Elevenerifers

[Sharrilanda]

Do you know any?
What’s the best approach to take when it is constant?

Going into the new year, am resolving to not just roll my eyes and keep quiet, but want to say something in the hope that they’ll actually stop.
Or am I asking for miracles here? 😆

Advice please wise MNs!

My teen with ASD had just returned from an international college exchange. Whilst there he'd climbed a high building (he's afraid of heights!)
Local elevenerifer 'had been to that City & climbed to a higher level when he was young'. What an absolute that, to try to steal the glory from a disabled kid! Proud as I was of Ds achievements I was even prouder when he pointed out that that level of the building only opened to the public last year ...⭐

Agreed. Elevenerifers are people that like one-upmanship. So if you bought a five bedroom house, they bought a six bedroom house. But also the other way, if you had migraine they had a brain tumour.

@FrenchFancie Tbf if she was in Rome, the pope does get about a bit! He drove down my road and blessed the crowd. I guess at a push I could claim to have met him.😂

My ex-MIL is an elevenerifer. She had always been where I had been but well before me, I mean everywhere, and more times. She had even been to see films before they were on general release lol. Thank goodness ex-DH was nothing like her.

It's such an irritating trait to be around, however an Elevenerifer possesses an extreme inferiority complex. They constantly feel the need to prove him/herself to anyone who will pay attention. It's actually a cry for help from an unconfident person who believes they are great for doing everything better, faster, bigger etc. Their main interest is being better than you and often their stories will be far fetched and obviously fabricated (some even cringeworthy!). They need others to compete with and prove themselves against, since they can't feel good unless someone feels bad.

I can only suggest ignoring them, as confronting them will only make them feel like a victim and things may get worse. Probably worth remembering that he/she will never be happy for as long as they continue the oneupmanship.

I learned on this site that the other name for these people is a "two shits Dave". Because if you did one shit, he'd have done two.

I know one. He gets so twisted in his own lies he actually told me a bragging story about something crazy that happened to him. Unfortunately, he had just repeated a very real scenario I encountered. I had told him the year before. 🙄

BIL is like this, I find saying "Wow, that's amazing" in the tone you use for toddlers who've managed to poo on the potty is both satisfying for me and shuts him up.

I'd also never heard the expression - from the first few posts I wondered if it was some ridiculous 'spirituality' thing or something that I'd never heard of!

I couldn't c&p the French and Saunders sketch but I found it on tik tok for anyone who wants to see it.

Mine is a distant family member. It was mostly reserved for FANTASTIC places she's been on holiday (they are all very mid range places but she portrays them as 6 star venues that only top celebrities go to) but when her daughter had her first baby she became the by proxy elevenerifer. The staff had never seen someone so composed in labour, and her c/s scar was INCREDIBLE, all the doctors and midwives in the hospital came to look at it and admire it because they'd never seen it done so well 🤔 Then of course her grandchild was so incredibly gifted and everyone who was anyone (usually people she befriended in her 6 star hotels) commented on how CLEVER he was and was showing signs of being an absolute prodigy. Haven't spoken to her since the baby was 6 weeks old so god only knows what accolades he has now that he's 2!

Don't know why the middle section is in bold!

My "D"M will tell stories as if they've happened to her but have actually happened to others, including me.

DH doesn't call them elevenerifers, he calls them "Elephant Bags" - because if you had an elephant, they'd have a bag to put it in.

His DF (my FIL) is one of the worst elephant bags I've ever had the misfortune to meet. He'll do some version of one-upping you whatever you say, he's unbearable.

We had one in school some years ago. She was obviously lying, she’d pause to think what to say then come out with some outrageous story. She’d previously been an air hostess and of course had met everyone even remotely famous, all of who fancied her (obvs!) It was really weird, she was lovely, popular, but had this bizarre need to go bonkers over the top with her stories. You’d tell her something and she’d immediately elevenerife it. 🤷‍♀️

I love Elevenerifers and Ninerifers. My sister is both... (because she is a twelverifer)

We were playing a (children's) game last summer, which she was absolutely determined to win, and lost her shit in amazing style because one of her answers wasn't quite correct.

She stalked off in a mardy muttering about contacting the creators so they could correct their error because she has a first class degree in English Literature and "knows" the answer.

@JiraffDeSaki DH and I absolutely creased at Elephant Bags

My mother is a ninerifer

I lost a baby-she lost 3

I had pnd twice-she had it 3 times

I fell pregnant and had an easy birth but really suffered with the afterpains-shed had twins so her pain was off the scale,the doctors couldn't contain her pain but she struggled through

My milk kicked in at 3 days after the birth-hers had kicked in the second she pissed on the pregnancy test

I went back to college to get some qualifications-they found out I'm dyslexic-she's dyslexic to the point of almost brain damage,so she couldn't get an education as they'd never seen someone suffer so badly

I'd find a bargain in a charity shop-she never found any bargains (so untrue-her house is stuffed with crap she bought for pennies)

I'd get tipsy on say 2 drinks-shed sniffed the sealed vodka bottle and got plastered off the fumes

I broke my ankle-shed shattered every bone in her foot

My son broke his arm a few weeks later-the doctors almost amputated hers-theyd never seen a break so bad

My toenail just fell off one day-her whole toe nearly fell off and it spread and she almost died

I chipped my nail polish on one finger-her whole finger was swollen the next day (it wasnt) and the doctor told her that she was going to get very ill over the next few days (she didnt)

It was exhausting and untrue

She is a narcissist and I wonder if its linked-she can't bear anyone to out-do her on the 'crap that happens in life' scale

Oh god. You can't help but feel embarrassed for them!

My grandmother was a champion ninerifer with regards to medical stuff. She told me once that she had cancer - something she just casually dropped into a "woe is me" tale; not the kind of "sit down, I have some bad news" conversation it would have been if she genuinely did. After some probing about her prognosis, treatment plan, etc - she begrudging admitted it was "benign cancer". Quite literally, the opposite of cancer...

Omg I love this term for some one!

Aka If you say you own a giraffe, they own its jumper 😆
I've known a few....

I work with one and she makes the day so entertaining! We all poke the bear and set her up for some top trumping elevenerifing and she's hilarious.

I often refer to them as "Mr Black Cat".

If you had a black cat, they'd have a blacker bugger.

I've never heard the Dave term but we call it Tommy Two Shits here so same idea.

DM is another who always has to be more ill than anyone else. I have a whole range of health conditions/disabilities and a range of medications as a result. I don't talk about it very much IRL but when I mention why I can't do something DM still tries to make out she is so much worse than I am. She does have some minor mobility issues but she won't go to the doctor about them because the doctor won't tell her what she wants to hear. We can't plan anything without her commenting "If I'm still here by then" or how she knows she's going to die soon. This has been happening for probably about 15 years now.