I need a good talking to, bring me back down to earth vipers !

[GreenSilks]

I’ve been single for 6 years. Had one 6 month relationship in all that time. I have had approx 150 online coffee dates. I never fancy any of them.

In the 6 years I’ve just concentrated on bringing my 2 kids up, my career and making ends meet. I have a good life really, great family and friends but admittedly have been lonely for adult company. I go on holidays alone or with friends and am out most weekends doing sports or with friends.

All this is relevant as I don’t want anyone to think I’m just grasping at straws as I’m that desperate.

Anyway if I read on a thread on mumsnet what I’m about to post, I’d be rolling my eyes and jumping in with advice.

Here goes, 4 days ago I matched with someone on Tinder, there was an instant connection, and we went straight onto WhatsApp, at my suggestion. First red flag “instant connection” I mean what a load of shit, how can you “connect” with someone online??

We’ve talked on the phone a couple
of times, for 2 hours at a time. We laughed nonstop. It was just amazing.

Ok, second red flag …. He works abroad! I know! I know!! Although it’s 2 months away and 1 month home in the UK.

Third red flag- he’s 13 years younger than me! Tall, good looking and from what I can gather from the job he does, very financially secure. He has 2 young adult kids who he see regularly and an ex who isn’t a psycho.

Look I’m a veteran of on-line dating, and I’ve seen it all, but this guy I feel is 100% genuine! Although … 4th red flag I can’t find him on social media and I can normally find anyone!

Right vipers getting ready for the punchline. He’s home in 10 days and … I’m picking him up from the airport!

WTF! I am so excited, we’re talking about a future together. WE HAVEN’T EVEN MET!

He says he feels the same, he’s not gone as far to declare his undying love but he’s said loads of amazingly sweet things. It doesn’t feel like love bombing. He’s only (so he says) been in 2 relationships.

Wish I could enable voting on the App, but I’m being stupidly naive eh?

Should add, I'm in my 50's

Come on, need to know what kind of walt he is! Also, the company he works for, if it's real you can always google them, ring and say he's been given as a referee for xxx so you're just confirming he works for them & when he'll be back in the country. Companies House is your friend in this situation. And if he says it's not a UK company, let me know as I have companies house in several other countries bookmarked from a previous role...

Next he'll be telling you he can't provide photos as he was in the regiment.

I think you should catch up with the rest of OP’s posts…

It’s been a dull day today!

Got a feeling we may have been had. Either that or they are having a great chat.

Oh my God lol the suspense! One thing I would say is you are coming off a bit frantic/wired. This might put him off so try to calm down.

So I reckon we have at least an hour to wait...

Please. It was NEVER going to be a 5 min call. Either way.

Yeah I don't really think a lot of the detail adds up to make a coherent picture imo.

Has a four bedroom house, housemate is cooking in the kitchen. Can't facetime from anywhere in the house though, had to go sit outside in a car.

Can't be overheard talking to OP by said "housemate", for no given reason.

Has no social media access can't be found anywhere online, even linkdin, because he doesn't want to see his "not a psycho" ex online, though he presumably saw in real life anyway as he has two kids with her.

Ex-military, but has no photos in uniform to show OP, and no stories to share about his career even though OP is ex-military too.

OP doesn't know his real first name.

He's not love bombing but he's been saying really sweet things and they've been discussing a future life together, after 4 days of chat.

Sorry OP but I would be taking this very, very slow if I were you. And definitely not doing favours for him from day 1.

Waiting for OP to come back and remembered this thread from many years ago - such a lovely story to follow at the time

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/2586932-Dating-again-gulp-after-being-widowed

Literally just posting as a placemarker as I've gotten so invested and want to find out what happens next 😂

So excited….😆
please say it’s real 🥰

Soooo invested! Please don't let him be a nob...

Would it be wierd if we asked him for a zoom call so we could all silently join……

I want it to be real, but surely the “housemate” he can’t have overhear him is the wife!

Can’t see a problem with that. Reasonable I would say in the circumstances

I've got friends and colleagues with no social media presence believe me, I have tried pretty hard to find one for a particular person 🤣

Please be careful 😳 frankly, talking about a future together at this stage is a MASSIVE red flag. Don't get your head turned by lovebombing, it's not romantic and exciting, it's scary and almost always means that the person is insecure and will end up being clingy and controlling. Just tread really carefully and don't rush into anything PLEASE 🙏

Of course it’s not real! The OP is a brilliant storyteller, I’ll give her that - it’s livened up an otherwise dull Thursday

Wow I'm hooked and hugely invested. Also quite keen to make sure this chap has a huge Mumsnet welcome when he lands back in the uk. We could make welcome home banners and flags. It would be lovely!

👀👀

I missed the part where OP says she doesn't know his first name. That wouldn't fly with me at all.

Also, why does he need picking up from airport? Why not just meet up for dinner once he's settled in his accommodation?

So many questions.

But what about the screenshotssss? Don't tell me it's all made up 😣

How can you tell what is real and what isn't?

Because to me, if this isn't real then neither are about 30% of the posts on MN.

Looking foreword to the update op!

She does know his first name!
She was talking about not knowing his ex's first name so she couldn't stalk her on sm