The Reverse Ick thread…

[Firefly2009]

What inconsequential things (or not so inconsequential!) have you done to embarrass yourself and caused a partner or date to get the ick? Perhaps you got dumped or he was never seen again. or perhaps you died of embarrassment and just went into hiding.

"Your books are too intelligent" 😕 Apparently I should've leavened the classics on my shelves with an equal volume of light romantic fiction.

"You're too blonde." He didn't mean ditsy, though that would've been bad enough. He meant my hair colour. WTF?

TBF @whyphone you did start it and got the boot in, this isn't a thread about our icks, its a thread about when someone has got the ick about you.

You just started telling another poster that their date was justified in finding them icky for being a gamer, which is a bit dickish and has now derailed half this bloody light hearted thread as obviously that person was going to be defensive when you insulted them.

Fair comment.

But also please note - which you've omitted in your commentary that that poster referenced that it was a very common MN reaction to get the ick over gaming and I agreed that was the case for me.

If we're going to rehash the thread let's rehash the whole thing.

Or maybe just stop now?

Perhaps some posters who should possibly know better could make more of an effort to be understanding of the varied variousness of people in all their human glory. Please?

He hated cats, he knew I had 3 but still dated me

Then he broke up with me

A few months later he started messaging me looking to get back together... with the condition I get rid of my cats 😂

He was swiftly blocked and deleted!

I was dumped for laughing too much at a comedy film at the cinema - can't even remember what it was. His loss. He'd already told me he liked me because I wasn't beautiful. Whatever dude.

On a third date at his, my chicken Kiev burst as I pierced it and ejaculated grease all down his kitchen wall.

Being only 18 at the time, I got all embarrassed and stormed off, slamming his door behind me which he wasn’t very pleased about.

3 children and 19 years later….

You do realise none of these women are posting here "as a therapist" and none of them owe you a specific reaction or behaviour? Please stop using different nicknames, which is quite obvious, to try to get some revenge on women who happened to commit the sin of saying the get the ick from gamers, just because you happen to be one.

I get the ick from gamers and I am not a therapist. Fancy that.

DH and I game together.
Works for us.

All of this, summed up my feelings perfectly

GalileoHumpkins · Yesterday 16:31

A friend set me up on a blind date with her boyfriend's brother, I bought some sexy (to me anyway) red heels and he whined that I was wearing them on purpose to make myself taller than him. He was very sensitive about his height. He told my friend afterwards that I was fake and trying to make myself into something I wasn't ie a tall person.

Not to much a bullet as a blank dodged, there!

Filing him under "people who don't understand stagecraft".

When I was in my late teens I'd been dating a guy for quite a few months. One hot summer's night we were walking through town together and the public bins clearly hadn't been emptied in a while, and thanks to the hot weather they really reeked. I made some passing comment about this. The next day my boyfriend was really off with me and the relationship never recovered.

Much later, after we'd broken up, I found out he had thought my comment about the bins had been directed at a homeless person on the other side of the street I'd never be so callous and I was sad that he thought it was possible that I would, but clearly it gave him the instant ick.

I bought him a non alcoholic beer. He’d driven us to a party and told me he didn’t mind what drink he had. I also bought him a coke in case the beer was rank - this was the 90s before non alcoholic drinks took off, but my brother sometimes drank them so I genuinely thought he might want it. He looked disgusted when I gave it to him and was really off with me for the rest of the evening. When he dumped me the next day he also mentioned he liked someone else - one of his friends, who admittedly was rather enchanting. Unfortunately for him the day after that she started going out with his best friend.

He told me I (a woman) banged on about cycling too much. Sometimes when I read the "men and hobbies" threads on here I kind of get it.

TravelInHope: insecure man

i wouldn't say gaming gives me the ick, but this behaviour certainly does. You could born be describing my EX here. He always denied gaming much even though by the end he was spending probably 2-3 hours most week nights and more on the weekends gaming.

Cycling lycra would give me the ick.

Agree, I see it as a juvenile past time. I don’t get the attraction to it. It’s just a personal preference. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man that was a gamer.

One man I was dating stomped his foot petulantly when I connected my own dishwasher before he came round. He’d apparently been really excited to show off his man-skills and whined, “But if you can do all the DIY then why would you need me?!”

In my youthful stupidity I tried to reassure him that I didn’t need him, but I did want to be with him, and being with someone because I needed them to do tasks around the house was a daft reason to be in a relationship.

It was the beginning of my getting the ick for him, and conveniently an excuse for him to cheat (in his eyes). Lord save me from needy, insecure men.

Two of my own icks that I realised whilst doing online dating, are hilariously Therapists and Gamers (gamers who take it seriously, not just people who enjoy playing video games occasionally) 😁

It’s an awful generalisation and I’m sure it’s not true of everyone, but there are certain ways that teachers and therapists speak to people outside of their day jobs that are instantly ick-inducing.

Stopped straightening my hair. I have curly, fine hair and GHDs had recently been invented so I was enjoying not looking fluffy and frizzy for the first time in my life, but I didn’t straighten it every day.

He said he didn’t like curly hair, but after we’d broken up he dated someone with much longer and curlier hair than mine. I was furious.

tbf, I thought the poster who is into gaming was being quite defensive and crossing a line really by trying to suggest there was something wrong with whyphone (‘perhaps going back to her childhood’) just for finding gaming unattractive. I found it quite irritating and it wasn’t even directed at me.

Also, she’s not here in a professional capacity, she’s not on duty as a therapist, she doesn’t need to act as a therapist would at work with a client!

In the book "Families and How to Survive Them", therapist Robin Skynner makes an interesting point about this, to John Cleese's surprise. Many therapists are mid-range on the mental health spectrum, not supremely healthy as is often believed, or totally mad as is also often believed. Those with excellent mental health who have never had to work through any issues of their own often lack the insight needed to help somebody else to do so. He also makes the point that most people naturally believe that their own level of mental health is the healthiest, because we rate it according to our own values, and we instinctively look away from the aspects of ourselves we would rather not see, which is why it takes an objective outsider, i.e. a therapist, to point out what is not healthy.

@NoFleasOnMe the foot stomp made me laugh - my ex whined that he wanted me to "need" him. Something very worrying about men who don't like independent women and feel threatened by it.