as possible and moved as much off the surfaces as possible so it's all easier to keep clean.

Also things have to be really easy to put away or else they just get piled up somewhere else.

I sweep with a long handled dustpan and brush so it looks much better even if I know I haven't mopped for a (really) long time. (No 5 second rule here, if food touches the floor you have to assume it's contaminated with something awful and bin it!)

I've found the A Slob Comes Clean podcast brilliant for this type of thing. Dana is a self confessed slob and has come up with ways to help herself and it works brilliantly for me too. I put a podcast on my phone and she hypnotises me into sorting my house out!

Good luck, you're doing really well!

Yeah I'm doing simlar. I'm trying to do easy to put away easy to accesess. I have put a shelving unit under my stairs so now i have stuff on shelves so it's easy to get to. I have got rid of lots of stuff.

I want to get another 2 hoovers so i can have 1 on each floor. Also a mop on each floor, and bathroom storage in each bathroom. At the moment all the bath stuff are on the window ledge and it just gets in a mess really. Oh and I Want a cleaning box in each floor as well . I want everything to be as practical and easy as possible.

OP posts:
DrunkenElephant · 13/01/2024 13:54

Op you really are inspirational to a lot of people on this thread.

Keeping a house clean and tidy with kids is hard enough. When you throw in past trauma and mental health issues it really does feel overwhelming. I suspect a lot of people who struggle due to things that have happened think they don’t “deserve” a nice home anyway, and it just feels easier to give up.

You have battled through when it hasn’t been easy for you, and you’re doing it. You are literally doing it, whether you do it in ten minute bursts or all at once doesn’t matter, the outcome is still the same.

You’ve got a plan, you will get there. I hope you feel proud, because you really should be.

I noticed you said the house never feels nice. What things do you like? I live in a rental so everything is neutral. I don’t have much money, but I’ve made it feel homely with things like candles, wax melts that smell nice, cushions, house plants etc. Its the little touches that make a house feel “nice”.

I can’t wait to see update pics x

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 13:55

Crikeyisthatthetime · 13/01/2024 13:33

You have a brilliant attitude. I was one of the people asking about the kids because I wasn't sure if you wrote the earlier threads I was thinking about.
Turns out you are, so I know that for you it's not just a case of a quick tidy up and job done.
And here you are, patiently answering everyone who keeps suggesting the same things when you know they won't work, or you've already tried, or they are the tenth person with that idea. (Not blaming anyone for that, it's a long thread). But it takes a lot of patience to answer everyone and not get cross!

Thank you . I don't mind answering. People can't always know. It can be a little frustrating when people try to fix it. But again they are not to know.

OP posts:
dothehokeycokey · 13/01/2024 14:00

@Shamefullhouse

I have a hoover on both floors of the house and polish /cloths and anti bac wipes so I'm more compelled to give a ten min clean over if I don't have to go back downstairs to get the stuff to do it with

I cleaned out our bathroom cupboard the other night on a whim Confused

Two black bags of recycling and rubbish and a large bag of stuff for the local food bank/pantry so that felt good.

I'm terrible for procrastinating at times so I've been changing my routine abit and it's helping loads

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:03

HereToo · 13/01/2024 13:41

Problem is . It will never happen to them.

I wouldn't be so sure. An accident leading to a disability for example or a MH breakdown could turn every one of our lives upside down.

Never say never, which is why it's always best to be kind to those who are struggling.

Yeah I get lt could happen to them . But they don't think it can. Comments such as " I wouldn't allow myself to get into that situation" and for some in difficult situations they have a good support system . I'm completely 0n my own I have no one. But I also know there will be others in a similar situation.

OP posts:
Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:06

dothehokeycokey · 13/01/2024 14:00

@Shamefullhouse

I have a hoover on both floors of the house and polish /cloths and anti bac wipes so I'm more compelled to give a ten min clean over if I don't have to go back downstairs to get the stuff to do it with

I cleaned out our bathroom cupboard the other night on a whim Confused

Two black bags of recycling and rubbish and a large bag of stuff for the local food bank/pantry so that felt good.

I'm terrible for procrastinating at times so I've been changing my routine abit and it's helping loads

Yes that's what I'm thinking . If the stuff is to hand. I'm more likely to do it.

OP posts:
LaurieStrode · 13/01/2024 14:08

If your dog is inevitably going to urinate in the hall, can you put down puppy pee pads? Is there carpet?

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:10

Spare room is done . I just got to hoover it. Same with landing. I have even more shit in the hall way now.

Teen dd has asked if we can go cinema tomorrow 😭 I can't say no when she's basically asking for us to spend time together. I just have so much to do though

Tidy up shithole house weekend pics included
OP posts:
Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:23

LaurieStrode · 13/01/2024 14:08

If your dog is inevitably going to urinate in the hall, can you put down puppy pee pads? Is there carpet?

