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Saying no to this very strange set up of a date

117 replies

Lilllypad11 · 03/01/2024 20:24

Had a really great chat with this guy. Seemed lovely, no issues at all. All worked out fine, he said let’s meet up some time. So I offered a date, he said he’d check his work schedule and get back to me. i suggested today and he said can’t confirm but will let you know.

so I was fine with it and said no issues. Anyway, today he said “today still okay” so I said “sure”

then it got weird he said “I hurt my leg, it’s gonna need to be a drive thru type of coffee date” so i went “I’m not sitting in your car the first time I meet you. Sorry that’s odd” he said “no one’s ever said it’s weird” so I said “I’ll be the first. Meet me in an open space or it’s not happening” he then said “well my family might see me so I’m not sure” I said “well then you should have thought of that before.” He was like “you’re really gonna be stubborn over this are you. You’re making it so complicated for nothing. But clearly you’re fobbing it off” I said “well I’m not but I’m not meeting you in your car. I’ve told you why” he then proceeded to say “well I said why I can’t” so I said “look let’s leave it here.” Then he said “fine I’ll meet you” so I stopped replying. He then rang my phone twice.

please someone tell me have I been unfair to this man by saying I don’t want to sit in his car. Then turning down his offer to meet inside after thr commotion he made. Have I dodged a bullet

OP posts:
Comedycook · 03/01/2024 20:26

Yanbu...no way would I meet him

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/01/2024 20:26

Well done OP- absolute weirdo. Any normal bloke who had proposed that would have realised it made you uncomfortable- rightly so- actually a normal bloke wouldn’t have proposed that.

Bankholidayhelp · 03/01/2024 20:26

Bullet well dodged!

sickbucket67 · 03/01/2024 20:26

Of course you haven’t been unfair

you’ve dodged a massive bullet

what a weirdo

I’m sure some pickme will come along and say you were being mean; but she can go on the date with the weird aggressive man with the bad leg at the costa drive thru if she wants

Feliciacat · 03/01/2024 20:27

I literally went for drive thru coffee with someone and they took me to a deserted canal front and tried to force themself on me. It was terrifying and I was lucky I got away. Never ever go in a car with someone you don’t know.

He tried to say I was no fun and was being unreasonable to object to him assaulting me. Abusers think they’re never wrong. He sounds just like that from the way he’s blaming you. Well done for sticking up for yourself. I’d block him if I were you; he is no good.

Vettrianofan · 03/01/2024 20:28

You did the right thing. Always trust your instincts - it never lets you down.

AlisonDonut · 03/01/2024 20:29

Gawd no block him.

SidekickSylvia · 03/01/2024 20:29

What did he mean by 'Well, my family might see me so I'm not sure'?

I'd block him/ ignore him now.

DesuOwl · 03/01/2024 20:29

Fuck that, no way.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 03/01/2024 20:30

You definitely made the right call!

Plus if “no one” has ever said it’s weird how many times has he used an injured leg as a reason that women must get into his car for a first date?

ElleLeopine · 03/01/2024 20:31

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 03/01/2024 20:30

You definitely made the right call!

Plus if “no one” has ever said it’s weird how many times has he used an injured leg as a reason that women must get into his car for a first date?

Yes, this!

WhichIsItWendy · 03/01/2024 20:31

So he has a hurt leg? Or a family he doesn't want him to see?

Definitely dodged a bullet there!

Kdubs1981 · 03/01/2024 20:31

Married

BrieAndChilli · 03/01/2024 20:31

If he can drive with a ‘bad leg’ then he can make it inside a cafe or whatever.
the family might see him spiel makes me think he’s married or something and so is hiding his dates.

Astridspuzzle · 03/01/2024 20:32

Feliciacat · 03/01/2024 20:27

I literally went for drive thru coffee with someone and they took me to a deserted canal front and tried to force themself on me. It was terrifying and I was lucky I got away. Never ever go in a car with someone you don’t know.

He tried to say I was no fun and was being unreasonable to object to him assaulting me. Abusers think they’re never wrong. He sounds just like that from the way he’s blaming you. Well done for sticking up for yourself. I’d block him if I were you; he is no good.

That must have been terrifyingFeliciacat💐

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 03/01/2024 20:32

“Had a really great chat with this guy. Seemed lovely, no issues at all. All worked out fine, he said let’s meet up some time. So I offered a date, he said he’d check his work schedule and get back to me. i suggested today and he said can’t confirm but will let you know.

so I was fine with it and said no issues. Anyway, today he said “today still okay” so I said “sure”

then it got weird he said “I hurt my leg, it’s gonna need to be a drive thru type of coffee date” so i went “I’m not sitting in your car the first time I meet you. Sorry that’s odd”

———————————————————————

This should have been where it ended. You stated what you were comfortable with, it’s up to him whether he’s happy with that or not, but he should not push back.

Chuffaluffa · 03/01/2024 20:33

Absolutely married.

with dating, especially a first date, I think going with your gut is ALWAYS the way to go. Don’t ever doubt it- his reaction tells you everything you need to know.

PinkyBlueMe · 03/01/2024 20:34

I'd wonder if married. Given the refusal to commit until last minute and wanting to stay in his car! Either way he was dismissive of your very valid concerns and behaved like you were a pain.
Dodged a bullet.

LakeTiticaca · 03/01/2024 20:35

No way 😳 he sounds a dodgy one. I wouldn't get in a strange blokes car
Chuck this one back in the sea

NonPlayerCharacter · 03/01/2024 20:37

Have I dodged a bullet

I think you've dodged a bloody ballistic missile.

DuchessPotato · 03/01/2024 20:41

NonPlayerCharacter · 03/01/2024 20:37

Have I dodged a bullet

I think you've dodged a bloody ballistic missile.

With knobs on

bendypines · 03/01/2024 20:46

SidekickSylvia · 03/01/2024 20:29

What did he mean by 'Well, my family might see me so I'm not sure'?

I'd block him/ ignore him now.

That's what I was thinking. What a weird thing to say. Especially since his family would probably recognise his car and its registration anyway.

Well dodgy. Him saying "no-one's ever said it's weird" also implies that he's done this at least once before.

Annonymiss123 · 03/01/2024 20:50

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 03/01/2024 20:30

You definitely made the right call!

Plus if “no one” has ever said it’s weird how many times has he used an injured leg as a reason that women must get into his car for a first date?

Ted Bundy used a “broken arm” excuse.

This guy may not be a serial killer, but he’s definitely dodgy!

Comedycook · 03/01/2024 20:53

Kdubs1981 · 03/01/2024 20:31

Married

And that's best case scenario

BusinessSecretsOfThePharaoh · 03/01/2024 20:54

He’s either a complete weirdo, or he’s a married weirdo.

Either way, well done for standing your ground.

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