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To think this is a bizarre overreaction over a chip shop?

194 replies

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 12:40

A long-term friend came to stay with me this weekend. She has never been the most adaptable of people, but this weekend I have honestly become worried about her failure to cope with the most minor of setbacks.

I went to meet her at my local station on Friday night. We were going out later, so we decided to drop off her bags, have something quick to eat and then go. She said, “Ooh, can we go to that nice chip shop we went to last time?” I said, “Oh no, we can’t - it closed unfortunately”.

I can only describe her reaction as utter bewilderment. She looked at me in complete confusion and said, “Closed? What do you mean, it closed?” It was like she’d never heard the word before. I just said, “Yes, it closed down a couple of months ago”. She’s still giving me the bewildered look. “But… it was REALLY nice!” I said, “Yes, it’s a shame… shall we get a Subway or something?”.

She was still looking at me like I’d just told her her house had burned down. She started this weird muttering. “Closed, closed… it CAN’T be closed; it can’t have just closed. Are you sure it’s closed? Maybe it was just shut when you went past”. I was getting pretty fed up by now, but as the (very much closed) chip shop is right by the station, I took her across the road to show her. She just peered through the window in disbelief, as if she could somehow make the chips appear through sheer force of will. She started saying maybe it wasn’t permanent, maybe they’d just gone on holiday… how that would have helped us that night, I’ve no idea.

I’d had enough now - I just wanted to go to grab some food. I said to her, “Look. The shelves are empty. The fridges are empty. The windows are covered in dust. There are piles of junk mail in the doorway. It has CLOSED DOWN!!”

I eventually somehow got her to McDonalds, but she was still prattling under her breath about how she can’t believe it’s closed, it was REALLY nice, she was really looking forward to those chips… it was unhinged. The people who owned the bloody shop probably made less fuss than this about it closing.

I know it probably sounds funny, but I am honestly wondering if something is really wrong. This just isn’t a normal reaction to something so minor. As I said, she’s never been particularly adaptable - for example, if a train was cancelled, she’d spend more time complaining about it happening than she would looking at alternatives - but I’ve never known her go so overboard before, and all over something so inconsequential. She was fine for the rest of the weekend, but should I have had a word?

OP posts:
Rokuandice · 07/01/2024 14:14

I bet they’re similar .. a slice of potato in batter/giant flat chip in batter.. ohh there go my taste buds tingling again

😆 I really might have stayed an extra night but they had no notice on the door to say when they were reopening. I even checked their website .. wasn’t obsessing much ha!

Ramalangadingdong · 07/01/2024 14:15

ClumsyNinja · 07/01/2024 14:05

What's with all the Autism Bollocks?

I'm with your friend. A quality chippy is a rare thing of beauty so obviously you'd be distraught to learn of its closure if you've been travelling and looking forward to a yummy portion of fish, chips and mushy peas.

No way would I accept food from a MacD's as a decent substitute. That stuff's pure shite in comparison! 😝

I very rarely eat from chippy or MacD but I see your point. They’re not the same at all.

SirQuintusAurieliusMaximus · 07/01/2024 14:16

If she REALLY liked it for whatever reason, she'd probably been looking forward to it. She'd probably built it up in her mind that this would be a nice part of the weekend - the nice fish and chip shop.

So I don't think its that odd. It's always crushingly disappointing if you've been looking forward to something and it can't happen. It's also not that odd to be surprised and a bit bewildered if what you see as a great business closes down because typically that's associated with failure. It may not be of course but two things together can cause a bit of an overreaction.

It's nothing to worry about.

Minniliscious · 07/01/2024 14:16

I was like this when the local Indian restaurant closed down. We’d been customers there for over 30 years and no one in the area matches their standards. I still mourn whenever I fancy a curry ……

Rokuandice · 07/01/2024 14:17

Tamworth, so South Staffs almost Birmingham.. I’ve no idea why they’re called scallops but we all grew up calling them that..Golden slices of deliciousness, whatever the regional term ;)

DuchessNope · 07/01/2024 14:17

I’m a bit like this but I think better at hiding it from friends. I have a massive (internal) reaction to changes in plans, have to really talk myself down. It’s only fairly recently I’ve realised that what I hate is the change itself it’s not what the new plan is. So I used to find (for example) my friends changing what pub we were meeting in unbearable. No idea if I'm ND.

Finti · 07/01/2024 14:18

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 13:23

Guilty 😊

Op, yes, she sounds like she might be autistic/neurodiverse. Or having a long distant secret affair with chipshop owner.

Meantime, pl can you help me with something please, as you are a writer? It’s something that I get very confused about when writing English.
i.r.
where the heck do fullstops (etc) vs quote marks go when you write dialogue?
is it:

She wailed, “It’s closed? It can’t be.”
or is it
“It’s closed? It can’t be”.