It's vinyl. I was told not to do puppy pads because it encourages them to pee in the house. He's doing it less so I think we are going in the right direction. Should not be doing it at all but he is

OP posts:
Dramasloth · 13/01/2024 14:25

So nice to see some honesty about housework for a change. You’re led to believe everyone lives in Insta-ready show homes. Well most don't but no one can be seen to be below par. X

HereToo · 13/01/2024 14:27

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:23

It's vinyl. I was told not to do puppy pads because it encourages them to pee in the house. He's doing it less so I think we are going in the right direction. Should not be doing it at all but he is

I was told that too about the puppy pads but I was glad I ignored it.

I just put them in the 'hot spots' and gradually moved them nearer and nearer to the backdoor until she got the message.

Sorry if I missed it, but do you have a back garden?

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:29

Dramasloth · 13/01/2024 14:25

So nice to see some honesty about housework for a change. You’re led to believe everyone lives in Insta-ready show homes. Well most don't but no one can be seen to be below par. X

I asked that on another thread I had. Like what's normal 🤣. Like if we was to pop to someone's house with very little notice and it looks spotless is that because they throw it all in a cupboard and force the door shut I don't think mine would come under the normal category yet. But im getting there

OP posts:
declutteringmymind · 13/01/2024 14:33

That spare room looks awesome. It's taken me about 5 false starts but now have a hallway full of crap that needs taking upstairs, and a charity pile.

DH is 3 h into a nap so if he doesn't wake up all. The hoover is definitely on.

YY to 2 hoovers. If you can stretch to one of them being cordless, you'll love it.

Keep going!

Dramasloth · 13/01/2024 14:36

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:29

I asked that on another thread I had. Like what's normal 🤣. Like if we was to pop to someone's house with very little notice and it looks spotless is that because they throw it all in a cupboard and force the door shut I don't think mine would come under the normal category yet. But im getting there

Just to be cosy and comfortable in your own space should be the aim. I’m tidy but I acknowledge a home is for living in x

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:36

HereToo · 13/01/2024 14:27

I was told that too about the puppy pads but I was glad I ignored it.

I just put them in the 'hot spots' and gradually moved them nearer and nearer to the backdoor until she got the message.

Sorry if I missed it, but do you have a back garden?

Yeah I do . I did all that he knows to pee outside he's an arsehole . Ds told me that it's not even early hours of the morning he does it. Its within 10 mins of me going to bed .

OP posts:
MadCatLady27 · 13/01/2024 14:39

I've been following your threads OP you've done a great job so far

If you find the stairs tiring and the children are home/old enough could you give them a challenge to help take some bags of things down for you (in return for some chocolate or something?). Just make sure they're light enough for them. Will also tire them out and get them involved

suki1964 · 13/01/2024 14:40

You know its taken a good while to get to this stage, so expect it to take a good while to get to where you are happy with it.

Your wee room? Not a patch on just my wardrobe!!! My wardrobe was so bad I spent a year dressing from a laundry basket.

We have a walk in wardrobe in one of the spare rooms, its big enough to make a small single room. It was so rammed with junk hidden from view that the doors were forced off their runners !!!

Its taken me a year to get the house to some sort of order, still working at it, little and often, and Im becoming more ruthless with every sweep

Little and often. One shelf, one drawer, one chair full of clothes at a time

I pulled out the drawer, tipped out the contents, washed the drawer, then decided what I wanted to use that drawer for. Knickers? I went through every pair, threw the tatty ones, folded the ones I was keeping, put then all back neatly, and that drawer now stays neat, no knickers bulging out the drawer. Anything that wasnt knickers, that I wanted to keep went into a box, till I found them a home. Everything else BINNED. Kitchen drawer - the same. - cutlery - drawer washed, tidy washed, the cutlery was looked at, blunt knives never used, - binned, anything tarnished - Binned . Book case, shelf at a time, had I read the book? will I ever read the book? Do I want to re read the book? - 8 shelves condensed to 3 . Not a book? in the box to find a home.

Linens, I went through the lot, sorted out the stuff that fitted the beds I now have, made up sets, into a pillow case, stacked tidy, bed making is now grab and go. The yellowing stuff, the piles of singles ( all doubles now ) all went

Im now down to a tiny basket of stuff looking a home, mostly what I pick up as I tidy - a sock or slipper under the sofa, nuts and bolts emptied from DH work trousers, coins - little things we put down at our feet instead of putting straight away

All those cables, now in a cable box. Just a cheap cloth storage box, they are rammed in there , a complete tangle, but they are all in one place , in their box, in a cupboard. The cables have a home, they arent traillng across the floor or left on tables. Spare batteries, slung in a tin in the same cupboard as the cables :)

Getting rid of everything that you dont use, no longer fits, you cant bear the sight of ( even if it was a wedding pressie ) get shot of.

