Elevenerifers

[Sharrilanda]

Do you know any?
What’s the best approach to take when it is constant?

Going into the new year, am resolving to not just roll my eyes and keep quiet, but want to say something in the hope that they’ll actually stop.
Or am I asking for miracles here? 😆

Advice please wise MNs!

My DH just told me he was on nineterhooks to hear more about the elevenerifers/ninerifers - bloody love MNisms. These stories are gold. 🤣

I like the phrase ninerifer. One of my grandmother's was like that. We always said her eventual headstone ought to say; ' I TOLD you I was ill'. (It didn't). But if you had a cold she had pneumonia. You had a headache she had a brain tumour. She told my cousin when she was getting married (her granddaughter) that ; 'If i collapse with this headache as you walk up the aisle it will be my day not yours'. That was the first time I ever saw her get a thorough dressing down by anyone- my aunt the mother of the bride.

If OP asks if you know an Elevenerife, but you know a Twelverife, does that mean you're actually the Elevenerife? 🤔😂

What are they??

We had one as a temp at work- she was terrible at her job but hilarious to listen to. When she left she “forgot” to turn in a piece of equipment so we had to chase her for it- were getting emails from her then didn’t hear from her for a while- eventually got an email where she claimed to have been in hospital at deaths door- thought this was her just being dramatic until her sister got in touch to say she’d died- she really had been at deaths door!
The saddest thing was despite all her claims of rich partner & active social life etc she had actually been dead for 2 weeks before her body was discovered at home by police.

My brother is an elevenerifer. Especially with my sister. They both live in houses from the same housing association. Of course his is the bigger, better, more expensive one.
Sis got a new car. Bro got the bigger, better version of it.
The fact he's a married man with 3 children and sis is a single parent of 1 so they have different needs is irrelevant.

They also (bro and his wife) have far worse mental health problems than anyone else. They choose not to take their medication if they're somewhere where drink is involved (most weekends) so they can't be that unwell.

I kind of feel sorry for them. Their lives must be so boring if they feel they have to out anxiety/depression others.

You see, I'm the oldest in my office and have about 20 years' extra life experience than everyone else, and I was worried recently that I was an elevenerife-er. But I have only dull stories to tell, nothing so noteworthy as meeting the pope or hand-sewn gold curtains...

I just learned a new word!

i definitely know a few ninerifers. When DH was very poorly a few years ago they all showed themselves.

I once had a chest infection and MIL insisted on visiting. She was furious as she hated others being ill and complained the antibiotics I’d been talking for 12 hours hadn’t cured me. So she cleared her throat and went ‘I hope that’s not pneumonia’.

I know one. She's a know-it-all too, along with it. Just downright tedious. I don't entertain it anymore and don't talk to her much.

I had to look it up too. My eyes treid to make sense of it by reading it as elven airfriers. Thought it would be a product review sort of a thread.

I work with one

I was talking to another woman yesterday and she was saying how proud she is of herself as she's saved up 1k (she's on a tight budget and it's amazing she's saved it)

Him-i have 2k in my bank

Someone else was saying he's getting a new posh phone

Him-im getting the even better phone

I was saying we are looking into getting new doors for my upstairs rooms as the ones we have are shite

Him-not only is his one bed flat bigger than my 3 bed house,his new doors are twice the price of the ones I'm looking at

Another lady has just bought a puppy and was telling me all about her

Him-i have 5 dogs and they are bigger and better than your puppy (he doesn't have any dogs-his parents do)

I avoid him like he has nits

Devise your own oneupmanship tale that beats theirs hands down, get everyone bought into bigging up your tale . Then, tell your tale, everyone pretends to believe it. When your colleague starts challenging it, everyone beats them down. When they start their tale, everyone talks about your tale, interrupting them big time. I think they'll get the message, but consistency is the key. Don't let yoyr guard down even once.

I'd also recommend they have counselling. I've no idea why people do what they do, but it's unlikely to have come from a good place...

One worked in Dubai and starts every conversation with “when I was in Dubai…” and the other worked in the Saudi Arabia and the Elevenerifing between them is fantastic.

Are you sure they aren't just saying Derby with a very strong Black Country accent?

The Pope ones remind me of the silly old joke about the man who claims to know and be known by everybody - I can't remember properly how it goes, but it ends up with him standing on the balcony at the Vatican with the Pope and everybody asking "Who on earth is that bloke up there, wearing the white robe and the big hat, who's standing next to Bob?"

He’s long gone now, but I still laugh at something my DF once said. My DM was telling me about some friend or neighbour who had newly been diagnosed with some very uncommon disease.

DF piped up immediately with ‘For God’s sake don’t tell Winnie Vinegar-Bottle* - she’ll know someone who’s had it twice!’

*His name for his sister in law!

This one made me laugh out loud!!

My child’s dad is like this even if our daughter is being sick he’s had seizure and been sick all day. My mum had terminal cancer and he cried that he is man died of it when I found out.

they can be funny but also extremely hurtful and toxic I choose to not open the door on any communication after he blocked me when our 1 year old had a 40 degree fever and his reason being he was being sick and the light from the phone when I text to tell him was giving him a migraine .

We have a few like this in our close family! Definitely ninereefers though, thanks for the intro to that phrase!
When they come over DH and I have a mental bingo board for certain key phrases that we know will come up! It doesn't stop it but it entertains us.
One day I'll write the bingo board down and actively hope that one of them finds it so they can see how ridiculous they sound.

My elevenrifer is my mother. Its both entertaining and exhausting.

Recent example... I've been ill recently. But apparently my illness was worse for her, as she had to deal with the worry of it...

What? Ninereefers/Elevenereefers

Surely a 9ereefer is the opposite of the 11ereefer?

eleven -one upping
Nine - always have it worse so race to the bottom

I understand it that an Elevenerifer has done better than you, and a Ninerifer has had it worse.

If you've had an invite to a Buckingham Palace garden party, Elevenerife has had a private tea with the Queen/King.

If you've had a verruca, Ninerife almost had to have their foot amputated.

I work with an Elevenifer and a race to the bottomer... they don't get on and due to the fact it's a small team who work closely it's tiresome to say the least

These people are so tedious - my last job had a good few and there were only 20 of us in total.

Constant back and forth between the lot of them, luckily I was their line manager and could address it in a team meeting which made it more bearable going forward!

Several at work, mostly all female too.
One is currently pregnant and on light duties (HCP/blue light) so I can imagine it'll ramp up.
Most of her claims are ludicrously silly, a fairly recent one was that she got stingered by the police as they were chasing a stolen Bentley and mistook her car.... drives a fiesta 🤣
It's tedious and people laugh at her behind her back which is sad, but she's brings it all upon herself.