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Original poster

Don't know how to deal with this. Ds scamming people online

134 replies

1newname · 18/12/2023 20:58

Back story is we've stopped giving him money due to many ultimatums regarding weed. Last week he was showing off about how he's managed to find a way to make money. I knew it would be something dodgy and he had sold something online which he doesn't have to sell. I told him how disgusted I was, how he's behaving like a scumbag etc. Initially he didn't care but then said he knew it was wrong and wouldn't do it again. And now he has.

I'm so disappointed. I'm embarrassed with how he's turning out. He doesn't seem to have any morals. Every wrong thing a teen can do, he's done. Graffiti, shop lifting, excessive weed smoking and now this. I give up.

OP posts:
Ohdearwhatnow4 · 18/12/2023 21:01

Hoe old is he

JanglyBeads · 18/12/2023 21:02

How old?
In education or work or nothing?
What's the family set up?
How long has he been like this?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 18/12/2023 21:04

I give up.
Maybe that‘s the problem. Each time he has behaved badly, what has been the consequence and for how long?

Original poster
1newname · 18/12/2023 21:05

Sorry, forgot to say he's 17. Year 13 doing a levels. Attendance is terrible (around 60%) but school have been useless, no consequences and he knows it. They won't kick him out or make him retake a year because he's still set to pass his exams.

He's never been great at following rules but hasn't ever got himself into trouble. Never excluded from school etc

OP posts:
Falalalalaa · 18/12/2023 21:07

Ok so no consequences at school, what consequences does he have at home?

Heyhoherewegoagain · 18/12/2023 21:08

So he’s committing fraud.

sorry you’re dealing with this. I have no smart suggestions for how you deal with this, but just hope you don’t have anyone turning up at your door looking for him

Original poster
1newname · 18/12/2023 21:08

Removal of money. I'm not sure what else to do

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 18/12/2023 21:09

Report him to police
Turn off WiFi - if he needs it for homework supervise him

You HAVE to parent firmly here Flowers

JingsMahBucket · 18/12/2023 21:09

I’d turn him in to the police. He’d finally face consequences and it might shock him straight.

BornIn78 · 18/12/2023 21:09

No consequences at school and none at home either.

For starters you could try making 'selling online' as difficult as possible. Change the WiFi password so he doesn't have access to the internet at home.

Original poster
1newname · 18/12/2023 21:13

I think removal of money is a consequence. Over time we've removed other privileges. it's so difficult when you're dealing with a child like this, ds2 is 15 and we don't need to be constantly over his shoulder because he knows right from wrong!

He's got a comfortable life, mum and dad etc. Me and dh both grew up poor and wouldn't have behaved like this.

OP posts:
disappearingfish · 18/12/2023 21:16

Who pays for his phone? If he's under 18 he won't have a contract in his own name. Remove the phone, cancel the contract, put a password on the wifi and keep a consistent message about school, behaviour and weed.

Forgotmylogindetails · 18/12/2023 21:16

Can’t believe there are parents that would turn their child in to the police.

rape child abuse etc I get but this ?

no sorry . Find a way to deal without without turning your own child in for behaving like a twat.

GrazingSheep · 18/12/2023 21:20

Find a way to deal without without turning your own child in for behaving like a twat

There are many posts on MN from people who have been deceived by online scammers like the op’s son. It is not a victimless crime and can cause huge distress.

Chestnutsroastgreen · 18/12/2023 21:20

I would remove any access to online services to prevent your child gaining a criminal conviction.

Falalalalaa · 18/12/2023 21:25

Removal of wifi except for homework
Remove his phone if you pay for it, if he won’t hand it over call the provider and put a block on it.
If this was his first rodeo at being a twat and he was remorseful I would say don’t call the police, but it isn’t and he’s not. What he has done is disgusting and I feel so sorry for the people he’s scammed - this close to Christmas it could be that they thought they were purchasing gifts, people are struggling enough at the moment and he’s taken their money to buy weed? Yeah I’d be calling the police.

You have a vile teenager and he’ll turn into a vile adult before long if someone doesn’t come down on him like a tonne of bricks.

Northernsouloldies · 18/12/2023 21:33

17 is not a child, he's committing fraud and if prosecuted will fuck him up for so many jobs in the future and stitching up people is a Cunty thing to be doing at anytime but especially at Xmas. Those poor fuckers he's ripped off may have scrimped to buy said item (s).

lemmein · 18/12/2023 21:35

How is he scamming, is he using a selling platform? How is he getting paid?

It'll catch up with him soon enough - either legally, or he'll piss the wrong person off.

PonyPatter44 · 18/12/2023 21:39

Can't believe some people would turn a blind eye to their kid committing criminal offences under their roof. He's 17, you might have a chance of tackling this via the YOT (if you still have one in your area - not all areas do).

If he's getting into serious debt buying weed, he might end up in deep shit. Some of the gangs really don't fuck about when it comes to debts.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 18/12/2023 21:40

Chestnutsroastgreen · 18/12/2023 21:20

I would remove any access to online services to prevent your child gaining a criminal conviction.

I agree. Change the wifi password.

Attendance is terrible (around 60%) but school have been useless
whereas you're killing it at home…

RestingCatsArseFace · 18/12/2023 21:41

Report the little bastard. His victims and potential victims will be grateful, especially if they are struggling to buy stuff for their own kids and possibly have a ruined Christmas.

LakeTiticaca · 18/12/2023 21:44

He will scam the wrong person eventually and they will mete out their own justice with a stint in critical care, if he's lucky 😉

ALonelyRoad · 18/12/2023 21:46

Sorry to be blunt but your son sounds like a vile specimen of a human, OP. I know it's easier said than done but he's not going to be a 'kid' for much longer and he's on a dangerous path. I think something drastic needs to happen or his behaviour is only going to get worse. He's under your roof so who knows which dodgy criminals are going to come knocking on your door... Inform the school about his behaviour and the police if they can't do anything/are unwilling to support further. If you do nothing, you're putting your other family members a risk.

SomethingSpangly · 18/12/2023 21:58

Removal of phone and use the saved money to return to the innocent buyer. My older brother was a bit like this, low level ASB with mates etc but it escalated and luckily he got caught in the action for fraud (so parents didn't have to turn him over) and the police had a firm word as no prior history. They were quite open with my parents their aim was to scare the bejeezus out of him, which it did, thankfully. It was 30 odd years ago mind!

Luxell934 · 18/12/2023 22:01

Sorry how is he scamming people online? You said he’s “selling something he doesn’t have to sell”. What is he selling?

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