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To think this is a bizarre overreaction over a chip shop?

194 replies

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 12:40

A long-term friend came to stay with me this weekend. She has never been the most adaptable of people, but this weekend I have honestly become worried about her failure to cope with the most minor of setbacks.

I went to meet her at my local station on Friday night. We were going out later, so we decided to drop off her bags, have something quick to eat and then go. She said, “Ooh, can we go to that nice chip shop we went to last time?” I said, “Oh no, we can’t - it closed unfortunately”.

I can only describe her reaction as utter bewilderment. She looked at me in complete confusion and said, “Closed? What do you mean, it closed?” It was like she’d never heard the word before. I just said, “Yes, it closed down a couple of months ago”. She’s still giving me the bewildered look. “But… it was REALLY nice!” I said, “Yes, it’s a shame… shall we get a Subway or something?”.

She was still looking at me like I’d just told her her house had burned down. She started this weird muttering. “Closed, closed… it CAN’T be closed; it can’t have just closed. Are you sure it’s closed? Maybe it was just shut when you went past”. I was getting pretty fed up by now, but as the (very much closed) chip shop is right by the station, I took her across the road to show her. She just peered through the window in disbelief, as if she could somehow make the chips appear through sheer force of will. She started saying maybe it wasn’t permanent, maybe they’d just gone on holiday… how that would have helped us that night, I’ve no idea.

I’d had enough now - I just wanted to go to grab some food. I said to her, “Look. The shelves are empty. The fridges are empty. The windows are covered in dust. There are piles of junk mail in the doorway. It has CLOSED DOWN!!”

I eventually somehow got her to McDonalds, but she was still prattling under her breath about how she can’t believe it’s closed, it was REALLY nice, she was really looking forward to those chips… it was unhinged. The people who owned the bloody shop probably made less fuss than this about it closing.

I know it probably sounds funny, but I am honestly wondering if something is really wrong. This just isn’t a normal reaction to something so minor. As I said, she’s never been particularly adaptable - for example, if a train was cancelled, she’d spend more time complaining about it happening than she would looking at alternatives - but I’ve never known her go so overboard before, and all over something so inconsequential. She was fine for the rest of the weekend, but should I have had a word?

OP posts:
momonpurpose · 07/01/2024 15:32

Those must have been gold plated chips for that level of drama

ChedderGorgeous · 07/01/2024 15:34

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 07/01/2024 15:26

@ChedderGorgeous having autism doesn't mean there is something wrong with someone Angry

In the sense that its a medical disorder it does. Not that its a bad thing, just better to be diagnosed than not.

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 07/01/2024 15:35

@ChedderGorgeous it's not a medical disorder either ffs. Such ignorance.

ChedderGorgeous · 07/01/2024 15:40

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 07/01/2024 15:35

@ChedderGorgeous it's not a medical disorder either ffs. Such ignorance.

The International Classicification of Diseases (ICD-10) code for Autistic Disorder is F84.0. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

TheShellBeach · 07/01/2024 15:41

ChedderGorgeous · 07/01/2024 15:40

The International Classicification of Diseases (ICD-10) code for Autistic Disorder is F84.0. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder, not a medical disorder.

FFS this thread!

ChedderGorgeous · 07/01/2024 15:43

TheShellBeach · 07/01/2024 15:41

Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder, not a medical disorder.

FFS this thread!

You are just agreeing it's a medical disorder. It's classified as one. This only means there are criteria for diagnosis , I'm not saying its bad at all.

Catslovenip · 07/01/2024 15:47

Perfectly normal reaction in my world (DH and Ds neurodiverse ) and yes I know I’ve won the mumsnet bingo thank you !

