Elevenerifers | Mumsnet

Sharrilanda · 2023-12-31T08:58:11+00:00

Do you know any? What’s the best approach to take when it is constant? Going into the new year, am resolving to not just roll my eyes and keep quiet, but want to say something in the hope that they’ll actually stop. Or am I asking for miracles here? 😆 Advice please wise MNs!

FrenchFancie · 31/12/2023 09:02

I work with an elevenerether- to be honest I couldn’t get her to stop so now I have fun pushing to see how far she’ll go.
she claimed she met the pope recently……

youveturnedupwelldone · 31/12/2023 09:05

They won't stop.

If you can't remove them from your life, the best approach is to turn it into a bit of a game, as poster above said try and see how far your can push them with their ridiculousness.

It can also be amusing to call them on their nonsense every now and then, they tend not to remember their in the moment ridiculous claims so bring one up a few weeks later every now and then.

Lulu1919 · 31/12/2023 09:08

Just had to look that word up !!!

therestoomanycolours · 31/12/2023 09:09

Our office one can get very nasty. The type to have been ‘bullied’ everywhere she’s worked.

Ignoring is the way forward.

QueSyrahSyrah · 31/12/2023 09:09

We have one. He won't stop, even when called out on inconsistencies in his tale mid-flow. We just roll our eyes and laugh about it later. It helps that he's a good soul without a scrap of harm in him, he just has the gift of the gab (and then some).

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 31/12/2023 09:11

Laugh them off and ignore.

PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 09:12

therestoomanycolours · 31/12/2023 09:09

Our office one can get very nasty. The type to have been ‘bullied’ everywhere she’s worked.

Ignoring is the way forward.

Is she fairly new? Our one sounds very similar but she left this year to go and work somewhere else. She was sick of the toxic culture apparently. Strangely, it's a heck of a lot less toxic now she's buggered off!

PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 09:13

Lulu1919 · 31/12/2023 09:08

Just had to look that word up !!!

I'm slightly disappointed. I thought it was going to be a thread about elevenses. I do like a nice snack

CherryogDog · 31/12/2023 09:14

I know a ninerifer, any ailment, any bad experience you've had, she's had it a billion times worse.
Reminds me of the Dawn and French sketch where they're in the doctor's waiting room, one had a headache, the other a migraine, then an aneurism etc etc until one said she'd died 😄

Original poster

Sharrilanda · 31/12/2023 09:16

Apologies @Lulu1919

It comes from one person saying they’ve been to Tenerife, then someone will pipe up say they’ve been to Elevenerife, as a way of trying to always go one better!
It can go the other way too, the race to the bottomers…

Thanks for responses so far, that’s just it, it can be quite farcical.
And yes, work place based so unavoidable unfortunately.
Maybe we should get all the Elevenerifers together and sit back and watch the show 😂

@FrenchFancie The pope! That’s quite a claim, how on earth did you respond? 😆

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TheaBrandt · 31/12/2023 09:18

A university acquaintance of Dh is one of these. Shame we’ve lost touch as she was absolutely hilarious. She didn’t get a job after an interview and declared it was just because the panel were “jealous”.

When she had her first baby before we arrived Dh said the birth will either be the best birth or the worst ever. As we walked in we heard “Addenbrookes said it was the WORST birth they had ever dealt with”

JollyJolene · 31/12/2023 09:20

Oh yes! Also known as Top Trumpers. I’ve encountered many in my time. I have learnt to say ‘oh right!’ and move on… mostly. 😂

Ormside · 31/12/2023 09:23

Smile and wave, smile and wave. You won't change them.

BeyondMyWits · 31/12/2023 09:27

I work with 4 (and looking at that... it appears to be rubbing off😄😄 )

I have had 3 heart attacks over the past 10 years and I am still the 5th ill-est in the office. I just nod empathetically, and interject with a "how wonderful/awful for you" as required. I do not generally socialise with my workmates, so at least it is confined to the work part of my day.

Littlebitpsycho · 31/12/2023 09:28

FrenchFancie · 31/12/2023 09:02

I work with an elevenerether- to be honest I couldn’t get her to stop so now I have fun pushing to see how far she’ll go.
she claimed she met the pope recently……

@FrenchFancie that's hilarious 😂 how did you get her to say that?

Reallybadidea · 31/12/2023 09:35

Not sure whether this counts as an elevenerifer experience, but I was chatting in our office the other day about our rescue dog who we got about 6 months ago. He was 5 but had lived in a barn all his life, never been a pet, wasn't house trained, scared of everything and very emotionally shut down etc.