I never know! Final full stop - inside the speech marks or outside?

Finti · 07/01/2024 14:19

I.e. typo :-(

Thecatmaster · 07/01/2024 14:20

In fairness it is hard to believe that a fantastic chip shop would close down. And a subway is in no way a substitute for fish and chips.

Rokuandice · 07/01/2024 14:20

you can’t leave me hanging 😆.. where are the two chippies you found? I’m willing to travel 🙈

KimKardassion · 07/01/2024 14:21

Not19foreverpullyourselftogether · 07/01/2024 12:45

I get like this about chips when my period is due 😅

Me too. And also when my period isn’t due. And when I have my period. 😬

Rokuandice · 07/01/2024 14:22

🤣🤣 @KimKardassion

AhBiscuits · 07/01/2024 14:24

She's probably been thinking about fish and chips all day and then you stick the knife in by suggesting Subway 😱

FannyFarts · 07/01/2024 14:26

processing change can be difficult for people on the spectrum

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 14:27

Finti · 07/01/2024 14:18

Op, yes, she sounds like she might be autistic/neurodiverse. Or having a long distant secret affair with chipshop owner.

Meantime, pl can you help me with something please, as you are a writer? It’s something that I get very confused about when writing English.
i.r.
where the heck do fullstops (etc) vs quote marks go when you write dialogue?
is it:

She wailed, “It’s closed? It can’t be.”
or is it
“It’s closed? It can’t be”.

I never know! Final full stop - inside the speech marks or outside?

It’s a weird one. If it’s a complete sentence, the full stop goes inside of the quotation marks, as the ending is part of the sentence, if that makes sense? Whereas if you were just quoting part of what someone had said, the full stop goes after the quote marks.

OP posts:
notthedressiwanted · 07/01/2024 14:27

@Goodlard 😂😆😂
I actually read that in tune!!

cerisepanther73 · 07/01/2024 14:28

@KirstenBlest

I 🤔 totally agree
I was thinking the same thing myself too...

It's is hard to find a good chippy...

Cosywintertime · 07/01/2024 14:29

I also am not a fan of this online diagnosing people from one thing.

she maybe just likes her food, built herself up, wanted chips and was gutted. Some folks really like their food.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 07/01/2024 14:29

MiamiWindMachine · 07/01/2024 13:23

Guilty 😊

I thought so.

What do you write?

TheShellBeach · 07/01/2024 14:29

What's with all the Autism Bollocks?

Oh charming.

More ableist bollocks.

Cappuccino17 · 07/01/2024 14:30

Maybe she had planned mentally the day before that when you go she will have those fish and chips. And the craving got deeper and deeper as time approached and she was disappointed as she'd planned this. Some people can get extremely disappointed as food is very important to them and it affects their moods. I'm sure I had a similar incident when my favourite doughnut shop wasn't open and i was desperately craving the doughnut ( time of month) and felt a bit stroppy. She's your friend accept her for who she is, empathise with her! I'd struggle to have a mate like you to be blatantly honest. If you don't like her personality why do you hang out with her??

TheAlchemistElixa · 07/01/2024 14:32

kiwiaddict · 07/01/2024 12:56

Sounds like female undiagnosed autism

Thanks for taking the time out from your patients to stop by this thread and give a clinical diagnosis, doctor!

lto2019 · 07/01/2024 14:32

Never underestimate the power of the potato. I bet she had been looking forward to those chips since her last visit.

TitusMoan · 07/01/2024 14:33

Cartoonpeople · 07/01/2024 12:53

You sound more annoyed than concerned? The phrase 'having a word' brings images of a manager pulling up an employee on being late, not being worried about an old dear friend. I have had this with friends of mine in the past, so no judgement, but I would question whether you have reached the end of your tether with this particular friend.

Do you value her friendship still? Do you really enjoy spending time together? I think we can fall into a trap with old friends where we keep being friends even when its time has passed. If you do bring it up with her, I'd try and make sure you're in a space to do it calmly and empathetically, or it might come out wrong and make things worse. Try and think about what will illicit the response you are hoping for. It might be that something has happened in her past or is going on right now that you aren't aware of.

OP doesn’t sound annoyed. Bit of a reach there on your part. Btw it’s ‘elicit’. Illicit means illegal.

TheShellBeach · 07/01/2024 14:35

Isobel201 · 07/01/2024 13:59

Whether its autism or not, its weird behaviour to be so put out by a chip shop that's closed that she literally went over and stared through the window as if it was suddenly going to open. I have been diagnosed as on the spectrum as well, but I've never reacted like that.

Good for you. Neither have I reacted in such an extreme way, and I have autism.

But there are plenty of people with autism who do have very extreme reactions to changes like this.

I am capable of meltdowns for different reasons but I do understand that not every autistic person is like me. We all have different profiles.
Surely you understand this?

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