DianaBlackCat · 07/01/2024 15:52

Have you considered that your friend may have undiagnosed autism? It’s very common in neurodiverse people to react like that when something isn’t how they expected it to be, especially given that you said she is usually not flexible etc. Sadly it’s often the case that autism is missed in women and girls because it’s often less visible. I hope the rest of her visit went well.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 07/01/2024 15:55

cariadlet · 07/01/2024 15:27

Some of the disablist comments on this thread are disgusting.
Calling her "unhinged". Saying that if she's autistic, then there is something wrong with her FFS!

I'm autistic. There's nothing wrong with me. I just have a brain which works differently from the brains of neurotypical people.

Racist and homophobic comments would be (rightly) condemned but it seems to be ok to come out with disablist crap.

This.

The entire OP was framed around mocking her. In no way was it ever sympathetic or asking for ways in which to support the person concerned.

It all comes across as an excuse to exert superiority.

ForTonightGodisaDJ · 07/01/2024 16:01

@ChedderGorgeous @HalliwellManor looooooooool 😂😂😂

Agreed, there's no need for the OP to get salty about it. (Ok, ok not as good as yours!)

PartOfTheFurniture12 · 07/01/2024 16:02

She's not pregnant is she? I would have been devastated if this happened to me in my first trimester. 😂

Itsbeginingtolookalotlikexmas · 07/01/2024 16:02

I think that she will have a sequence of events in her head culminating with the chips. The rest of the journey may have been stressful or outside of her control and she had to cope with that but when the final bit changed it tipped her over the edge. It be only ever know neuro-diverse people to behave like this but I guess some NT people will too.

CaramelMac · 07/01/2024 16:09

DH can be a bit like this, he’s not ND he’s just a fanny. He has to choose what he’s going to eat before we get to the restaurant otherwise he’ll just stare at the menu for hours unable to make a decision, if (god forbid) they haven’t got what he wanted he’ll eventually order something else but sit there with a face like a slapped arse repeating “but I wanted xyz”

If we eat out without planning he’ll insist he’s not hungry (until the food is placed in front of him) and I’m sure it’s just because he hasn’t planned to eat so he’s not ready for it.

The other day we popped into McDonalds on the way home with 2 hungry children and he sat there for 15 minutes, but it felt like hours, reading every single item on the menu unable to make a choice, I lost my rag with him then, you can’t make small hungry children wait because you can’t make a decision in bloody McDonalds just choose a burger or nuggets, it all tastes the same anyway!

AhBiscuits · 07/01/2024 16:17

DH can be a bit like this, he’s not ND he’s just a fanny.

Ooo mine too! It's not just food either. He can't make a decision on anything. The amount of times I've growled 'It. Doesn't, Fucking. Matter.' and stalked off while shopping...

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 16:20

DH can be a bit like this, he’s not ND he’s just a fanny.

😆😆😆

OP posts:
User4363463 · 07/01/2024 16:39

There's also Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (not related to the hand-washing type of OCD). One of the characteristics is being extremely rigid with plans and not being able to compromise.

Had a school friend with this and she was generally a lovely person but had very odd quirks at times. The biggest "tell" was when we all arranged to see a film together and decided to change last min. She refused this and actually sat through the original film alone rather than join everyone else in the other cinema. (None of those films were blockbusters or anything with an actor she was overly invested in. It was just a random, what do we do on Saturday night type of thing).

LoveHeartsFan · 07/01/2024 16:42

Had I been the OP, I would have found it extremely wearing that something I told my friend as an honest statement of fact was disbelieved to that extent.

Even though it was an implication by continued disbelief, rather than an accusation, it would have suggested to me my friend thought I was lying. It would have made me cross, particularly when I ended up having to demonstrate the truth of it by taking her to see the shuttered shop.

It would have left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky · 07/01/2024 17:08

I think the OP took her friend to see the shop for dramatic effect, not because she was genuinely being called out as a liar. It's all a bit exaggerated.

ImaniMumsnet · 07/01/2024 17:10

Hi everyone, we will be closing this thread now. Please report any posts you feel break talkguidelines to us and we will take a look.

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