I dont live in an show home, I have a cat and dog and we live in the country which is either a dust bowl or mud bath and life really is too short. But its manageable and it no longer stresses me out. Even if Ive only half an hour spare in a day, I can run a hoover over, make the beds and give the bathroom a once over, cos Im not picking up and putting away

dothehokeycokey · 13/01/2024 14:43

@Shamefullhouse

Way to go and you've just inspired me to get off my ass where I've been sat bingeing tv to get in the shower and take the washing out the tumble dryer and put another load in.

I also need to empty the dishwasher and then do a food shop so am rather behind but,well I couldn't be assed so up I get and thanks Grin

Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 14:53

suki1964 · 13/01/2024 14:40

You know its taken a good while to get to this stage, so expect it to take a good while to get to where you are happy with it.

Your wee room? Not a patch on just my wardrobe!!! My wardrobe was so bad I spent a year dressing from a laundry basket.

We have a walk in wardrobe in one of the spare rooms, its big enough to make a small single room. It was so rammed with junk hidden from view that the doors were forced off their runners !!!

Its taken me a year to get the house to some sort of order, still working at it, little and often, and Im becoming more ruthless with every sweep

Little and often. One shelf, one drawer, one chair full of clothes at a time

I pulled out the drawer, tipped out the contents, washed the drawer, then decided what I wanted to use that drawer for. Knickers? I went through every pair, threw the tatty ones, folded the ones I was keeping, put then all back neatly, and that drawer now stays neat, no knickers bulging out the drawer. Anything that wasnt knickers, that I wanted to keep went into a box, till I found them a home. Everything else BINNED. Kitchen drawer - the same. - cutlery - drawer washed, tidy washed, the cutlery was looked at, blunt knives never used, - binned, anything tarnished - Binned . Book case, shelf at a time, had I read the book? will I ever read the book? Do I want to re read the book? - 8 shelves condensed to 3 . Not a book? in the box to find a home.

Linens, I went through the lot, sorted out the stuff that fitted the beds I now have, made up sets, into a pillow case, stacked tidy, bed making is now grab and go. The yellowing stuff, the piles of singles ( all doubles now ) all went

Im now down to a tiny basket of stuff looking a home, mostly what I pick up as I tidy - a sock or slipper under the sofa, nuts and bolts emptied from DH work trousers, coins - little things we put down at our feet instead of putting straight away

All those cables, now in a cable box. Just a cheap cloth storage box, they are rammed in there , a complete tangle, but they are all in one place , in their box, in a cupboard. The cables have a home, they arent traillng across the floor or left on tables. Spare batteries, slung in a tin in the same cupboard as the cables :)

Getting rid of everything that you dont use, no longer fits, you cant bear the sight of ( even if it was a wedding pressie ) get shot of.

I dont live in an show home, I have a cat and dog and we live in the country which is either a dust bowl or mud bath and life really is too short. But its manageable and it no longer stresses me out. Even if Ive only half an hour spare in a day, I can run a hoover over, make the beds and give the bathroom a once over, cos Im not picking up and putting away

I get you . I just want things to be ok. They don't have to be perfect. General mess is OK. I just don't want it to be over whelming or depressing.

OP posts:
Shamefullhouse · 13/01/2024 15:00

dothehokeycokey · 13/01/2024 14:43

@Shamefullhouse

Way to go and you've just inspired me to get off my ass where I've been sat bingeing tv to get in the shower and take the washing out the tumble dryer and put another load in.

I also need to empty the dishwasher and then do a food shop so am rather behind but,well I couldn't be assed so up I get and thanks Grin

I'm not doing great to be honest. It's all going very slow . I Need to fold /rip several boxes in a min. Hang up load of washing on airers and put another wash on. Have loads to do really . I have till around 10pm to get it all done

OP posts:
LaurieStrode · 13/01/2024 15:15

My dogs used pee pads all their lives.

That didn't stop them asking to go out, they preferred outdoors, but if I were away or asleep, they faithfully went to their pad.

It was peace of mind for me as I knew they never had to suffer holding their urine, and my home wouldn't be damaged.

goingslightlyinsane · 13/01/2024 15:27

Why don't you pop a bin bag out in every room. Every time you walk in a room put something in the bin bag. You will have it all done in no time.
🗑️

mathanxiety · 13/01/2024 15:47

OP, I was married to a man whose mother kept a show home.

You don't want to be that woman, believe me.

Swipe left for the next trending thread