I need a good talking to, bring me back down to earth vipers !

[GreenSilks]

I’ve been single for 6 years. Had one 6 month relationship in all that time. I have had approx 150 online coffee dates. I never fancy any of them.

In the 6 years I’ve just concentrated on bringing my 2 kids up, my career and making ends meet. I have a good life really, great family and friends but admittedly have been lonely for adult company. I go on holidays alone or with friends and am out most weekends doing sports or with friends.

All this is relevant as I don’t want anyone to think I’m just grasping at straws as I’m that desperate.

Anyway if I read on a thread on mumsnet what I’m about to post, I’d be rolling my eyes and jumping in with advice.

Here goes, 4 days ago I matched with someone on Tinder, there was an instant connection, and we went straight onto WhatsApp, at my suggestion. First red flag “instant connection” I mean what a load of shit, how can you “connect” with someone online??

We’ve talked on the phone a couple
of times, for 2 hours at a time. We laughed nonstop. It was just amazing.

Ok, second red flag …. He works abroad! I know! I know!! Although it’s 2 months away and 1 month home in the UK.

Third red flag- he’s 13 years younger than me! Tall, good looking and from what I can gather from the job he does, very financially secure. He has 2 young adult kids who he see regularly and an ex who isn’t a psycho.

Look I’m a veteran of on-line dating, and I’ve seen it all, but this guy I feel is 100% genuine! Although … 4th red flag I can’t find him on social media and I can normally find anyone!

Right vipers getting ready for the punchline. He’s home in 10 days and … I’m picking him up from the airport!

WTF! I am so excited, we’re talking about a future together. WE HAVEN’T EVEN MET!

He says he feels the same, he’s not gone as far to declare his undying love but he’s said loads of amazingly sweet things. It doesn’t feel like love bombing. He’s only (so he says) been in 2 relationships.

Wish I could enable voting on the App, but I’m being stupidly naive eh?

Should add, I'm in my 50's

The amount of fake military men online is astonishing.

I'm guessing he called but his video won't work.

Hello, all. We're just popping in with a reminder that trollhunting breaks our Talk Guidelines. Please always report posts to us if you have concerns, as calling people out on the threads really derails things.

Can he tell you what his job is? Or does he work for the secret service OP? 😉

And has he incurred a last minute incident involving cancelled flights, a frozen banking app and asked you to step in to the rescue yet?

Even if he is legit, this is in the realms of fantasy. If you've only seen photos of each other, then how do you know that his wasn't taken many years ago or is particularly flattering? I think that you risk feeling very deflated when you actually meet, if it gets that far.

That said, it's the cold dark winter months, so I completely understand you wanting a bit of excitement. And I do know someone who once travelled across the world to meet a stranger and it worked out.

Aww, thank you!! It is nice to make a comment like the one I did and not be accused of 'toxic positivity' (which is an insult that people who think that everything in the world is crap like to level at people who are more realistic) I truly believe that there are more good people in the world than bad, and that the bad ones are a lot easier to spot than you think, if you keep your wits about you. You'll be fine!

I'm guessing - he's nice and normal, or she wouldn't have felt what she did for him - so what if he is private and doesn't want his work mates hearing him talking to someone he's excited about? So what if his life could be seen in different ways - how many of us could say the same?

My money's on him being alright - my only worry is that he is 13 years younger.

I've met an amazing man on Tinder, and I feel differently for him than anyone before him....and it started like this one did, not being sure, you could argue against it all day long - but it is working out so well..

Just read whole thing. Definitely married to the villa mate, why can’t he go to the bathroom or another bedroom to talk ? Why is the mate not to hear him at all? Hope I’m wrong . Hope it’s all good for the OP and that she herself is real because I love her 😬🤭

If he contacts you from the airport saying he has been robbed/lost his wallet/lost his ticket and he wants you to send him £10/£100/£1000...

RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!

Her OP literally lists all the red flags she has spotted after 4 days of online chat...

.. Actually nevermind that, did you hear I have a bridge I can sell you?...😁

Just read the whole thing in one go and now I'm invested. Op has been gone a while so I guess they are having a good chat. I reckon he's got another family on the go tho that's why he has to go sit in the car n does 2 months somewhere else

You've had 150 online coffee dates, and not fancied one of the , and yet you think you'll love this guy so much on sight that you're picking him up from the airport???

You've lost sight of basic safety while online dating, this plan sounds like madness. Hope you have told someone where you are going (if it's such a great thing to do you shouldn't be embarrassed about telling a friend).

Following

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Begsthequestion - of course there are possible red flags! But they could also NOT be red flags. This is the first guy she has felt anything for in years - why piss all over it??? Does it not happen? Or just not for you??

They've been talking for 90 minutes now, so I'm guessing it's going well.

I really hope this works out for you OP. I think the biggest risk is that he will try to scam you in some way. However, you will be alert to anything like that. I would take the chance, pick him up, and trust your gut once you've spent some actual time with him. Good luck!

Honestly he probably lives abroad (with or without a wife & kids) travels to the UK for work/time off every couple of months

Very suspicious & suprised you havnt done a reverse image search when you first started talking about to donhim favours but would expect him to have photos of himself in uniform on his phone (?! Who carrys photos of themselves in work uniform on their phone anyway ?!)

Very suspicious & suprised you havnt done a reverse image search when you first started talking about to donhim favours but would expect him to have photos of himself in uniform on his phone (?! Who carrys photos of themselves in work uniform on their phone anyway ?!)

She did.

Military types.

Come on OP, at least put him on speakerphone so you have your hands free to write a quick update?!

I'm going for......he's a real person and was low level military. Now does something pedestrian (like most of us) and has made up the exciting career, and used a fake photo to make himself more appealing.

Cause his wifes finished cooking & the kids are in bed/out of the house 😬

Rubbish. I know several people who are not on social media, simply because they don't want to be.

Maybe military was a stretch and he was in the boy scouts..last year. ...

Oooh I'm excited to find out what happens!

Does he really call his housemate his villa mate?

coz that is wanky af

Argh, I posted before I read all the updates. I am on the edge of my seat!!! Hoping for an update soon 🤞🤞🤞

Ok first of all, I've already got one post deleted for troll hunting. I'm not a fucking troll!

How often have you seen mumnset come onto a thread a warm the troll hunters. Oh yes almost never!! So thank you @KimMumsnet for supporting a thread written by a poster of 20 years!

So whether you believe or not I genuinely don't care. But I am looking for advice and feedback!

Right, now I've done my "disappointed dad chat" can we get back to the matter at hand.

So yes he bloody FaceTimed! First of all the connection was horrendous, I mean absolutely horrendous and I thought "Here we go!!".

But he hung up and FaceTime backed. And it was him. The guy from the pictures.

He was sitting in his car. I asked him to turn his phone round and he did. I saw the complex.

We talked for what, an hour and half.

I'm so confused now. And guilty about this thread. What if he IS real!! Well he is real, I've seen him and talked to him.

And OMG I looked awful. Why the hell didn't I put some mascara on. He said I looked lovely (I didn't) we just laughed and laughed.

My head is all over the place.