Hostile neighbours

[Bewilderedallthetine]

I am a new member so please go easy on me :) I moved to my new house in May this year. My elderly next door neighbours are forever knocking on my door complaining. The latest bug bear from them are my bins..bin day Wednesdays, I put bin out the front of house at 8.00am, before work and take them in at 5.30 when I get in from work. In the summer it is my clothes drying on the line 8 till 5.30 on nice days..it blocks there veiw they say! We live in a semi detached with small front garden and larger back garden both separated by a fence. I get a grocery shop delivery on a sunday at about 10.30 ish..apparently its too early/noisy!. Anytime me or my son are in the back garden, they complain as we set there dog off barking!..I am so tired of tip- toeing around them its becoming ridiculous! They're old and I suppose are stuck in their ways but its becoming such a big problem for me. They have even had a go at my window cleaner about 'noisily' cleaning the windows.. This is normal every day noise isnt it? I am beginning to doubt myself ( fled from DV to live hear)

Ignore them. They are being totally unreasonable.

They're being absolutely ridiculous and honestly I think their behaviour is harassment

Don't entertain them for a second.
Ignore, ignore and ignore.

Oh they're bullying you...what a pair of horrors. Ignore them. Put your washing out whenever you want.

Thank you for answering xx I just feel so drained by it all 😕We are a quiet house hold and make no noise etc. I think all the little complaints stack up and I feel worn out by it.

You either ignore them (or make a lot of noise so that their complaints have some validity...)

Ignore them.
Even if you find it really hard, just ignore.
Do not engage with them at all.
Do not answer the door to them.

If you absolutely must answer the door, tell them, "go away and stop harassing us", then close the door.

Also on Halloween we put a couple of pumpkins out a a big bowl of sweets for any trick or treaters..apparently we were encouraging all the local kids to knock on thier door! Its exhausting! There is much more!

I'd ignore them totally. Don't even answer door.

Honestly, you have to wonder what they'd do if they got genuinely anti-social neighbours. 🙄

Please ignore. If you don’t they’ll never stop. Get a ring doorbell so you can see who’s at the door and you can ignore them, or go to a solicitor and get a letter warning them about their harassment. Alternatively, can you contact your community police officer and get them to have a word.
Just live your life as you’d like to and ignore them.

A ring doorbell is a good idea, I will order one now..are they easy to install?

The couple have lived there for many many years and I think they are stuck in their ways. I always used to be nice and say good morning/hello to them when ever I saw them but there is always something that I/my son (8) have done wrong which they will tell me about, so now its out of my car..head down and straight into the house.

Definitely toughen up with them a bit. Yes they are elderly but you and your family are doing nothing other than living a very normal life.
Ignore any comments and carry on living as you do. If they really kick off politely but firmly tell them enough is enough and you won’t be entertaining their nonsense anyway and if they continue you may need to move and the. God knows who might move in next door to them!

Its hard when you are by yourself without friends or family nearby.

You’ve been incredibly tolerant and patient already. Next time, and every further time, tell them their requests are ridiculous and you won’t be listening to any more. Tell them they need to buy a detached house if they don’t want any sight or sound of neighbours. Tell them you live quietly and politely- and if you receive any harassment you will take legal action.

My mother had to do this with her petty neighbour. She wrote a cease and desist or I will take legal action letter. It really did work.

What do they do that annoys you? you could counter everything with an equally petty complaint.

"you're mowing your lawn at 10am...that's my childs nap time"
"I can see your bin from my window, it's ruining my view"
"you have a blue car, I hate blue, can you change it?"
'yes I hear your dogs barking, it's very stressful, have you thought about training?"

et etc.

I have a very tiresome elderly neighbour, who loves to complain, I just give her a tinkly laugh. When she PA said she could hear my children going to school everyday, and they were waking her up, as they were calling out "I love you, have good day" I just replied "wow are you still in bed at 8.20 am. Gosh that's unusual" head tilt, smile.

Grow a thick skin, all perfectly normal behaviour and tough if they don't like it.

You need a couple of abrupt sentences you can reply with. Think ahead

You could have a simple "don't be ridiculous" and a "now my son is out of earshot, fuck off" version.

You don't need to please them. You don't need to change doing perfectly normal things in order to placate them. You can use them to help you reconstruct a more confident, assertive you. A mum who models strong but fair behaviour to her child.

Most of all though, don't let them get to you, no matter how much you want to 'understand' their perspective. What you have posted is absolutely not normal behaviour, they are utterly bobbins and you can be sure all your other neighbours think so too!

Your washing blocks their view of your own garden???

It's perfectly acceptable to put your bins out:in at those times;I'm betting they put theirs out at like 6pm on the dot the night before and watch for the bin men.

Take heed;we have/had fussy elderly neighbours like this;the husband of the couple died a few days ago so we'll have a little more peace.

Print off a no trick or treaters sign and give it to the neighbours;job done.

Thank you..my new year's resolution is to use some of the comebacks you have kindly put on here to say to them..I am such a sap! 😪I just want to have a peaceful life here with my son..I am not letting him play in the back garden for fear of upsetting them. Things are going to change as cant go on like this. Thank you all for caring xx

It's hard to have swapped one bully for a pair of them.

i think we must have the same neighbours.....

just kidding...

i've been reported to the police by mine for; moving their bins (he's elderly and very poorly and when we take ours in we would take his in as well), damaging his lawn (when we cut our tiny square of grass we cut his for him as well) and the most recently... parking our own car on our own drive...

i have come to realise that you simply cannot please some people

The thing is with these type of people you have to stand up to them. A very firm fuck off should do it. Let’s be honest, they are probably picking on you as a single woman with a small child.

We have had neighbours try to pull shite like this with us and after the first time they have backed off as they have been told in no uncertain terms where to go.

Ah poor you op! I'm an old hag who's forgotten what embarrassment feels like so I would take them round a box of chocs for Xmas and a nice card.

Whils handing it over I'd also ask them to stop hassling you and basically not talk to you ever again unless its to say something nice.
Tell them their behaviour is upsetting, bullying and makes you feel uncomfortable. Literally tell them not to speak to you or knock on your door and yo mind their own business.