In the last 6 weeks (and after months of training!) he has suddenly learned the command 'sit' and and he's so bloody proud of himself! It's literally the only 'trick' he can do but is now a happy, socialised dog who loves life. So I was talking about how hard he's worked to learn these basic things and what a sweet dog he is considering his horrible start in life. A colleague whipped out his phone and started showing me videos of his dog doing all his tricks like jumping over things, spinning, crawling etc 🙄I don't mind really but why do people like him - and their pets - always have to be better than everyone else?

FrenchFancie · 31/12/2023 09:37

@Littlebitpsycho I work in a catholic primary school, so it’s not quite as far fetched as it might have been!
she went on holiday to Rome - I mentioned that I’d gone years ago but had had to cut short my trip to St Peter’s as I was ill, she started telling me all about the bits I missed, the things I hadn’t seen etc etc and I was asking a few questions and next thing you know the Pope himself apparently walked by and blessed her!! The whole staff room were just sat speechless, it was hilarious!

HottestEverRecordedTemperature · 31/12/2023 09:41

I know one in a working group I belong to. It was tedious at first but now is quite funny to see how far she goes.

Recently she was talking about;

how the only way to travel to the races is by helicopter (to see 'her' horses run of course- she is one of about a billon in a syndicate.... and more to the point I saw her get on the train at Waterloo
How the only way to deal with the COL is to go mortgage free and she does not know why everyone does not try it

There are many examples but I'd probably out myself.

I might see if I can get her to claim she once had a personal audience with the Pope when I casually mention we are going to Rome for our anniversary.

alloalloallo · 31/12/2023 09:42

I’ve got 2 in my office. I know that makes me sound like n Elevenerifer myself, but honestly, I love it when they get going.

One worked in Dubai and starts every conversation with “when I was in Dubai…” and the other worked in the Saudi Arabia and the Elevenerifing between them is fantastic.

You can set them off with a simple comment like “I bought new curtains” and Mr Dubai will tell you that when he was in Dubai he bought 3 sets of new curtains, then Mr Saudi Arabia will slam dunk with when he was in Saudi Arabia he had a maid who hand sewed 6 pairs of curtains from gold thread and hung them up for him.

I love it.

Miloandfreddy · 31/12/2023 09:45

I too worked with one of these. A girl who worked with us was off sick as she'd just had a miscarriage. She claimed really loudly for the whole office to hear that she couldn't have possibly had as many miscarriages as she had, and she too was technically losing a baby right now as her period had been late by two days. She was the type to say her child was severely unwell every time they sneezed too. God she was awful.

PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 09:45

I work with 4 (and looking at that... it appears to be rubbing off😄😄 )

I think we may have had the first one join the thread!

Only joking Beyond

Grimpo · 31/12/2023 09:48

CherryogDog · 31/12/2023 09:14

I know a ninerifer, any ailment, any bad experience you've had, she's had it a billion times worse.
Reminds me of the Dawn and French sketch where they're in the doctor's waiting room, one had a headache, the other a migraine, then an aneurism etc etc until one said she'd died 😄

I used to know someone like this. It was quite fun seeing how far she would go with her claims - in the end she confidently claimed she had had rigor mortis.

LakeTiticaca · 31/12/2023 09:50

I used to work with a twelverifer. Tales of him carrying out daring rescues in serious road crashes etc, he knew the Queen, on and on it went. He would become very defensive if challenged . It was a shame really as he was a nice guy, always helpful when needed, but obviously people used to laugh behind his back and take the piss out of him. I think he must have had some kind of syndrome, as some of the tales he told were so outrageous they couldn't possibly be true yet he just couldn't seem to stop

AtomicBlondeRose · 31/12/2023 09:53

We know someone like this. The thing is everything he says could plausibly be true so I don’t even know if he’s lying/exaggerating, but it’s literally everything you mention. The other day we were talking about someone being a gravedigger and he pipes up with “I’ve dug a grave!”. DP and I were expecting it so we couldn’t make eye contact.

Original poster

Sharrilanda · 31/12/2023 09:55

Omg these are hilarious, thanks for sharing! I love hearing about all your experiences.

I now cannot wait to get back to work and tell my Elevenerifer that there are others out there who have practically been blessed by the pope, owns race horses and a helicopter 😂

@TheaBrandt that’s reminded me of when I was telling my manager that I was pregnant, she winked and said “Wait till Office Elevenerifer hears, she’ll be at my door announcing she’s pregnant with quads in a minute” 😁

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