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Saying no to this very strange set up of a date

117 replies

Lilllypad11 · 03/01/2024 20:24

Had a really great chat with this guy. Seemed lovely, no issues at all. All worked out fine, he said let’s meet up some time. So I offered a date, he said he’d check his work schedule and get back to me. i suggested today and he said can’t confirm but will let you know.

so I was fine with it and said no issues. Anyway, today he said “today still okay” so I said “sure”

then it got weird he said “I hurt my leg, it’s gonna need to be a drive thru type of coffee date” so i went “I’m not sitting in your car the first time I meet you. Sorry that’s odd” he said “no one’s ever said it’s weird” so I said “I’ll be the first. Meet me in an open space or it’s not happening” he then said “well my family might see me so I’m not sure” I said “well then you should have thought of that before.” He was like “you’re really gonna be stubborn over this are you. You’re making it so complicated for nothing. But clearly you’re fobbing it off” I said “well I’m not but I’m not meeting you in your car. I’ve told you why” he then proceeded to say “well I said why I can’t” so I said “look let’s leave it here.” Then he said “fine I’ll meet you” so I stopped replying. He then rang my phone twice.

please someone tell me have I been unfair to this man by saying I don’t want to sit in his car. Then turning down his offer to meet inside after thr commotion he made. Have I dodged a bullet

OP posts:
Klcak · 04/01/2024 02:38

Don’t reply to any more messages. Total weirdo.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 02:55

You should report him
To the dating app

Lilllypad11 · 04/01/2024 02:58

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 02:55

You should report him
To the dating app

I did! He really got weird. The statement “why you acting like im holding a gun to your head” or whatever it was. Really made me think. Hmm, maybe you would. Maybe you are unhinged.

OP posts:
Hardtodothis · 04/01/2024 03:04

Was he 17 and just passed his test? Although that would probably have been a McDonald’s drive thru rather than a coffee wouldn’t it?

Massive bullet dodged OP! Well done.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 03:04

So in that sense you don't want to aggravate him- a firm but pleasant it's not going to work out but I wish you all the best and then blocking.

LittleMissSunshiner · 04/01/2024 03:09

He sounds terrifying, abusive, and controlling

Reading between the lines I think he's maybe got whatever dating app you're on mixed up with some sort of casual sex / dogging / hooker site. He sounds like someone who thinks he's booking a prostitute and calling the shots.

Do dating apps get a lot of hookers and desperate (for money) women on them?

Lilllypad11 · 04/01/2024 03:10

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/01/2024 03:04

So in that sense you don't want to aggravate him- a firm but pleasant it's not going to work out but I wish you all the best and then blocking.

I did. I just said I’m sorry I think the misunderstanding has probably gone too far now and it’s better for us both to just leave it. He had a huff over it and I just blocked.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 04/01/2024 03:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’ve just read the op’s posts from these others 2 threads…

Tonight1 · 04/01/2024 03:44

No I wouldn't feel safe with that

Anyway he's history. Off to the bin with him!

Lilllypad11 · 04/01/2024 03:48

Tonight1 · 04/01/2024 03:44

No I wouldn't feel safe with that

Anyway he's history. Off to the bin with him!

Totally.

OP posts:
Schneekugel · 04/01/2024 03:49

LittleMissSunshiner · 04/01/2024 03:09

He sounds terrifying, abusive, and controlling

Reading between the lines I think he's maybe got whatever dating app you're on mixed up with some sort of casual sex / dogging / hooker site. He sounds like someone who thinks he's booking a prostitute and calling the shots.

Do dating apps get a lot of hookers and desperate (for money) women on them?

I don't think so. But I think they do get a lot of men with a bad attitude towards women and who are only looking for sex. They know it's a dating site but they don't care and will do whatever they can get away with in terms of pushing boundaries or tell whatever lies they need to get a woman into bed. These ones don't like, care about or respect women. There's a lot of them around.

JingleSnowmanTree · 04/01/2024 03:53

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 03/01/2024 20:30

You definitely made the right call!

Plus if “no one” has ever said it’s weird how many times has he used an injured leg as a reason that women must get into his car for a first date?

I was just going to ask that!

plus his family might see him???? So is he married with kids?

FMD all this before you've met for coffee?

no way I'd see him, not anywhere!

LadyChilli · 04/01/2024 04:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Snowdogsmitten · 04/01/2024 07:46

Eleven threads in under a fortnight.

LightSpeeds · 04/01/2024 08:05

"After it he kept sending me iMessages aswell. Saying IM the unreasonable one. I kept saying please stop and he just carried on and on"

It's scary how quickly some seemingly nice men can 'turn' like this. It makes me wonder what the 'veneer of decency' is really covering (came across this too while OLD).

A friend of mine recently had a first OLD and he persuaded her to get in his car. He tried to assault her.

CopperLion · 04/01/2024 09:44

GirlAfraid84 · 03/01/2024 23:30

As if the rest isn’t bad enough, I’d sack him off for his constant use of the word ‘literally’.

Well done for trusting your instincts!

Same here. As if it wasn’t bad enough already.

Sartre · 04/01/2024 10:18

Why would it matter if his family saw him on a date exactly? He’s obviously in a relationship or married, it’s the only explanation for that one.

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