The Reverse Ick thread…

[Firefly2009]

What inconsequential things (or not so inconsequential!) have you done to embarrass yourself and caused a partner or date to get the ick? Perhaps you got dumped or he was never seen again. or perhaps you died of embarrassment and just went into hiding.

we were in the middle of dtd and he caught my boob with his elbow and it squirted him in the face with breast milk. He was dry heaving for ages after 😂

(he apologised for having that reaction and said he didn’t know why it made him felt icky but it just did)

For me it’s not about them liking gaming per se. It’s about the fact that a lot of gamers don’t engage in family life and just game. Equally I could apply that to many of the “outing hobbies” that people apparently have. It’s about being able to step away to engage in real life and parenting. Do that, don’t care what you do in your free time. Tell me that you don’t have time to do XYZ but spend hours on your hobby, go and do one because someone is picking up your slack.

Yes, I can relate to that.

My experience of my H's gaming was that he couldn't pause it? And so the world had to revolve around it? I found that so infantile - as though a game takes precedence over real life? It's an unhealthy disengagement from the world.

Scrolling and TV, you can step away from that stuff. But the fully immersive headphone experience I just relate to a child that gets absorbed in something and can't pull themselves back to reality.

That's normal for children, but for adults...

When I was 11 I had a boyfriend at church - lots of handholding and quick pecks on the lips

We got confirmed on the same day along with a load of other kids. I wore the most hideous outfit of all time - lilac culottes, a mustard and purple paisley shirt (tucked in and bagged out) and a massive lilac fabric padded headband (to hold back my huge frizzy triangluar curly bob).

I was dumped the next day. I can't say I blame him 😂

Seems a bit of an unfair reaction whyphone. This is a forum of opinions after all. Surely as a therapist yourself you are used to exploring other people’s opinions in a less defensive manner?!

I got dumped in my early 20s after 6 months, just out of the blue after a night out with no real explanation other than he realised that it wouldn't work out.

We had been out with friends when some drunk girl came over to him and was flirting with him, made an awkward pass at him.
He didn't really entertain her, was polite and kept looking at me. I took his facial impression as "this is weird but you know I'm not encouraging her etc". Interaction lasted no more than 5 minutes.

His friends told me later that he was disgusted by the fact I didn't react or get jealous or tell the girl to cut it out. I didn't because it was so harmless. Apparently this mean that there was "no way I was as into him as I said I was".

About 10 years later, I met him and his wife at a mutual friend's wedding where the wife told me she "didn't appreciate me talking to him given I was an ex" and spend the evening scowling at any women who did. These women were all old college friends too. They weren't flirty, just catching up.

The two of them genuinely look blissfully happy together but neither of them like when either of them talk to anyone of the opposite sex. Bizarre but well matched.

I'm not at work right now, I'm having a lighthearted discussion about kneejerk reactions and someone sees fit to try and delve into my childhood.

No.

I thought I'd blown a date with a tall handsome chap when I picked him up and drove us into town to the cinema - I was showing off, abruptly switched lanes down Colchester High Street (circa 1990) without looking, and almost caused an accident. He nearly shat himself and I thought he might do a runner from the car park.

He stuck with it though, and we went to the cinema as planned. Unfortunately, one of the opening ads was for Cadburys Dairy Milk, during which he turned to me and said, "Mmm, yummy."

Dangerous driving forgotten, I got the ick so bad I don't even remember what film we saw. Yummy, ewwww.

I read this quickly and thought you physically picked him up in Colchester high street 😂 thought his ick would be that you were strong enough to lift him 😬

This

Nah sorry it’s definitely ick territory. Because for one most gamers tend to play for HOURS on end practically addicted. This means they are totally absorbed in a virtual world and so disengaged in the real world- not attractive! Also spending hours sat playing games means they lead a very sedentary lifestyle which associates with poor health and fitness. Plus yeh, sorry, it also seems very teenage to me. And if someone spent hours playing board games I’d be saying exactly the same.

Look its a discussion of things that give people the ick. That’s utterly personal snd not a problem that needs to be analyzed away or talked through. Therapists—and Im one myself—don’t randomly offer to cure strangers of their personal preference and substitute our own preferences. The pro gaming poster was way out of line.

Told me I was too ‘alpha male like’

He was a typical gym bro who all the girls fancied, for some reason chased me and I was initially flattered. He turned out to be really boring and insecure. I wasn’t feeling it but he got in there before I could with that absolute nugget

In college I was pursued by an American guy and I eventually agreed to a date. He cooked me a meal in his rooms and plied me with drink. He definitely got the ick when I vomited copiously all over his bed.

I feel a bit guilty but it was a risk he took!

In a moment of madness early thirties I bleached and coloured my hair hot pink

My kids got the ick instantly and wouldn't be seen out with me

Dh never said anything about it but his bloody mother asked me about three days later when she saw it whilst side eyeing me from the kitchen if dh had said anything about whether he liked it or not whilst pulling a wry squinty facial expression.

I never told anyone but I absolutely hated it but kept it deliberately for an extra week just because 😏

@whyphone you’re not being lighthearted. You’re being defensive and passive aggressive. Surely you should be able to take a bit of challenging, as a therapist.

@pikkumyy77 as a therapist, you surely don’t need to say an anonymous poster is out of line for being curious about the source of someone’s ick

as a therapist, I think you both need to have some therapy and stop being so superior.

Start that thread, I'll comment on it

Same for me. DH is a gamer, and he does it when I am out. I have zero interest in playing virtual online games.

We do love Dungeons and Dragons and board games though. (DC as well).

When I was 19 or 20, I had a date where I went to a concert with a very tall and beautiful man from Iceland. I love concerts and danced quite a bit. My hair was in bunches at the time, and by the end of the concert, they weren't as neat as they were at the beginning of the evening.

He commented that I needed to go to the toilets, to look in the mirror and straighten up my hair, as he liked his women to look smart all the time... however, this is not my main concern when I am at a concert, and I knew from the look on his face when I said that, there would be no more dates.

To be fair, I did not want to see him again either...

1st date we went to the pub Sunday afternoon after meeting at my friends party the night before. He ordered me a cider and himself a coke. The barman poured a pint of cider and put cocktail umbrellas in the small coke 😂😂😂

He went really quiet whilst drinking the coke, with the umbrellas laying on the table and after a brief chat we went our separate ways 😂

Why should the poster who is a therapist be expected to have her professional work self on 24/7?! My icky thing is adults who like Harry Potter (sorry I know it's really popular)

That’s where you are wrong. As a therapist I’d like to remind you that we are not supposed to analyze other people without their consent to treat. Using our indight and work skill to push people to change against their will is not appropriate.

I think Whyphone was well within her rights as a random commenter here to request not to be targeted, critiqued, and pseudo psychoanalyzed by another poster for her personal preferences.

Oh no, my 16 year old daughter has some turquoise tie dye harem pants. They are hideous and she insists on wearing them out, she knows I hate them but she loves them! Will people be laughing at her! 🥺

Exactly. No one should be questioning someone else’s “ick” just because it offends them. Icks are personal some rational some not. No one need explain themselves to anyone and if they do decide to when questioned there shouldn’t be any grilling about it or reference to someone’s profession! Let’s keep it light hearted this is a hilarious thread!

A very rude therapist.. do you not encourage people to colour? Isn't that childish?

Never had the ick myself but am laughing at some of these.